HI every body!
I need to start my first step...
Thas it for now...

"We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics
(lust-a-holics). This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed " (big book,p.30).


So Appearance please answer with a yes or no.

Do you concede to your innermost self that you are a lustaholic ?

If your answer is Yes , you just did the first step.

if only it were so simple

I just went to a recovery conference with harvey and nancy and harvey said that very few are completely willing to have every ounce of lust removed from them. He said many people are completely willing to have the forms of sex be removed (at least one that constitutes a loss of sobriety) but this is a program about lust. so basically it's not too easy

Shlomo24 wrote:
I relate to that. Just can't give up my drug.

Appearance, you've been here before, if I recall. Stick around this time. Or don't. Whatever's good for you.
Welcome back, regardless.

newaction wrote:


Geez!
It takes us about several weeks goin' thru the first step.
Yelamdeinu Rabbeinu - what da hell are we doin' wrong?

You tell me what da hell is wrong with what i posted ??
Is it a lie ? Does it contradict a truth ??
I honestly dont see the fuss .

The truth is if you or anybody can answer honestly yes to that question
he did step one. Not everything has to be long and complicated.
The fellow wanted to do step one , i just presented it in a truthful, direct and simple way. Something wrong with that ?

I think they are just pointing out, perhaps too provocatively, that sometimes just "saying" yes is not necessarily the same as tuly beleiving and accepting it. I "knew" for a long time that I could not stop on my own, but it was entirely different when I wrote out my entire acting out history (as much as I could remember) and shared it on dov's 12 step phone call.

Well i knew that what i wrote i did it "provocatively".

I said concede in your innermost self

There is a lesson also in what i wrote. And a big one. Sometimes thinking and planning and speculating about doing a step can paralyze the person. Appearance is smart and truthful enough as not just to throw a yes.
Everybody here was caught by surprise but if you look at the big picture , Hillel was much more heroic than me when he taught the whole of 613 mitzvot to a goy standing on one foot, with just five or six words.

newaction wrote:


I didn't think i was bein' provocative, but if I was, i apologize; it was not my intention.

I like cuttin' to the chase. That is why on our call, we don't go off on tangents and we stick to the script and the task at hand.

That bein' said, i don't think at all that it is as simple as you make it. Many people don't even know what a lustaholic is. The first step is about a life bein' unmanageable. It is about powerlessness. It is surrenderin'. And more as well.

So while simplicity is good and respected, I don't think the affirmative answer to your question (which I have answered yes to many a time) allows one to 'graduate' to step two.

newaction wrote:

And when Hillel taught a few letters, the guy didn't have a clue the next day if he knew them correctly

cordnoy wrote:


This is Appearance's thread , no need to relate it to your conference call.




Think again and ask around that is all i can say.Hatzlacha

markz wrote:


Where did you get this ? In my gemarah it says that the next day he questioned Hillel on why is he teaching it backwards from yesterday's lesson.So he learned his lesson pretty well.


Let me enlighten you with your permission. in the mid 1940's and 50's and even later , the rate of sobriety from AA meetings reached and outstanding 75%-90%. Nothing as close as to today's rate of success. Which is by the way pretty low. In those times they had a beginner's program in which they will finish all 12 steps in four one hour sessions, that means once a month. You can read it yourself in "Back to basics" from Wally P.

The 12 steps and their spirituality is a work of a lifetime.
But "על פי עיקר הדין" If you can answer an honest and truthful "yes" to the above posted question , you did step one. No need to resist this simple fact.

I wish you Hatzlacha in your journey whether you like my answer or not.

newaction wrote:


The point was mentioned to show that I agree with you that "less talk" is a preferable option.

Regarding asking around, that is what I do the entire day.

My apologies again, but we are at the point of agreeing to disagree.

B'hatzlachah

No problema Cordnoy and no need to apologize .We are good.Hatzlacha.