Last week I gathered up the large collection of "schmutz" that I began accumulating about fifty years ago, and bundled it into trash bags for disposal. I also deleted the schmutz on my computer.

As a Baal Teshuvah, this may be the last and hardest step I've taken toward full observance of the mitzvos.

My motivation was I'm facing a life crisis that I don't think I can overcome on my own. By becoming "clean", maybe Hashem will have pity on me and give me peace.

May Hashem ,The Creator Of The World,bentch me with your strength to do whats right, and send you a yeshuah quickly  and fulfill your hopes in Him!

Dovid824 wrote on 06 Jun 2018 16:52:

you should have it the easy way, hashem does only good, there is no such a ting "bad" by Hashem, and whatever it looks bad, its just for our eyes, and in reality its only good, so hashem should help you you should see only good, and you should have a safe and clean way....

Dovid824 wrote on 06 Jun 2018 16:52:

About fifty years you say?
I can't even fathom how difficult that was.
Throwing out the "schmutz" must have been complicated by a plethora of sentimental emotions. You are a giborto have done that. I envy your strength.
Bless you my friend.
May Hashem truly have pity on you and bring you the peace you so yearn for.

Thanks for the supporting replies.

I've remained "clean" for ten days. B'ezras Hashem, I will remain clean for the remainder of my life.

May Hashem give you the strength. However תפסת מרובה, לא תפסת - one day at a time (ODAAT), that is the motto here. If you try for too much at once it doesn't work. 

WannabeFree wrote on 11 Jun 2018 05:04:


Actually, my personal experience as a BT has been that making a long-term commitment to Hashem does work (for me). As I've taken on one mitzvah after another, I usually try it for a while. Then if I've been successful, I make a longer commitment.

That's worked for kashrus, Shabbos, tefillin, daily prayer and Torah/Talmud study. I have emunah that it will work for the issue of this topic as well.

That is amazing! Only taking on new mitzvos is not the same as getting rid of an addiction, so be aware that if you are addicted (and after 50 years of it the chances are high) it may not be so easy. May you succeed either way! 

Good for you. And may Hashem give you peace regardless.

I think if you threw out a fifty year collection then in some sense He already did.

WannabeFree, no offense, but you seem to insist on giving me unsolicited advice. I didn't post this topic to ask for advice, but only as a example of "What Works for Me".

Dovid824 wrote on 11 Jun 2018 08:17:

WBF is a sweet guy. Maybe get on the phone with him if you need aniy clarification

Perhaps he could've worded it a little more of his own personal experience, but to me he sounded more like sharing "what works for him" in your situation, and less advice.

The forum is designed for such conversation, even if not everyone has the same gift of the gab.

Please "Live and Let Live", and keep us posted how your "Life" is progressing

Ok, Markz and byebye.

WannabeFree, I apologize for my arrogance. But I still think you're wrong.

No offence taken and apology accepted. Also I apologize for being so pushy. Truce?
If you are able to quit cold turkey, I envy your abilities, I certainly have not been able to.

WannabeFree wrote on 11 Jun 2018 20:22:

"Cold turkey" may not be accurate. I registered on this site over four years ago and made no progress whatsoever until about ten days ago.

And the motivating factor was (and is) a life crisis that I'd prefer not to elaborate on. Perhaps it's Hashem's way of getting my attention.

There's an old quote by Mark Twain: quitting smoking is easy, I've done it a hundred times ...