The Library

Someone wrote on the forum: I hope I can stop the addiction and become a good Jew! Dov Responds: First of all, you already are a "good Jew". Perfect - no... but good - surely. Hashem certainly loves us even though you and I have weaknesses and may make terrible mistakes ...

A well-known saying asserts that in foxholes there are no atheists. When we're in a position of pain, danger or need, something within us awakens and reignites a deep connection to our Source. And somehow, with this connection, we find strength we never knew we had and th...

Some folks should just get a bumper sticker that says: "Whoever dies with the most Madreigos wins!" We are winners if we are with Hashem - period. That's the attitude that I have seen works best for addicts. All the rest (paraphrasing Rebbi Akiva) is commentary. Serving H...

This letter is written to any bochur or yungerman (unmarried or married young man) who experiences Same Sex Attraction (SSA), as well as to the parents, yeshiva deans, rabbis or friends of such persons. I hope and pray to the Master of the Universe that Jews and others wh...

This past Shabbos afternoon I went out for a nice walk with my wife and children, even though my wife offered to take them by herself and let me rest. Also, I joked around with my kids to put them to bed instead of just ordering them to go to sleep. I actually have a goo...

Dear Duvid Chaim, Here's what I understand so far about this great voyage that we're on. Please let me know if I'm getting it right. 1. We are not working on the Lust Addiction (we are powerless over the addiction), rather we are working on: Understanding where the Pain ...

Eye.nonymous wrote on the forum: I had a disappointing set-back yesterday, even though it wasn't really a fall. But I really got down about it. I managed to pick myself up this morning though. I said to myself, "what happened yesterday is behind you, and there's nothing y...

I have started implementing a practical tip that is helping me. I actually got this tip from the handbook (a pretty useful little booklet). I have begun pinching myself. I know it sounds pretty dumb and ridiculous, but frankly I don't really care, as long as it works. So ...

An addiction, by definition, is something that controls us. We can not ever dream of controlling it. We are fooling ourselves if we think we can win a battle against it. If a big bully comes toward me, a guy I know is too big for me, too strong, I'll NEVER overpower this ...

The Yetzer Hara plays awful tricks on us. He tells us: YOU CAN'T STOP, YOU'RE UNDER MY CONTROL, YOU'RE ALL MINE! Then, right after we act out, he turns around and gets us to believe: IT'S ALL MY FAULT! IT'S ALL MY FAULT! IT'S ALL MY FAULT! See the contradiction? We'd n...

Someone writes on the forum: The reason I would like to avoid the 'addict' label is because if I am an addict, it involves 10 times more work and a lifelong commitment. I do realize that this requires tremendous work and a lifelong commitment, but I am still in the early ...

Many, many folks I know had to go through a long period of time where they had ups and downs and struggled, lost and won. Nu. We are each an olam malei (a complete world) and it feels like everything, inside. It's hard to see how lucky we are even when we are not sober. H...

Does anyone know what it feels like to sit in-front of a 72'' widescreen at 4am without a soul in sight, and with 10 bookshelves lined with DVDs of every sort, and to tell the ribono shel olam: "Tatte, the only reason I did not turn it on is because you don't want me to."...

"After the evening minyan on a recent trip to the United States, a 40-something man beseeched me to write about a Web site called GuardYourEyes, which provides tools for those who have become pornography addicts through the Internet. He did not explicitly tell me he was o...

When we feel Tension/stress/anxiety/whatever you wana call it, the mind automatically searches for comfort... We automatically reach for our good (read: bad) old comforter... Thing is, it never delivers on it's promises... It may or may not sooth us for a few minutes, but...

I was doing library with a class of 5th graders. One of the girls starts telling me about the books that her mother reads; "love books", and the title of the current novel that her mother's reading. "But she doesn't let me read them". And then she looks at me with her big...

The label "addict" does not have to mean "one who has done really bad stuff" - or at least "stuff worse than I have". It doesn't mean one has to actually voyeur, expose himself, or be oiver (transgress on) gilui arayos (ie. with another person - masturbation doesn't seem ...

B"H, I have made strides toward changing my life for the better. I joined the 90-day chart, but I don't live for it, I live with it. I enjoy updating the chart but I don't think about what day it is every moment of the day. I also had the password Gabai change the passwor...