YeshivaGuy wrote on 11 Mar 2021 02:36:

Truly Amazing!!!

Now a quick question. Do you have anything lined up for the time that this (Yeshiva) thread takes a month recess. Any guys you can hang out with? Or will it have to be gals...

Markz wrote on 11 Mar 2021 02:47:

A month recess?! While I’m home? Not happenin
The deal with IMG includes the ability for GYE.
As far as lmaaseh a chevra to hang with, so yaa, shver matzav

Baruch HaShem things are going great. Not perfect, but pretty great.
I was zoche to meet HHM tonight. It was a tremendous chizuk and zechus to say the least.
I just got back from the Bais HaMedrash after solidifying and quantifying 4 questions I have on prior shiurim for my Rebbi.
I can’t wait to meet with him in his office to talk in learning and not only meet to discuss my problems.

Im still searching for a chavrusa for next zman. It’s been hard learning alone for first seder for the last 2.5 months...

Anyway, I’m feeling good and looking forward to a productive day tomorrow and an uplifting Shabbos, B’ezras HaShem.

Uch! עבירה גוררת עבירה...
Kabola: I wil Not touch myself (for hanaa in the area) until Isru Chag, and once I am home I will not sleep in the same room as the IPhone.

Ok time to dig some more. Wasted the day so far with the yetzer (in other words I almost masterbated) going against the grain and gonna push to go to the bais.
Its become clear that under no circumstances can I bring this iPhone back next zman. And it most certainly won’t be in the room I sleep in at home

I’m moving on. I put myself in a stupid and untenable situation by bringing this iPhone back. But all I can do is commit to not repeat the mistake.

Rough. Very rough day. That’s all I’ll say.
Thanks @OivedElokim...

Ok guys, Gn. Hopefully a better day tomorrow.
Hopefully...

No strength to write here now, plus I think I’ve been writing too much lately, prob annoying the chevra...

Have a good day

I’m not annoyed by your posts.
Whoever is has the option of not reading it, no?

Chavrusa situation for next zman isn’t looking good at all for both sedarim.
Oy. Just relinquishing myself to HaShem. Going to sleep. 

Saw a girl my age eating pizza at a table in pizza shop.
She looked up when I walked by.
Usualy I’d be thinking in my mind “OMG she wants sex! I should go flirt with her and get her number!”
But today I was like “that’s a person eating pizza.”

Anyway, almost done the zman here, not on the greatest of highs but that’s the situation...

Yup indeed - a person eating pizza.
​The profundity of your posts blow me away.
Every time.

Long live King YG!
; )

IMG

Ok folks, Bein Hazmanim starts tomorrow.
As far as plans, we got the no internet browsing deal/commitment.
We got the no sleeping in room with my iPhone thing.
Now, to be honest, that’s gonna be hard lmaaseh..........

Then there’s the learning/davening thing.
So there’s no Bais HaMedrash by me, so I could commit to driving 25 min every day to a a BM, but that’s hard commitment idk...
I could wake up, work out, daven neitz, then learn in my room.
I can stam bumb out and go to minyan once in awhile, idk.

I just don’t wanna be in the situation where I’m lying in bed all day posting on GYE whining about not going on the internet/Masterbating.

I want to chazer 30 blast Gemara rashi tosfos in Yevamos. I want to learn some more maamarim in Pachad Yitzchak for Pesach. And I want to prepare shiur for the summer where I’ll be giving shiur every morning.
Those are my goals.

Unsure about my chavrusa matzav for next zman, but that’s not my concern right now. 
My objective at this point is to survive and thrive under the upcoming weeks.

Looking forward to continuing this journey together. I’m aware that things won’t be perfect, as they never are.

I ask HaShem Yisborach to grant me the Emuna, Bitachon, and the resolve, to emerge from this upcoming tekufa as a true בן חורין בלב ובנפש.

YeshivaGuy

I am in love of these types of posts. Keep them coming even during Bein Hazmanim.

YeshivaGuy wrote on 18 Mar 2021 04:05:

Wow your posts and progress are so inspiring!
Here's a guy that's from a modern background, had/has all the internet access he wants (or doesn't), if I could guess he was in a co-ed class for at least some of his childhood, doesn't even have a BM near where he lives...
And with all that look where he is holding

He's 190+ days clean.
Gave up his connection to girls.
He's steiging in Yeshiva.
Wants to give up his smartphone, his parents probably think he went crazy or something...
Is not going online over bein Hazmanim.
Won't sleep near his phone at night.

Turned into a real Yeshiva Guy!
Truly Amazing!


Keep inspiring others
HappyYid

I came home a few hours ago.
It feels like I’m in a vacuum of time. The first thought that comes to mind upon boredom is to go on internet. I realize this will be harder than I thought.
Theres just nothing here, it’s a midbar. 
I hope to wake up early tomorrow to daven, work out, and learn. Starting the day right is key. 

It’s a scary thing, this concept of time and bechira. Time exists and passes no matter what. And it’s within my control what happens during that period.
Time can not be escaped. It can only be harnessed and utilized for conscious construction, or mindless destruction.

Will stay b’kesher, I’m going to need it.

YeshivaGuy