I'm not new to gye, but new to posting in the forum, I've had trouble for sometime but could find a way to help break me free from it. It's been a very hard struggle, I started with the porn when I was 12, the masturbation started before that. Every time I Start making any head way, i end up right where i started.

On a side note can anyone tell me the Difference between a "Slip" and a "Fall"?

Welcome,

Good step to post.
What age bracket are you in now?
What have you tried?
Perhaps drive a bigger car.

b'hatzlachah

I'm currently 24, Iv'e tried cold turkey.

Welcome to the forum! The more the merrier

Strugglingtomakeit wrote:


Cold turkey is good but hot salami is even better.

I tried cold turkey and it worked.

But cold turkey means no lusting, not just no porn or masturbation.

To answer your question, slipping is lusting without looking at overt porn or masturbating.

But P&M are not really the problem, and this is where most people fall off the wagon before they even get on.
I don't have a P&M problem, I have a lust problem.
I am addicted to lust and lusting.
This takes many forms, but they generally fall under two headings:
What we see and what we think.

Looking at a pretty face is lusting.
Watching women on television is lusting.
Looking at women in advertisements is lusting.
And thinking lustful thoughts is lusting.
All these things build up tension, and P&M are the release -- the fall that is caused by the slips.
Then the process starts again.

So cold turkey can work well, provided we're really completely off the drug. No weaning. We just stop. Cold turkey. Bulletproof shmiras eynayim. Verbally surrendering lustful thoughts and images to Hashem, verbally turning over our lust to Him, begging Him to take our lust. That's what cold turkey means. No drug.

Once we're off the drug, it's helpful to replace the bad habit with new good habits. Like developing healthy relationships with family and friends, exercising, re-connecting with Hashem, learning.

Let's do this.
Welcome!

Yea so cold turkey doesn't work for me. Shocker!
I have found another problem with me, I sit and read the forum posts about people lusting and it gives me thoughts and i lust and have so many thoughts some of which are me trying not to lust or watch or have a release, but it just makes it worse, And i cant control it a lot of the time.
Here is where i disagree with you, P&M are a problem, they are not a drug but a means to a drug or high,after doing watching or doing it for so long your body gets used to the chemical release it just wants more at any cost, much like real drugs. But instead of attacking it head on informing people of the dangers of the chemical release, they use the excuse oh it just you "Yetzer Harah" trying to get the best of you, be strong. But people need to understand why it really is so hard to stop.
But yes Generally It is the Lust from looking at someone or something or a thought that screws you up in to lusting and the tension gets worse and gets so bad you need a release

I have found that there are two aspects to my lust problem. The habit and the obsession. The habit is the one that you are refering to. Just like any drunk going through detox, breaking the lust habit can be painful and difficult. Made more so by the fact that the nearest booze is right there between your ears. As Dr Seuss would say, I can lust with my eyes shut.
Alex is refering to dealing with the obsession part. It is not about physical craving, rather it is the search for lust to deal with our mental craving. That is ultimately more persistent and pervasive, but like he said with careful shemira and the proper tools, that too can be dealt with.

Good luck
Eli

PS although thonking about it many of the tools are rue same. And shemira is always critical.

Well it happened again in accordance with my above post.
Strugglingtomakeit wrote:


I Resolve to not go on GYE at night, It has shown me that i am more likely to fall after talking about my lust, wants, and desires. And the fact that its night time no ones around not to see me or hear what im doing, no one to walk in on me. No one no wear will know BUT me, or at least thats what it feels like at that moment

Strugglingtomakeit wrote:


WW

In terms of the issue about GYE bringing up lust, i think that you made a very appropriate resolve. Reason being that swearing off GYE would probably not be a good idea, even if GYE brings up lust. Think about a guy in SA or any group, he is going to hear a hell of a lot about sex, drugs, whatever it be and that will probably trigger him! So how could it be that so many people are sober through 12-step groups or helped through therapy or whatnot? What it comes down to is what you are gaining from GYE and trying to apply those tools to life. Eventually, when one is sober from lust, (although it's very hard to be completely sober from it), the triggers will effect less. For now however, maybe try to accept your current situation that you are still knee-deep in lust and try to gain what you can from this site. But i do commend the resolve you made, if something is too much a trigger then it's more harm then heal. Hatzlocha.

The pros on this site full heartidly disagree with novices like me. But here is my two senses.

A slip when after stopping to perform P&M for a serious amount of time you do P or M. But rather than falling back into the old pattern you let it be a one time thing and move on. (Re what a serious amount of time is, I would say longer than you have ever held back but ultimatly you must know yourself)

A fall, you hold back for a serious amount of time but then you go back to your old ways and don't stop after one mistake.

Basiclly I think as long as you are not falling back into your old habits and its just a one time thing thats a slip

WELCOME! Recovery is a process. Sometimes a very slow one. Be patient. Try some of the tools. Share honestly with someone. Your sincere efforts will be rewarded, provided you are willing to do what has worked for others in recovery, and not necessarily what is comfortable, or even what makes sense to you.

You know how there is a button for an emergency turn off. Well sometimes i just like to look at the pictures,seeing the brains of a person or the insides of a leg that was blown off is fascinating. and yes most of the time these pictures don't turn me off yet they make me happy. To tell me there is something wrong with me because these pics not only do not disgust me, but because i get enjoyment out of them is Wrong. And why do they say that's whats in your porn star friends. Don't they know that's whats inside everyone. And whats with sending a picture of a open body and saying all that yucky stuff, it's very fascinating stuff.












P.S. I'm an EMT

Our fascination with the human body can take many forms.
Not all of them are unhealthy.
As MBJ pointed out, our obsession is unhealthy.