YeshivaGuy wrote on 19 Apr 2022 07:25:

Hey YG, good to hear you’re still forging ahead despite all these attacks from the soviet hacking corp bunker bombing our filters. 

I wanted to comment on 1 things you wrote - if I may. 

“filter doesn’t work now”

Filters are not designed to “work”. They are designed to be a small fence that catches us - if we wish to allow it to. Sometimes life gets too tough and we prefer to get that ladder and jump over the filter. 

The filter is not broken. 
Rather sometime we are broken, and when that happens, the filter isn’t designed to help us, nor be the guy to put us together again.

Am I making sense?

Markz wrote on 21 Apr 2022 16:37:

Very very true. 
Its a hard thing to accept but you’re right.
Thanks

Howdy fellas!

Thanks to those who’ve reached out during my absence here, and sorry for my silence.
Its been a lot, but no need to rehash right now.
Went back home cuz had corona, starting to feel better so hopefully will go back2moro.

Its an exciting time though, I’m giving learning another shot. Plan is to go to shiur.
Was derailed with corona/feeling pretty sick, getting up though and giving it a shot.

Feels embarrassing to go back to the beis, feels so much like it’s not for me, but I’m gonna go.
I have no clue at this point what I want in life but I’ll give this a shot and see what happens.
Its hard to explain it, but my bones are pushing me back. Not my mind but my very bones.

Was clean 7 days.
Went out for shabbos with a friend.
He was talking tons bout the girl he’s dating.
Place we stayed by had a young couple at the meal today, I didn’t know.
The wife was super pretty and talkative etc and I wasn’t careful with my eyes…

Anyway, back to Yeshiva and moving on

Keep up the good fight, be a super warrior!

I’ll be cryptic:
I can go somewhere for a day or two under the guise of a mitzva, but there’s a girl there I know I’ll end up hanging out/shmuzing a lot with and will be horrible for me but super fun.
Gonna hold back, I surmise.

YeshivaGuy wrote on 15 May 2022 23:05:

I’ll not be cryptic. 

Why not make a Mitzva out of it?
You’re already in the Parsha!

Markz wrote on 16 May 2022 04:12:

Depending on where one is holding in therapy, the idea of marriage may be too scary. On the other hand, it can give a person a whole new purpose, new goals, and a fresh start away from home.

Definitely worth bringing up with your therapist to see if he thinks you are ready. If you are making progress in therapy and you find that he is helping you navigate life, you can be confident that even if you struggle during marriage with whatever you are dealing with, he will be able to guide you through it and you will be able to grow from it. 

Markz wrote on 16 May 2022 04:12:

Maybe I misread, but I don't remember YG saying he's in the parsha, I think his friend is. (Maybe he spoke to you off the forum)

@yeshiva guy, will you change your nick to @kollel guy when you'll get married?

Ybird wrote on 16 May 2022 16:55:

He’s gonna have to become a Rebbi in Yeshiva (and I’m sure will be an awesome one )


Kollelguy and Kollel Guy are already taken…
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/profile/my-profile/userid-5820

Markz wrote on 16 May 2022 18:32:

last time they were around was about 10 years ago!
can anyone in the Hanhula check whats up with him, maybe he changed nick or something

wilnevergiveup wrote on 16 May 2022 06:42:

Thanks for taking the time to comment and taking interest in my life.
As of now it’s poshut to me that I’m not ready to date yet. Baruch HaShem I’ve made big strides this year in my mental health, dealing with trauma etc, but I still have a ways to go.

Also, although this girl and I “click,” I don’t think it’s a good shidduch for different reasons…

Markz wrote on 16 May 2022 18:32:

Lol good Shaila.
There was a point I wanted to be a Rebbi. I then switched to wanting to be a therapist (perhaps a R’ Wallerstein type figure).
As I began this tekufa of upheaval while dealing with trauma, I began thinking I wanted to go into business, perhaps pursuing a degree in accounting.

Now however, I simply don’t know anymore, and am trying to take things day by day, deal with my inyanim, and slowly get back to learning.

Looking_to_improve wrote on 16 May 2022 10:31:

Correct, thanks.
And thank you for commenting on my thread and following my journey. It really means a lot.
I wish you much hatzlocha and please be in touch anytime.

YeshivaGuy