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TOPIC: lemonade stand 31726 Views

Re: lemonade stand 12 Nov 2015 00:10 #268447

stillgoing
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Cordnoy

ZemirosShabbos

so you know my sweet little friends, i hope you can see, you and your children, me and my children, all of us together, lemme tell you this story about the gabbai of the Ropzhitzer Rebbe.

he wasn't a very smart man, which is why the Rebbe liked him, so the Rebbe could do things and not worry that people would see his true madreigos. anyway, one day in shul someone got up and said "hatodah ve'keil nazir...", and everyone started laughing, including the gabbai. everyone was sure that the gabbai did not 'get' the joke so they asked him why he's laughing. he says "he's a fool, in middle of davening you can say Hashem's name...."

I wanted to use this to lighten up the daf yomi crowd (suffering thru nazir now), but I couldn't.....

Warning: Spoiler!

Cordnoy

Gevura Shebyesod

hang in there chap you'll get it eventually.

Will I crack up in middle of davanin' tomorrow when I get there?

So what part of davanin' were you up to when you chapped? I hope you weren't the chazzon.

Warning: Spoiler!

BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

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Re: lemonade stand 12 Nov 2015 00:45 #268449

Markz
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Shteeble wrote:

l'chaim!

It's not just woodford anymore.
Trucks run on lemonade too!

A cop pulled over a car and finds a couple in the front seat – Morris and Mindy Epstein.

“Where’s your seat belt sir?” asked the cop.

“Oh, I just took if off now when you were walking up to the car,” responded Morris.

“No you didn’t!” exclaimed his wife, “You never wear your seat belt! ”

A little taken aback, the cop asked to see his license.

“Aw darn!” cried Morris, “I must have left it home!”

“Yeah right!” screamed Mindy, “You know it expired 3 months ago! ”

At a loss for words, the cop asked Mindy, “Are you always so tough on him?!”

“No” responded Mindy, “only when he’s had too much to drink!”

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Re: lemonade stand 19 Nov 2015 04:29 #269029

Markz
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A Chinese / Jewish Restaurant Joke
A Jewish man and a Chinese man were conversing. The Jewish man commented upon what a wise people the Chinese are.

"Yes," replied the Chinese man, "Our culture is over 4,000 years old. But, you Jews are a very wise people, too."

The Jewish man replied, "Yes, our culture is over 5,000 years old."

The Chinese man was incredulous, "That's impossible, he replied. Where did your people eat for a thousand years?"

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Re: lemonade stand 25 Nov 2015 18:14 #269644

stillgoing OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1700 Karma: 157	I'm sure this one is somewhere on gye, thanksgiving min hatorah minayin?
	BIG SHOT! Free Choice?! Yirai's Memories STORY TIME :) Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go. FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards) 613stillgoing@gmail.com

Re: lemonade stand 25 Nov 2015 19:05 #269649

Markz NOW ONLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 8259 Karma: 428	stillgoing wrote: I'm sure this one is somewhere on gye, thanksgiving min hatorah minayin? According to my knowledge מודים דרבנן
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Re: lemonade stand 26 Nov 2015 00:59 #269701

peloni almoni
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markz wrote:

stillgoing wrote:

I'm sure this one is somewhere on gye, thanksgiving min hatorah minayin?

According to my knowledge מודים דרבנן

no no no. הודו לה' כי טוב, as hodu is turkey in hebrew.

Have a corny day ... and if you do have other plans, change 'em!!
peloni_almoni@hotmail.com

None of us has it all together, but together, we have it all.

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Re: lemonade stand 26 Nov 2015 01:58 #269704

Markz NOW ONLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 8259 Karma: 428	Machshovo Tova wrote: mr. wrote on 22 Nov 2012 22:01: wild turkey's great ... I like cold turkey - as in 'stopping cold turkey'. Works for me B"H. MT I prefer Black Friday
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Re: lemonade stand 26 Nov 2015 03:32 #269708

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Re: lemonade stand 26 Nov 2015 23:49 #269771

Markz NOW ONLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 8259 Karma: 428	TrYiNg wrote: A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, ' Do these turkeys get any bigger?' The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'
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Re: lemonade stand 26 Nov 2015 23:55 #269772

Markz NOW ONLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 8259 Karma: 428	Machshovo Tova wrote: Re: CHOLINT!! mr wrote: chasam sofer einaklach are prohibited in partaking in the food called turkey. .and are they allowed to drink wild turkey?
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Re: lemonade stand 06 Jan 2016 20:26 #273538

stillgoing
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Signs that you are Webbed Out...
#1 Your opening line is, "So what's your home page address?"
#2 Your best friend is someone you have never met.
#3 You are overcome with disbelief, anger and finally depressed when you encounter a Web page with no links.
#4 You are driving on a dark and rainy night when you hydroplane on puddle, sending your car careening toward the flimsy guard rail that separates you from the precipice of a rocky cliff and death. You look for the "Back" button.
#5 Your dog has his own Web page. So does your hamster.
#6 When you read a magazine, you have an irresistible urge to click on the underlined passages.

Personally, I can relate to #4 and #6

Re: lemonade stand 06 Jan 2016 20:28 #273539

bigmoish
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#2 strikes a chord

Re: lemonade stand 06 Jan 2016 20:34 #273542

stillgoing OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1700 Karma: 157	Bigmoish wrote: #2 strikes a chord Dats true. I wasn't think of gye.
	BIG SHOT! Free Choice?! Yirai's Memories STORY TIME :) Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go. FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards) 613stillgoing@gmail.com

Re: lemonade stand 06 Jan 2016 20:43 #273546

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Bigmoish wrote:

#2 strikes a chord

Firstly, stop hittin' me!
Secondly, we did meet.

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
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Re: lemonade stand 06 Jan 2016 21:29 #273551

gevura shebyesod
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I thought you're allowed as long as it's with a stick and not Derech Chiba.

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