You can find that in the bottom of the dropdown on the top of the page where it says tools

I really feel your pain. It sounds real tough. I would just like to reiterate that many times an open mind is necessary for recovery. Hatzlacha Raba.

Welcome! Please come in with an open mind. To me, saying "I need this type of solution" and "I can't do that type of solution" is counterproductive.

I assume you mean SA not SE. What do you know about it? Why do you call it a psycological game?

One of the hallmarks of sex addiction, perhaps any addiction, is control. We want to feel in control. Dictating how you would like to recover is holding on to that control, and can stifle recovery efforts.

Many of us have found that we could not recover until we gave up that control (I know it sounds scary) and trusted someone who has been sober for a while and followed what they told us.

I highly recommend that you check out the dov quotes link in my signature.

Many have been in your position and have recovered, but often, they had to be willing to follow some uncomfortable advice.

As far as needing it every night, you may have to suffer some real pain for a time. Withdrawal is difficult. Can you make a committment to do whatever it takes? It will get easier over time.

I wish you all the best.

Keep us posted.

gibbor120 wrote:


Even in recovery mode, we like to control.

I'm not sure anyone here really undrstands what I'm looking for. I understand I will have to suffer some pain. Just trying to find some advice.

Anyway, I have prepared a plan that I believe is very possible. Please give your input.

I am starting to skip nights masterbating once every three days for a while (perhaps 90 days). This will help me begin the process of going to sleep without it something I could get used to.

Then if successful, i will increase to every other day probably also for a long time period. Eventually I will be able to begin the process of actually stopping and making that habit.

I will keep you all updated on my progress.

Please let us know if it works. I have seen some here try that method, but I can't recall anyone saying that it has actually worked for them.

It's really hard to go halfsies, and it is really easy to rationalize. "It's only day 2 and I really need it. I'll just masturbate now, and skip an extra day before next time etc."

I don't mean to be pessimistic. I'm just trying to share what I have seen.

With something similar Cordnoy told me sometime back - this may not be a plan at all

I personally would enjoy more doing it once every 2 days rather than every day...

If you say you're doing this for 2 weeks, then spacing by another day, perhaps, but your plan is essentially not fulfilling any guardyoureyes program, while ostensibly being an active participant...

That's what I'd say to myself if I was thinking of such a plan...

gibbor120 wrote:

I also know people who did that and it didn't seem to work.

Personally, I have no experience with this type of plan, but it didn't seem like Mr. sleliminate (Rabbi?) was looking for anybody's advice. He clearly stated his plan, and graciously informed us that he will keep in touch to let us know how he's doing. If he feels confident about it, let him do what he thinks will work.

I told you what I think won't work, now I'll say what I think may work for you

Write down in your calendar the following

Today is day 1
Day 1 - 7: No masturbation
Day 8 - 30: Musturbate every second night

How's that for a plan?
Pls get back to me next week and let me know how it went

Bigmoish wrote:
I'm conversing with rabbi eliminate, because I care about you, and therefore feel comfortable sharing my 1 cent
If you don't need it now, no problemö, someone else will be over to take it

sleliminate wrote:


A man with a plan. My kind of guy!!

I came up with so many plans I can't even remember most of them. But I do remember trying to skip days between masturbating. I tried Fridays only, Monday and Thursday only, afternoons only, mornings only, in the shower only, with my left hand only, thinking of 1 porn star only, only if I learnt enough first....

I can relate with what you're going through and I would be interested to see the results of this method.

To those who don't like my plan...Please tell me why and please tell me specific alternatives. I really want feedback and I want to hear any criticisms anyone has.

I cannot stop cold turkey and I don't want to die with this terrible habit. Therefore, the only alternative is not stopping cold turkey, rather stopping slowly and fighting the habit slowly throughout a year or so. Otherwise, I feel I will fail.

I used to masterbate a lot more (3-5 times daily!!) but I narrowed it down to just at night through the force of habit which I feel is the key to fixing any bad midda (or good midda unfortunately). Consistency will be the main force at hand here in my opinion. Otherwise, I will fail. But, I will certainly fail aith any cold turkey plan.

I would like to utilize the tools on GYE to help me execute this plan, but I reallly want to hear specific feedback as to what else will work. I'm not into the "fluffy stuff" like reading articles etc...that never helped me before. Only a solid plan has helped me before.

Thank you for your feedback I want to hear everyone's opinion.

can you stop cold turkey for one day?

Yes, I can with effort. I've done it before several times.