Hi Elya. Good to see you back.

Yo! Eyeball!

I guess that's what happens when I started to be too proud of what I'd done.

Trying to not get pulled too far underwater.

Hey Ninja man! How ya doing? If you are getting pulled under some water, there are plenty who can't pull you out. So don't worry.

Wait a minute...! Huh?

Well, there are plenty who can't pull you out, so it'll be fine.

Wait a cotton-picking minute, there...! Whah? (a kung fu word, I believe)

Last time, OK:

There is a G-d Who can pull you out if you want Him to!

Phew! That's better!

And it appears that he does not pull people out without two conditions being met:

1- we want to give up whatever stuff (our lust) we are presently hanging onto to stay afloat...demonstrated by letting it go;

and

2- we actually let Him shlep us far away from it, to a new place where the stuff we were dying to hang on to is out of our reach and we do not even want it.

That #2 is the scariest. Real change scares the hell put of normal people...and even more out of abnormal people. What every fibre of our being has been screaming to us we need more of will not even be looked up to by us for today?

It's utter sacrilege.

Hey, nice to have you back!

How was that for a splash in a cold mikvah?

Dov wrote:


no comment necessary; another classic!!!!

Thank you Dov...a lot of truth in there.

Lots of stuff going on in my life, a lot of stress...making my attempts to stay clean and remember what's really important, a bit more difficult.

I've also not been on for a while, because my wife saw some of my posts and as soon as she saw a word about struggling, she started panicking...and unfortunately, explaining doesn't always help.

But I think if I remember to close the GYE tab when I'm done, this is a healthy thing to do.

Not sure what "this" is, but...yeah. Something.

I hear you. I had similar issues, when I'd mention filtering the computer, my wife would get all nervous. Then she caught me, and after things got worse, they got much better B"H. Hang in there and KOT!

Thanks - it's been a long time since someone encouraged me to keep on trucking! Thanks for the smile!

Hey welcome back!!!!
Hatzlacha and KOMT!!!

Thank you, brother. It's good to be back. I guess I always know this, but being in touch with people is essential. Whether I'm feeling good about life in general, and positive, or not. And whether I'm doing well in recovery, or not.

I am glad I bumped this thread.
B"H.

b'hatzlachah

It's good to have you...I was feeling restless and figured that coming by and posting would be a good idea. 1) Better than a lot of other options, and 2) Gives me a chance to stop for a minute and REALIZE that I'm feeling restless, and try to just accept that fact for a moment.

Aaaand...back again. Wife just found out what I've been doing, and need to make some serious changes. 

One is being involved here. 

God, I'm stupid. Maybe that's the first lesson.

But what I mean is that it's never been driven home this hard than looking back right now...realizing so clearly that nothing I did...searching online, chatting with women...it wasn't going to fill the whole, what I felt was missing. Loneliness, feeling empty, angry...it wasn't going to change any of that. DEFINITELY wasn't going to help or improve anything, and only going to make it easier for me to ignore the issues, easier to NOT focus on the things that needed focusing on.

Welcome back!! 

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