So it doesn't "sound" like your tape recorder is broken yet

When it really breaks is when the music will begin 

Welcome back,

WeI are here if you need us.

Wow, you are so brave to write this. It's funny, because a dump from a frum woman also led me back here after a while away. I know how hard the dump can be, but the truth is it's a blessing from Hashem because He saves us from ourselves. Hashem is always out there protecting us. So the dump may lead us to the dumps, but it's really the thing that saves us. And so, like you, I'm back as well and I'm also hoping this time will be the last time.

Welcome back.

jewishvalues613 wrote on 15 Dec 2016 21:03:

Perhaps, but is it really?

What would have happened if we went allI the way? There's a chance that would have led us here. And many other scenarios as well.

Are they all blessings?

Perhaps.

Bottom line is we are here now, so what are we gonna do about it?

Cords,

I'll defintley second you on the brace aspect. Like is it brave or am I just coming here when depressed and kind of "using" GYE without really getting clean.

Its a tough point that I ponder.

waydown wrote on 15 Dec 2016 22:44:

Are you asking for my opinion?

Welcome back.

I hope you get all the support you need.

Just wondering, what do you make of this:

www.slaafws.org/download/core-files/Characteristics-of-Sex-Love-Addiction.pdf 

(No pressure but check out the second link in my signature if you feel so inclined).

Cords,

So there is a part two. After getting dumped she reached out to me again. It came out that we were both struggling with the same issue. We liked each others personality its was simply the good verse the bad. This time thanks to your mussar I took the courage to say goodbye and drop the number. This was not out of depression this time.

 As opposed to butterflies in my stomach. (when scumming to temptation its scary deep inside ) ​my overall feeling is yes a feeling of serenity. As I sit by my friday night seuda I think what it would be like if I gave in to my temptation? Obviously what would a friday night look like if I got caught. But more so how can I face my wife and children with a smile when deep inside I am doing things counter to them. However, I will be honest that at times the temptation still pulls at me and makes me dream that perhaps I should erroneously pursue my fun escapade. But I must say the feeling of serenity is far greater. (Just chalking over my emotions.)

Serenity sounds like the way to go. 

Definitely agree with the 'scary' emotion. The image that comes to mind is, flying on a roller coaster with no safety bar. Which swing will be the one that will send me flying overboard to my death.

Those are some really deep issues and challenges. Your actions are inspiring. Keep going!

It's scary the levels of this addiction. I mean, I struggle with porn and masturbation but could never even imagine escalating to your level. Yes, I know addiction is progressive etc.
But the raw logistics of it all! I mean, I don't even have confidence to talk to girls, let alone get one to agree to an extra-marital affair! Unless on that level of addiction, you are given the "skillset" needed to get the job done! I don't know. Maybe you hop down from that level and may it be a distant memory.

It has been my feelin' and it is still is my feelin' (Although I may be wrong) that there is but only one level for all addicts. The difference in what people do lies in opportunity and the makeup of the individual characters.

Just kind of circling to cord's point although not exactly. I don;t have much of tavaia for porn and never did much. I always viewed that as too fake and it never resonated with me.

Waydown, what do you make of this:

www.slaafws.org/download/core-files/Characteristics-of-Sex-Love-Addiction.pdf