The Library

I got on the bus today, and it was like a sudden epiphany of freedom - I realized that "hey, I don't have to look around and see which girls are pretty!" I hope it lasts... I think the interesting thing was that it actually came to me as a kind of, "huh... y'know, I reall...

As an addict, I fear my mind still wants to act-out with anything that's not buried in the ground... I can't hang around my head much, you see, because it is diseased... I need to be outside my head as much as possible, and to try to get into God's "head" so to speak... A...

Nothing is so bad, that a little lusting won't make it worse.

If God seems far away, who moved?

Just last week I was on the way home on a bus and had a similar experience. It was a good thing I called a few folks including an addict who I used to sponsor, my wife (who thinks she sponsors me sometimes), and just a friend out of the blue - all just to reconnect with r...

I came on this site looking for help, half expecting either "yeshivishe raid" which won't have the slightest effect on my life, or mystical hallucinations about how you need to balance all the energetic forces within you - using love for nature. Instead, what I found was ...

I have not knowingly lusted today and b"H have not acted out in a while, but when I share in meetings I still say things like "when I act out, I... blah, blah, blah... but b"H I don't need to do that today", because I believe that the day I start saying stuff like, "way b...

Holy Jews, Please consider getting hold of a copy of "Alcoholics Anonymous" and reading it, especially chapters 2 and 3. Just substitute the word "Lust" in place of "alcohol". If you actually read what it has to say and like it, then I'd suggest looking at the last two p...

We wrote an e-mail to Rabbi Twerski: Dear Rabbi Twerski, Here's a PDF file called "The GYE Lighthouse" (right-click and press "Save Target/Link As"). It has a link to a short audio clip from a speech that the Rav recently gave (on Chanukah). It also documents a few of the...

About 70 years ago, a doctor and a drunk went to the famous Carl Jung and asked him what it would take to get rid of the guilt and shame, the stigma and the hopelessness from drinking too much alcohol, raging and then feeling bad about it later. Carl Jung answered: "let p...

After much soul searching and deep honesty, I finally feel ready to share this story as I have a little bit of sobriety under my belt (no pun intended) I was trying to write out my story now for about a week, but I had a lot of trouble doing so. I found myself repulsed by...

"Holy Yid" writes: Tonight, less than one hour ago, I fell after 139 days clean. I am very sad but trying not to beat myself up over it. I grew a lot over the last 4 and half months, and one thing that I feel now is that I won't go to bed hating myself, only very sad. I...

"NOYA" (a 21 Year Old Bochur) rants on the forum: Okay, I miss the lust. I want to act out. But what will happen then? Once I do it, I'll feel miserable about myself. I'll feel "out of it" for days. I'll feel dejected and I won't be able to concentrate on my davening and ...

Do you tell Laticia walking down the street in her tank and short shorts to "realize" what she's doing to you? YOU CAN ONLY CHANGE YOURSELF! TRYING TO CHANGE OTHERS ALWAYS BACKFIRES. We can only change others by example. Perhaps they will make the changes to be like us on...

The Vilna Goan writes (in Even Sh'laymo) that bitachon (Trust in Hashem) is the opposite of taivah for physical pleasure. Taivos are based on a drive to fill a physical need that we feel we must have ... or we'll die. We must have it NOW. We feel that we must provide ours...

I went out with the family yesterday on a trip, and my shmiras eynayim was greatly tested. I kept my cool though-out, and I practiced closing my eyes on the bus and appreciating my ears. It was actually fun! I heard many more things with my eyes closed, and it gave them a...

"B'ahava" asks on the forum: I am struggling with depression and I can't pinpoint what's causing these feelings. From an objective perspective, my life is just fine. In fact, better than ever. I'm 70 days clean! That was unimaginable for me for the past 8 years. I feel li...

You may be completely different than I, but maybe not, so I'll share: Facing the facts about myself is basically the only thing that has been of value to me in getting free - one day at a time. And to do that, I need to be explicit and totally open with other (safe) peop...