The Library

Hey guys, today is day 56 clean. I can't believe how good you made me feel, all of you. I feel like a drunkie these days, like I had at least a full gallon of Vodka. I'm in a great mood, I'm being mechazek everyone, I pray much deeper, I feel just happy to be a Jew and to...

Someone asked on the forum: How can we give to G-d? G-d doesn't get anything when we do a mitzva..... (See this link for an interesting take on this question) Dov replies: The entire issue seems a boondoggle to me. Just like figuring out exactly why and to precisely what...

I recently read an article in some frum newspaper story, and it's helping me a lot... This guy described himself as the irritable type. Some joker would come up in shul and open the window he had just closed. (How dare he!) Some idiot would drive too fast, or too slow, or...

It's 81 days now and my life has completely changed. I am more happy, energized and connected to Hashem then ever. Shivati eilacha vatirpa'eini ("I beseeched you and you healed me" - Tehillim). My great doctor is GYE. And the best part of my journey is that it has been so...

Here I've been all week trying to take care of the children, preparing meals for them, dressing and cleaning them, washing dishes, doing the laundry, trying to keep the house from getting too messy to live in, shopping, and other assorted chores. And I'm doing it all alon...

Please forgive my frankness, but there is no one I know who has himself at the center of his universe more than me in that trance, staring at schmutz or masturbating. And I believe that anyone who has done that r"l, knows exactly what I mean. Do you? The entire desperate ...

It's been 12 days and I don't even have a desire to sin. I just decided to stop arguing with people, including my wife, my family and my friends. If someone disagrees, I smile and stay silent. If I get criticized, I smile, stay silent, and thank Hashem for the beautiful, ...

In the Gemara in Sanhedrin (26:) Rav Nachman states that even though someone who committed a sin is disqualified from serving as a witness, the aveira of arayos is not as stringent. Tosafos explain that even though the general rule is that a mumar leta'ovin is considered ...

This weeks Parsha begins with the famous word Vayikra - with the small Alef. Much has been said about the small Alef. Bardichev will attempt to add a relevant message. In the perek Tehillim that we say every Friday night right before lecha dodi, there are 7 references to ...

Whatever I have in terms of a relationship with Hashem is "home-grown", meaning: born naturally out of living sober, rather than anything I specifically or consciously "worked on". And my tools are using the steps in a chevra of others using them, to bumble through Life...

I sit at the computer all day ... and my job requires me to constantly be searching. Some other things I've found help me stay clean when I need to be at the computer: 1. Make sure you are drinking WATER! 2. Eliminate colas, coffee, cakes, cookies, and other high stimulan...

This morning is the closest I've been to a fall. I actually typed the address of a p**n site into my browser. I felt completely helpless - as if my intellect had been turned off and I could simply not reason with myself. Suddenly - seemingly out of no-where - I has a spli...

"Tiredoffalling" writes: So I finally cut off internet access from my phone. I am extremely relieved that I no longer have to worry about looking at p**n and I can now focus on really living my life in a pure way. On the other hand, I am very afraid of the withdrawal pro...

Taharas Hamishpacha has been, per my wife, the single most important thing that kept our relationship going during the worst times of trouble and pain due to my addiction. It enabled a safe boundary for her and it made it a bit more clear to me that I really do not own he...

I was finishing a project for a client who needed it ASAP, the file was finished at 10 pm and ready to turn into a PDF. Then WAMMO, the file and all it's backups were corrupted and couldn't be opened. I wanted to YELL AND SCREAM AND CRY at the same time. My very smart wif...

We were told by a couple of Rabbonim that we should contact your organization. We are an herbal company called Nonichai and we have developed herbal natural products that may be of interest to your cause. They have no negative side effects, no after effects, no withdrawal...

I am continuing with SA meetings (trying to make 3 per week) and having daily contact with a sponsor who has been sober for 26 years. I have started to feel the relief and even happiness (if I know what that is) that comes with surrender to the will of a sponsor rather th...

Yes. There is an attraction (to the opposite sex). It's natural. It's overwhelming. Nu? So what? Are you saying that in the long run it's hopeless? Good! If so, you may qualify as an addict, like me. Cuz it's hopeless for me, too. Completely hopeless. Left with my own res...