The Library

The big book says the obsession of every alcoholic is to drink like a gentleman. The obsession of every lust addict is to lust like a gentlemen. Isn't it a pity I can't peek at porn, I can't watch provocative movies, and I cant peek at the pretty candy on the street? What...

For my recovery, I need to remember that thinking, understanding and identifying reasons are luxuries I don't always get. I need to work my program because I believe I have an addiction and it makes me do things that are wrong (morally, religiously, spiritually, or otherw...

If you can't have the recovery you want, want the recovery you have. For me, a big part of recovery is being happy with the recovery I have, even if it isn't perfect.

The "why" might still be a mystery to me, but although I have walked away from juicy situations a few times, the basic and inescapable fact for me is that I have a pattern and it spirals downward. Nothing I have done has arrested it. Looking at my case in a clear way, rem...

I'm sure you've heard the famous poem about two sets of footprints in the sand... This guy died and went up to heaven and was looking back at his whole life and always saw two sets of footprints. And G-d told him that one of them is yours and one of them is mine, I always...

I'm reading a lot of posts and I keep seeing people talking about Shmiras Einayim and fighting fantasies and thoughts. By me, when I see something on the street, I don't fight myself and wonder if I looked too long or not. I just ignore it. I look away and continue on in ...

Dov wrote: The Torah's requirement is not to be lust free, but not to go after the lust that you discover yourself having.   Someone replies: I'm not sure what you mean to say, but I think it is assur to lust after your friend's wife even if you do not act upon it. In fac...

I have been listening to the Phone conferences with Duvid Chaim and I'm happy to report that the unimaginable is B"H occurring in my life. I always wondered when I would get control of my thoughts at the times when I'm faced with a lust challenge. First of all, I've come ...

Recently, the Moetzes Gedolei HaTorah of America issued a groundbreaking statement on Internet use - see below. (To download a high resolution PDF version of the Kol Korei, right click this link and choose "Save Link/Target As"). Q) How did this statement come about? A)...

So. You are still acting out. Well. I need to ask you what it is that you really want. And I am serious. No pat answers and "oh, well, of course I want to quit" - answers allowed here. Do you want to stop? Or do you want to be able to feel spiritual, respect yourself, ...

So. You are still acting out. Well. I need to ask you what it is that you really want. And I am serious. No pat answers and "oh, well, of course I want to quit" - answers allowed here. Do you want to stop? Or do you want to be able to feel spiritual, respect yourself, hav...

We just returned from an exhausting but rewarding trip abroad. In our efforts to bring our work to the Chassidic world as well (our handbooks were just translated into Yiddish), we were Zoche to meet with the following Mahigim on our trip. We spent about an hour with each...

Part of your subject line is: "is Emunah the answer?"... nice name. Well, I am here b'Shem Hashem to say it is certainly not the answer. Having all the emunah a sefer can give you or a rebbe can teach you, is all nice - but it is not the answer for people like us. The a...

There is a Minhag to say Parshas Hama'an as a segulah for parnassa, on the Tuesday of Parshas Bishalach. By saying this parsha, we recognize how Hashem gives us everything we need, and we thereby open the channels of Emunah and blessing into our lives. What can we learn f...

Dear Reb Guard, I must admit that I have not been reading all the emails that you kindly send out every day but I am doing other work for myself. In February last year, I went to my first SA meeting. It was very embarrassing. It was a huge leap for me, but I thought I cou...

Sick Man Getting Well is sober for 8 months in SA In recovery, the goal is "Happy, Joyous and Free". Recently, while driving back from a recovery meeting, I had the good fortune of driving by an "acting out" location. As I drove past it, I noticed a frum guy leaving fro...

This Shabbos - for the first time in a long time, I felt like a Yossel among Yosselach, instead of feeling like a wolf in sheep's clothing. I must emphasize that this negative feeling would accompany me in the best of times as in the worst of times. My actual behavior was...

Our problem is not sex, but lust. And the solution is an inside job and not a behavioral one... Though only by behaving differently can we ever seem to experience any inner change at all. It is no wonder that we lust addicts will have some sex problems - heck, even many (...