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Three Steps of Tikkun

A letter addressed to a teenager who asks for advice on how to stop watching movies on his cell-phone. The advice here can be applied to our struggle as well:

GYE Corp. Sunday, 15 January 2012

"According to the Ba'al Shem Tov, every process of tikun (repair, rectification) that we undergo must follow through three stages: submission (hachna'ah), separation (havdalah) and sweetening (hamtakah).

In your case, the first stage is to quit "cold turkey" by submitting your will to Hashem's will and immersing yourself in Torah study.

Once you have begun that, the stage of havdalah begins. You need to clarify for yourself what it is that you are lacking spiritually that makes you find those films fulfilling on a physical/emotional level. This stage is best accomplished by talking things over with a mashpia (a mentor) or a close friend or relative.

The stage of sweetening appears when, as a result of your avoda (serving Hashem) the spiritual need that you were erroneously trying to satisfy by watching films, is satisfied by the level of spirituality that your Divine soul was searching for all the time and you no longer feel at all drawn to be duped by the pseudo-satisfaction that you find in those films.

(The ideas brought here are explained in detail in the book "Transforming Darkness into Light" by Rabbi Yitzchak Ginsburgh, shlit"a)"