Not that it's relevant to you, but I'm like you, too. My addiction is mediocre and my recovery is mediocre. And that's a thing to be faced and accepted, and I do.

I'm so grateful for Hashem's gift to me of the ability to face and accept that. For without it, I'd feel superior to others and it'd all collapse eventually, c"v.

I remember in the past I was scared of being an addict. I would deny it to the end.

Im probably not an addict even. At best a mediocre one.

These days Im brave and I consider myself an addict. I find that its safer to be a recovering addict that not an addict with a problem. "Becoming an addict" has enabled to me to take overcoming my problem more seriously and I am now #67 days clean. B"h I decided that I may need a bit more support than other ppl in these areas. B"h I decided that I will go out of my comfort zone to solve my issues. B"h I am on the way to "recovery."

Deciding that I am not in control has allowed me to use tools to effectively have the outcome I wanted. Essentially putting me back in control, albeit, without the burden of having to "control" it.

Anyway...

I get inspired from your posts and your sincere resolve in working through this complicated issue.

Hatzlacha!

Dov wrote on 19 Oct 2018 16:24:

II am a full-blown addict, and recovery is nu-nu.

Been reading workinguy's post. Impressions so far:

1. He's not an addict
2. He doesn't realize that CBT can help someone who's not an addict but not an addict
3. He doesn't realize that addiction is a real disease that cannot be addressed with temporary measures
4. Is not bipolar and doesn't seem to know much about depression
5. He is articulate
6. He is strongly motivated in life by his role of expert who advises others on addiction issues
7. Is likely threatened by the fact that mzl is now on the forum

Workingguy doesn't realize that when someone says they have a masturbation problem and they explicitly request CBT from GYE users they are being too rigid not helping themselves. They need to be redirected.

mzl wrote on 19 Oct 2018 22:17:

Since I know workinguy personally, I found your points hilarious. No other way to describe it

About point number 2 - how do you know the guy you're debating about that's doing CBT is an addict? Are you the expert?

This post by mzl, as do many others, openly sets out to be judgemental. I think that posts like those are just click bait. They invite the counter-judgmentalism of all others who (thank-G-d) have enough brains to have a different opinion. 

I'm sure are better ways to discuss life and it's many issues.

I have some considered opinions on CBT and addiction because I have spent a lot of time speaking with addicts who have used it with widely varying results but some interesting commonalities. But writing about them in response to mzl's click bait is probably not a good idea. 

Dov wrote on 21 Oct 2018 01:06:

Dov,

Especially in this case, I think you’re certainly correct. 

mzl wrote on 19 Oct 2018 22:17:

Mzl,

Thank you for the assessment in seven neat points. If my therapist was as quick and to the point, I could probably save thousands! 

Dov wrote on 19 Oct 2018 11:56:

Dov or anyone else, can you elaborate on "The humble response. Not to be a begging dog accepting a piteous offer - but a loved friend accepting a gracious"

Thanks

Before I write anything useless and off the mark, I PM'd you for a bit of background info.

Workingguy wrote on 21 Oct 2018 02:58:

So far I have only read maybe 5% of what you wrote.

My thread is boring.

I'm setting a bad example by living with my wife.

I will try to document the tools I use here and there that have some value. I wrote a little essay on it years ago. I will try to format it somehow and upload it somewhere.

Hope to read the rest of workinguy's posts to see how the story ends.

Workingguy again made a public statement that I am detrimental to others. This strongly motivates me to read the rest of his posts. Someone who can write to a user "don't listen to X, he is nuts" needs to be thoroughly investigated ...

I am kind of relieved that workingguy wrote a lot, totally different than the rest of this forum. And totally different brain from Dov.

Still reading workingguy. He was in kollel for a while. Amazing how he was able to convince himself that my comment to a newcomer was an avera. But I guess even gedolim hate and badmouth each other, all the while totally convinced that it's for the sake of Heaven ...