The Library

I should write an email every day to thank GYE for what it does for me and for all of klal yisrael, but I am writing now because of a special occasion. I told my wife this week of my struggles with lust; both the falls and b'h the victories. I could have done better with ...

It is normal to have both a need for affection and to have lust for sex! In fact, even though it is completely ossur, perhaps it is even within the realm of "normal" to have a lust for sex with someone other than your wife once in a while! The Torah's requirement is not t...

The first Mitzvah is that of Kiddush Hachodesh. The posuk says 'Lachem' which signifies that we have control over setting the month. What is the significance of this Mitzvah as the first Mitzvah given? The answer is in relation to the issue of time. A slave is not in cont...

I heard a good vort at shiur yesterday which gave me a lot of chizuk, especially in regard to our struggles.The first Mitzvah that was given to Klal Yisroel is in this week's sidrah is the Mitzvah of Rosh Chodesh. However, the first Mitzvah that involved an 'action' is th...

With the help of my Higher Power, I joined SA recovery in early 2009 and started to gain real sobriety and 12 step recovery in May of last year. Today I celebrated 8 months of sobriety. The most important thing I can tell ANYONE who struggles with this on a small or large...

On the mornings that I wake up in pain after a disappointing night (that it feels like resentment, sadness, or squirreliness is irrelevant - it is pain that expresses it self in whatever way. The fact that it is pain that I am experiencing is the point, as far as I am con...

I believe one of the important steps to sobriety is recognizing that we are not perfect and never will be perfect. To use Steve's moshul, we are all pickles and we won't be cucumbers anymore. But it's okay to be a pickle. Some may say it's even better. If we are aiming fo...

One of my favorite Torahs is a Breslover Torah. Rebbe Nachman says that often, only AFTER we go through a period of time or a situation do we first see in 'hindsight' and 'retrospect' how all was really for the good. We see how G-d's hand was guiding us all along. This is...

I sent this beautiful story / video clip to a friend, and this was their response: It truly is beautiful to see his new-found connection to G-d through his recovery. Even a non-Jew's connection with the Creator is something so precious (as we can see by how Hashem respond...

Joining this forum is like someone finally pointing a pen-light into the dark reaches of your soul saying - "Whoop, there it is; and that's what it's been all along". And suddenly it's clear as day... You realize what could've been, and the Y"H tries to rope you back in ...

As far as I have seen, all the warnings about the 'badness' of lust seem quite silly. The silliest warnings of all are the religious warnings, though the moralist ones are a close second... If I was really motivated by goodness or halacha then I'd have never been in this ...

Someone wrote to us: I found one of your first posts to me 12 months ago, that's kept me thinking for all these months: "Yes, we CAN love and be loved, deeper than we could have ever imagined. We truly can find pleasure, comfort and security that we only dreamed cou...

WHAT?? The world can run without me?That's impossibly untrue!How dare you mock my awesomeness?I'm much greater than you!My dreams are all just fantasy?My life's falling apart?Maybe I'll think things over and start a brand new start.I guess there's Someone greater Who was ...

I have B"H over 6 years clean in SA, and I am grateful for such a venue to share these victories in the name of Hashem with others. Somehow I've been doing great even without meetings, but I make phone calls everyday to share and connect. Your chizuk e-mails help even fur...

Ever since joined GYE I've had this argument with others on the forum: "Do the number of days clean really matter?" I don't know how to fully express this, but please believe me when I say I REALLY know what I am saying. It's so hard for me to fully develop this into a co...

Someone writes to Dov: A paradox: After I have acted out, do I say to myself "your intensity in davening is just a cover up, just be normal"? But then I feel that I am being callous about the fall, which is the reason for the intensity; it is a sort of statement to HaShem...

After a big fall, "Ben Durdaya" joined our forum and posted his story... Here is an excerpt of some of the chizuk he gave himself: A. I wil bl"n l try to stop focusing on the damage that I'm doing to my parnossah, learning, children's chances for hatzlachah etc. -all of t...

Someone said an amazing thing today that I wanted to write down and keep in my own little corner of GYE. Of course this is something I knew, but inside I was fighting it... We have to set limits for ourselves that are way behind our trigger points. Because once we get tri...