Shlomo, just by coming here and reporting you're already on the way back up. The game's not over till you walk off the field. 

FSKOMT!!

Shlomo, if you binge - i'm done.
You're an inspiration to me.

What's done is done, now it's surrender time, and there's never been a betterday to grow then today.

I saw this great signature on someone's thread.


Don't Worry! BE HAPPY!

"I can't do it, God can help." 

"Everything I want is on the other side of fear."  
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery"- Justin Timberlake 

Feel free to email me at iam24zman@gmail.com.

 After a long journey, I have become at peace with my lust for men. If you would like to discuss it I am available. 

"God: Please take all of me, every single inch of me. Abandon my selfish will completely and instill me with your spirituality so I can do your will."
 

stillgoing wrote on 15 May 2016 13:37:

If I may say it in different terms 

There's a group of similar (although different) truckers hauling along the highway at the same mile point (although in different lanes). 
When one truck blows its tires (as I wrote on the previous page) each of us feel as though "My truck broke down"

Trucks aren't easy to repair and if we need a Tow, we await the captain to blow his horn

Shlomo24 wrote on 15 May 2016 13:02:

Thanks for the share.
That is positive.
Now, let's do His will.
If we can't, let's pray for willingness.

Amen.

Shlomo24 wrote on 09 May 2016 19:33:

What do you worried she will accept? There is some things it is better that wife should not know because it only will make her upset. Then you have to make choice what is more important - be honest -or make her happy. If she cooks terrible food? You gonna be honest and make her upset?


 I am not sure how your family like. But maybe you are "only child" and this is why you thinking "me always". BH I have many brothers and sisters and learn to put others first with family at home before I got married. Maybe you have practice with your parents? When your parents ask for you to do something you will do it because it makes them happy. In marriage you will learn quickly wife happiness = your happiness. There is not much room to be selfish especially when you will have children iy"h.


There is something I learn recently . It is "intrinsic" and "extrinsic" motivation. If you motivation for something is by your own need you will be greater to succeed. Dating can be nervous at first. But when you meet right girl  you can be friends with it will not be so nervous.

 

I'm not going to be posting much here for the time being, I figured I may as well say what happened: I got a spam email that I thought wasn't necessarily spam. I checked it out and it turned to be a dating site. I told myself that, "I'm just going to see who the gay people are in my area." Well, not going into the gory details, don't want to give any ideas or to trigger people, but I continued on a very addictive path, crossing red lines gradually. Eventually I masturbated, because of a profile picture I saw on another hookup app. After I masturbated I felt so empty inside that I needed to act out with another guy. I needed that feeling of connection. I messaged the triggering guy and I went over to his place and we acted out. Sorry if that was too explicit. 

I don't want to think too much about my acting out, but what I take out from this is that it is truly a ODAAT program and yesterday's sobriety has nothing to do with today. If I ever had any doubts about my addiction, they're gone. I hadn't touched myself in 9 months, but once I took one serious action it was all over. 5 hours after that moment of insanity I was lying in bed with a man who I don't even know his name. I went from 0 to 1000 is a very short period of time.

Shlomo, We love you.

We are here.
Stay strong.
I'm sure your sponsor will help you.
You have what it takes.

(By the way, I don't think that is what's meant by ODAAT.)

B'hatzlachah

Shlomo, you have helped quite a few people here, and I am among them. I know that I love you and I am sure that many people here do as well.



I know the sinking feeling and the shame that come with acting out after a long period of sobriety. I know the feeling that comes when Failure topples Success and then replaces the glowing elation that Success once stoked with mocking depression.



I know that your defenses are all but paralyzed and that you are numb with pain.



Shlomo, no one forced you to post the story of this fall. The fact that you chose to post it is a positive action; a move in the right direction. Please please don't let go.



You are at a crossroads. When you acted out you were as well, and you chose poorly. That is not a reason you should choose poorly now.



When I was in your shoes I practised self-control 15 minutes at a time; you might remember when I discussed that with you. I snapped my fingers to formalize a neder ( that I knew beyond any doubt that I could keep), and stayed sober a quarter of an hour at a time.



Please. We love you.

Shlomo,

Sorry for your fall; I know it's painful. But why won't you post? Every guy who writes that they'll be posting less comes back at a later period of time and says that they shouldn't have stopped posting completely.

So many people here love you, and as a spectator I've watched you continue to mature, grow, and gain self-confidence. Stick around with your friends unless you have a better plan. 

Workingguy wrote on 16 May 2016 03:25:

Right now I'm going to try to focus on myself and not others. I need to take care of myself first and foremost. Iy"h I will be back to what I was regularly, but I'm going to post less for the time being.

Shlomo24 wrote on 16 May 2016 00:06:

Please be careful. Many people on GYE love you. You have family that love you. It is very dangerous. This helps me to never act out. Maybe also it will help you
CDC reports one in four homosexuals national average have HIV.
in New York City is above national average. 30% homosexuals have HIV.
Please be careful. It is dangerous lifestyle choice

 

Hi Shlomo,

You've grown tremendously over the course of 9 months. You are not the same person you were before that time, and you didn't lose any of it. Even with this fall, you've learned a lot about yourself, so you've gained even from that. You will get back up, b'ezras Hashem, and continue on living life. 

We're here for you!

Shlomo - Rooting for you.....always