The Library

The Holy Sefer, Noam Elimelech from Rav Elimelech of Lizensk writes that Yaakov Avinu's attribute was that of Tiferes, meaning "Awesome Beauty". This implies that Yaakov Avinu had the ability to be awestruck by G-dly beauty in all he saw. For example, the Noam Elimelech c...

I do not equate having a desire for lust and sex with 'addiction'. I believe that probably most of the men and women out there who struggle with occasional desires of this nature are not addicts, but just normal. Even in the context of yiddishkeit, where there is no room...

I just want to let you know that I have been making a Double Fence TaPhSiC shevua for the last few weeks but I never came close to even needing it all that time and I wondered if maybe it was a shevuah levatolo. Until last Thursday night, when I had a major slip and rea...

I haven't met more than one or two well-intentioned Rebbi's who actually know anything about addiction - at least enough to make a distinction between what is normal and they can explain, and what isn't and they can't explain. Those few are aware that inspiration does not...

The past year has been different than most of the years of my life until now. Greater awareness, hope, a shared struggle, a glimpse of some truly precious neshomos who populate GYE, a feeling of belonging to a group of truly good people, an entirely new perspective on rel...

'Hanging on' just for today while doing nothing to learn tools to get free of lust is nothing but a bastardization and poor usage of the old adage, 'One Day at a Time". Spare me of that fate, please. I want to surrender lust one day at a time, not hold my breath and pret...

I was walking in the street today and something SO momentous hit me today! Really! Something so earth-shakingly big I felt blessed to realize it! I'm not sure if anyone else has been enlightened to this, but this news is BIG TIME and I wanna share this secret with friends...

I think we desperately need to quit our preoccupation with lust and thinking about our 'addiction patterns' and stop seeing our 'triggers' everywhere. When we use the steps, we are not trying to 'kill our addiction with analysis', but rather to get ourselves and our over...

"According to the Ba'al Shem Tov, every process of tikun (repair, rectification) that we undergo must follow through three stages: submission (hachna'ah), separation (havdalah) and sweetening (hamtakah). In your case, the first stage is to quit "cold turkey" by submitting...

When a large tanker is sailing fast through the ocean, it causes a strong current of water which also follows it's direction: quickly, and powerfully. Turning the ship around however, takes massive energy to first make the turn, and then, to go AGAINST the flow that the s...

I believe that one of the main reasons that I was always hurting so much inside and felt so down on myself, was that in the things that really mattered, I honestly and innocently expected unrealistic things for myself. It was torture. I felt it was a great injustice that ...

It took time It wasn't easy Many tried and failed Some gave up hope it would EVER happen We kept trying, to no avail but finally.... We killed Osama Bin Laden. So too.... It takes time It's not easy Sometimes we fail We feel like were are hopeless Some give up that it w...

I now rejoice with my inner animal: and boy is he big! This 'super passion' that I feel, is a most wondrous thing. Of course, acting out is out of the question: period.So now what? All this energy must go 'somewhere'.Here comes responsibility and a schedule.The yetzer is ...

I have not found it to be true that one must first love themselves before they will be able to love others, as I have heard many people say. Nor do I buy that a healthy self-esteem is needed at all, in order for anyone to recover. Nor do I believe that I needed to feel fo...

Guilt is to the soul what pain is to the body. Pain itself is not a good thing, but it does serve a positive purpose. Pain alerts you to a problem that requires action, it calls you to seek its source and alleviate it. Guilt serves a positive purpose too. Guilt that eats ...

From the Shulchan Aruch Ha'Rav Siman 85, Sif 4: "One should think divrei Torah even in a bathroom, if that's the only way to keep thoughts of women out of his head"

A young man complained to the Kotzker that he was dominated by his wife. The kotzker replied that G-d had told Eve "To your husband shall be your desire, and he shall rule over you" If the first half of this statement is reversed, so is the second. [ Emet VeEmunah, page 2...

The steps (besides the first one) as I was taught them and use them, have little to do with getting me sober. That is what my first step is about, and why it is the only step that even mentions our addiction. The 3rd step and on are about keeping me sober. I must use t...