Shlomo24 wrote on 30 Nov 2016 03:56:

sorry, gye phone not lettin' me type.
i was gonna do the entire thin' in smileys, but it takes way too long.

"Fixed That For You," said Gevurah

I figured. It won't let me quote now for some reason, but BRO! I loved those smiley's. Thanks for that!

Yeah Cords, blame it on the phone. We all know that it's just an excuse to up your post count 

Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 30 Nov 2016 04:13:

Hell, it makes my thread longer. KUTGW Cords.

BTW, I know that I'm on GYE too much because whenever I write the word "cords" on my phone, my keyboard automatically capitalizes it. Ex: iPhone Cords.

Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 30 Nov 2016 04:13:

if i'd wanna up my post count, i'd just type "test" in the box, post it and delete it, like i have seen here plenty a time.
Don't forget, i can see deleted posts as well.

cordnoy wrote on 30 Nov 2016 04:16:

Hmmm. Some interesting strategies here...

Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 30 Nov 2016 03:35:

NIFTY

There are so many people that I love on this forum. Aight, I got to go to bed. 5:30 wake up time! Night ya'll.

Shlomo24 wrote on 30 Nov 2016 04:28:

G'night.

Test

stillgoing wrote on 30 Nov 2016 15:34:

אפשר לברורי

I want to preface this by saying that I don't feel an obligation to share this with the crew, rather I want to share this:

I realized I might  be an alcoholic. The last time I got drunk I ended up in the hospital. I drove tipsy a couple weeks ago (which is really shameful for me to admit). When I'm drunk my sexual sobriety is also at risk. I am fearing Purim already, it's like an impending sense of doom over my head. There are a lot of other details involved here also. However, I don't have the unmanageability of alcoholism like I do with lust. I don't have the craving. Needless to say, however, at an AA meeting that I went to this morning (it's commonplace for me to go to AA meetings) I said "I'm Shlomo and I'm an addict and I'm a potential alcoholic." Those words were very hard for me to say. I was sharing with another addict/alcoholic friend and and I started crying as I was talking about the topic. I don't know what that means, but it probably means something. During that talk, I got the same feeling as I got when I first joined SA. I was thinking "Do I really want to give this up?" I also had breakfast with a 3rd friend who is an addict/alcoholic and we talked a lot about this topic. We discussed if this is merely a behavior that I should avoid for my sexual sobriety to progress, like I do with HALT, or if it's an actual manifestation of my disease called addiction. I don't know. 

I wanted to share this because this is something that only happened in recovery. While for whatever reason I am putting this thought process on the back burner for now, it is still a gift of recovery. There's no way I would have came to this realization without my advances in recovery and program. I'm getting to know myself on an entirely new level.

Another interesting aspect of this is the feeling of being a rookie all over again. I was at an SA meeting last week and a sober alcoholic was in attendance. It was one of his first meetings. I could sense he had sobriety, and I was right, as he was the speaker of an AA meeting a couple days later. I remember thinking, "How is that possible?" How could someone be working the 12-steps of brutal honesty and not realize right away that their sexual behavior is making their life unmanageable? It didn't make any sense to me. But here I am, in exactly the same position, albeit reversed. I don't know the first thing about being an alcoholic and working an AA program, even though I have been in SA for over 2 years. I feel like a complete newcomer to this, and it's kind of scary. Some of the same diseased attitudes of rationalization and fear and overthinking, which I had made so much progress in my SA program, are back at square one in regards to my (maybe) alcoholic tendencies. For example, "It's just porn, it's not acting out" is "It's just a beer, I'm not getting drunk." Also the fear of giving up drinking is quite comparable to the fear of giving up lust in all forms. I have given up lust in all forms! I will have none of it! Am I perfect? Far from it. But I have made a decision to devote my life to my Higher Power and that includes giving up all lust. That might include alcohol but I honestly don't know now. I am leaning to the fact that I'm actually an alcoholic but time will tell and I'll deal with this when I need to, which thank God isn't right now.

Bomb. Dropped.

But it's good you have a good background in 12 steps already. Rabbi Twerski explains the program as an electric food processor. It has many attachments. So for sexual addiction you need the SA or SAA attachment. For alcohol you need the AA attachment. One won't work for the other. But the yesod is the same. All driven by the same power.

Try not to let your frum Yezter Hora get the better of you. If you have a sense of control and you KNOW Purim is going to ruin you, then to hell with all the halochas. Take a nap and there you go.

Hatzlocha. It seems your wall of defense is being attacked by many sides. We're here for you brother.

Singularity wrote on 14 Dec 2016 07:31:

Power. With a capital P. You already know how to use It (Him). You have the tools, you have the support framework, both in the groups and here. IY"H you will make progress on this too. 

Yes Tou Can!

Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 14 Dec 2016 11:50:

Wow. Blast from the past.