BS"D

Dear Alex Eliezer,

You wrote: "That was murder--all day, every day. So was not looking at women. Thought I was going to die if I didn't check out this one."
You call that not being a madreiga? I agree that it is poshut the description of the Mitzvah of Lo sosuru, but that doesn't make it not into a madreiga in this generation.

Well, at least I try again to do cold turkey, but to warn you I never liked turkey. Something I am missing in this country is lambsmeat.

You are a Tzaddik (I am really impressed by what you wrote and what I quoted in particular)
ShmaYisroel

So the shower almost got me again, but just as the release was coming i somehow managed to keep my current and longest streak since i started gye. There was once i went a full 6 months but only because i was in yeshiva in Israel, I had felt that Israel was too holy of a place to do things like that, then i came home for peasch, and it was all over. ooh well. Heres to a new fresh and good year.

I can feel your struggle and powerlessness. It's not easy, but just know that Hashem is there with you and when you're at your weakest is when you can have the humility to let Him in and surrender to Him.

Hatzlacha!

After 27 days clean i had a fall, the worst part was it was erev yom Kippur, but it was ok because I had an even more meaningful Yom Kippur, and reading an in depth explanation of the Al Chets opened my eyes to what i had become.
Now what led to the fall was like my last posts had to do with the shower, from here out i will limit my time in the shower to enough time to clean myself and get out, unless im injured and the reason im in there is to use the hot water to sooth my muscles, but i will have to be on top of myself.
I have recently started listening to more shiurim at the advice of some of the other members here. I plan to get to 27 days + this time.

To Serenity you said i should let him in and surrender to him. What does it mean "surrender to him"? and how do i "surrender to him"?

Strugglingtomakeit wrote:


Have you read the white book?

Sorry to hear about your fall. As we say here, JUST KOT!

Spending too much time in the shower is a trigger for anyone here who is struggling with going down the rabbit holes of porn and masturbation. I have been limiting my time in the shower since I have been here, and it is has helped me be Tahor .

@ cordnoy YOU ask have you read the white book?

One question What is the white book?

Strugglingtomakeit wrote:


That answers that question.

Look in my signature.
Look on the home page.
Look at resources/tools/books/downloads.

B'hatzlachah

i had a fall last night, personally and ive even spoke to a friend about, even though i know a lot of you will disagree but i blame it on "Too much Yuntiff". but im gonna get back on my horse and ride again.

Strugglingtomakeit wrote:


Maybe you want to get on a white horse and read the write book

Btw. I'm sure many of guys here have feel like you with too much Yontif...

Too much yontif is a interesting aside.

I see it for me as

It can get very self indulging, the food, the sleep, the drinking, the chilling which is a hop skip and jump from ........
Self indulging.

I don't know... just a thought.

Setup one chavrusa a day on yt, learn something that speaks to your neshama, and maybe don't be too afraid to limit a little the indulging? ... ?

I always fell after Shabboss and Yomtif. It took me a year of going to meetings every motzei Shabboss just to break the habit and substitute new positive behaviors.

Motze shabbasim, oy they were the bulk of my troubles, my teacher used to explain the frantic pursuit of motzei shabbas entertainment as the need to fill the spiritual void left by the departure of the neshama yeseira,


It seems not only us, but the whole world goes meshugge sat night. It's like the light is turned off and everyone is bouncing off the walls looking for a match

markz wrote:


Let us know please when that is done.