Hi All
I have just joined and will be setting up my filters shortly.
I always thought I could control my problem but after reading a few of the stories on the GYE site I realise I have been way out of control.
There are so many reasons or rationalisations why someone would surf shmutz and self gratify but it's time to be completely honest with myself.
My name is doppelgangermark and I have an addiction.
I am 1 day clean and feeling very positive that i have found the site and have put measures in place to beat the Yetzer.

Welcome!!

Yes, we have all been out of control, and outbid ourselves in lust.

Let's hope we all succeed today

doppelgangerMark
Are we related?

Welcome!
This is a great place and many of us have had our lives changed by GYE.
A good starting point is to check out the homepage (guardyoureyes.com/homepage) and all it has to offer, and actively use the tools available.
Hatzlocho!

Doppelgangermark wrote:

The guy who got krias shem at your bris was in for a surprise...

Welcome Doppelgangermark, you came to the right place!

50% of the solution is knowing there is problem and knowing what it is, now for the harder 50%, hard but not to hard.

P.s. I think we should the spelling from solution to SOULution.

Welcome! Sounds like you are off to a great start!

Welcome! You're in a good place here, many good people who want to help you out and many tools to help you out. Keep on posting!

Welcome...

Looking forward to journey the pathways of recovery with you

Welcome,
B'hatzlachah.

WELCOME Doppelgangermark! You have come to the right place. The important thing is to put measures into place so that you do not have to fight the yetzer. Setting up filters is a good start. Stick around. There's lots to learn here.

doppelgänger

noun
1.
a ghostly double or counterpart of a living person.

Welcome Mark, I like the name. I don't know what connotation you were thinking when you chose the name. Maybe you feel like you're are living two lives one filed with lots of schmutz and another in which you are an upstanding member of the community. That is the picture of many of us here.

I like to suggest a pshat based on last weeks parsha for a different type of double.

The mefarshim tell us that after Adom ate from the Etz Hadas, the Yetzer Hara that was previously outside a person came within him. There are various pshatim offered how to understand this. I wanted to propose the following. I am in middle of a fascinating book called "The Marshmallow Test" in which a psychologist describes his decades long study on self-control based on what has become known as "The Marshmallow Test." The test involved placing kids in a room (with a one-way mirror) and they were given a choice between 1 marshmallow now or 2 marshmallows after a 15-20 minutes period during which they would wait in the room alone with the two choices on the table. If they wanted to eat the one marshmallow they just rung a bell and someone would come in. The book studies the methods that the kids used in being able to control themselves and wait to receive two marshmallow since the studies showed that kids who were able to wait it out showed higher success rates throughout their lives.

In the book the author describes how a colleague would ask pre-schoolers to consider a choice between a small piece of chocolate right now and a very large piece later (showing them both pieces). When he would ask them "What would an intelligent child choose?" the child responded that he would wait; but when the researcher asked "What would you do" the kid would say: "I'll take it now." His point was that when we make choices we can use different parts of our brain. When it comes to making decisions in the abstract we use the "cool" part of our brain and can make rational decisions, whereas when it comes to decisions affecting ourselves we use the "hot" part of the brain and make more emotional decisions, and we often don't make rational decisions that way.

I was thinking that maybe this is pshat with the Yetzer Hara inside of us our outside. Before the cheit, the Yetzer Hara was on the outside and our decisions were more like what a person outside of me should be doing, allowing a person to think more rationally, whereas when the yetzer hara came within us it was what should I be doing and the decision to think clearly became much harder.

In dealing with self-control and lust issues we have to start learning how to use the "cool" part of our brain and making rational decisions. That is why GYE is so helpful to many because it allows you to detach yourself from the throes of lust turn to another and start thinking rationally.

So use your "double" not as a nemesis but to ask that double what would a rational person do in these situation? Would a rational person make the decisions that I am about to make?

There are so many resources here. Take advantage of them all. Wishing you much hatzlacha on your journey.

Some people like myself skip looooong posts.
That's why spoilers are great they keep the post short

BUT the previous one I just read is not to be missed!!

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends?limit=15&start=195#127835

Scroll down a couple of posts for the actual video attached.

LOL

Kol ha kavod, i like the pshat and thanks very much for the good wishes.
1087 days streak- wow, pretty impressive!