Hello!

I will be here to tell you that I feel tired all the way to recovery.
I know GYE (on another forum) for 2 years and I never could get get to challenge 90 days.
Once a month I "need" fall.
Someone tell me, here in the past, that I need not satisfy the challenge of the 90, I just need to forget about it completely, but now I know the challenge and I can not take it off my mind.
I just can not!
When I feel empty inside I need to act, this being part of my life.
I honestly feel not have goal in life: one day I start something and another day I do something else. One day I want to be close to Hashem and another day I do not care what they want, just get away from him.
The truth is that when I stay close to him I feel good. Talk to him and ask for his help.
I often help fellow GYE tips, and I realize that I do not get these tips on myself, just when the desire strikes me.
For example. I say to a friend that he need to ask someone for help when he felt the desire to act, then, I myself do not ask for help !!
This will be on Shabbat or at bedtime.
Does having an emergency service 24 hours a day?
Do Not.

I feel angry because someone remove me, a friend I have in the past here.
He think (someone I do not know) that I be bad influence on my young friend and he advised my friend to continue not talking to me.
I never do any harm to young!
He be for me like my little brother. He help me more than I ever thought, yet he much younger.
For this, I give up and wanting to leave GYE, and I do what I want. Yes, I find the very things for which I blame lifetime.
It took more than 15 years acting and I feel tired of trying to overcome this.
I feel like I will never be unsuccessful in anything in life since I have six, seven years.
Since childhood my parents having to invest much effort in my I move forward.
Honestly, I need to stop the action because Hashem did not let me do otherwise. He locked up to me I go to this path, the way it is.
I know that the goal in life is to be close to Hashem and fulfill their מצוות, but I want to approach him to leave the act but not to be "completely" frum. Ie leave what little I have עולם הזה. This be possible?

I feel very lonely all the way to recovery.
I see almost no support. Not having seen someone ask me, I'm always the one to ask others like them to be. Why?
Did I annoy them with my comments and they do not want to know about me anything?
They are not interested in recovery?
Be possible for someone to GYE be your friend?
Someone to love you heart?

Thanks for listening.

Feeling rejected can hurt so much. It strikes deep within us at our very core. But know that here on gye there's a whole group of people who are deeply concerned for you. Please don't give up! You can do it!

Thanks for the support Shomer Bro.
In the real world I be crazy to belong to GYE.
"That perhaps you can not upload your pants and stop?"
It is something that my wife ask me.
As easy as you do this !!
Or for example she ask "when was the last time?" And I could not tell her the truth. She did not understand my problem.
Last week I try to "go further" to sink myself in addition.
And this I do for anger took me to this great young partner.
I know I look like a crying baby because he terminate his favorite toy, maybe I'm a baby ...
What if this hurt me?

But you know something?
I never can do it without feeling guilty about what I do ...
Once I know that being אסור action, I do not feel good.
So I say that Hashem "take" to recovery. I want or not. He just does not give me another option.

I want to ask.
How you do when the desire to attack you?
What to do if being midnight?
What to do if no one is available to help then?

Welcome back.
We used to chat so long ago; then you disappeared.
It is sad to see you hurtin' like this.
Stick around here.
Many people here to help.
When the urge hits, we try to use the tools we have acquired.
Will satisfyin' the urge help anythin'?
What is causin' it?
we don't wanna fight; we wanna live.
We hope to see you around more.

b'hatzlachah

Welcome home!

Hatzlacha!

Hi.
It's true. Before I was spoke with you.
in all this time a lot things are happened.

I was look for help in different places.
I meet a virtual people here and there. For help.

In all thiis time, I've had successes and failures.
And i invested effort and time for recovery.

And you know something? I feel happy that BH in recent times I have more achievements that falls.
Over time, I've overcome a lot.

My problem. I'm not constantly on the things that I start.
I usually leave things half done.
The internet teach me that way.
I spend my free time in hobby.
I need to make a work plan and work on that plan.

Stop to MZL is not the purpose, but I need to change completely my life! It is not easy to convince me to take this hard step.

I recently read that a person unmet needs to "search" in others what he felt that he missed, you know about what I mean.
And then to feel completely.
Not for the eigenvalue (self-esteem), but for what it's people.
One way to complete the self-identity.
I discovered that a person believes in your self to be somebody, but it is just the opposite.
he show to others a different face, how he perceives himself.

You ask me. Why i acting out?
Satisfy that desire is for me a way to escape reality.
Indeed this does not help solve anything but be a way to vent.

We'll.
What I will do?
do again the שבואה. This it help me a lot.
In fact, I already have renewed at this time.

Thank You

Appearance wrote:


It is an escape for many of the people that show up here and it was for myself as well.
I slowly learned to deal with the things that I needed to escape from.
I am not always successful but at least I have become more aware of myself and what is bothering me.
When lust starts to attack me, instead of running to the computer or the bathroom as I used to, I now think in terms of what are the issues that are leading me to lust and try to deal with the emotions at the source.
I wish you much success in your efforts. Stick around and get to know the guys on the forum. They can be a lot of help.

Appearance,

thanks for the share again and the effort it takes you to write your posts.

If taking the oath works, then fine, but please....read one of the books, the white book, the 12 steps, and search out where there are meetings in your area. It can be a big help to your self esteem.

Cordnoy.
I do not know if I want to go to a meeting of 12 steps.
1.-I need time, I think I not have ...
2. I do not want a mixed group.
3. I do not know if I can feel confident with the Goyim.
4. In fact, I've already read 2 times the Big book ...

What you recommend me?

From all our interactions, I suggest you do go.
Most are not mixed.
If recovery is important to you, you will find the time.
as your wife knows some, she will encourage you eventually.
It is life changin'!

It is not an easy step for me.
I´m Curious. how I have to look for these meetings?

SA meetings

Hello!

Today was a rough day for me.
In the morning I started acting and I stopped before I finish.
In the afternoon I got rid of a dangerous toy, I had no intention of throwing it, but I know he will not let me recover.
The question is, what it's worth? anything can be to me a dangerous toy.
And I'm sure you understand me.

the oath stopped me for fear of having to serve the sentence.
Perhaps, even I want the expiration of the period ...

Honestly, I know that some other day, I need to act, I can think of getting another type of toy.

for now I'm sober.

Thank You!

all we can do is concentrate on the "now."

there will always be another toy.

Oath's will eventually run out and expire as well.

The change needs to be within.

b'hatzlachah

is difficult what you say ... But it's true ...