Welcome, Guest

Recovery mistakes to avoid- your experience
(0 viewing) 
A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.

TOPIC: Recovery mistakes to avoid- your experience 22817 Views

Re: Recovery mistakes to avoid- your experience 05 Apr 2016 02:21 #283541

  • GuideMe
  • OFFLINE
  • Junior Boarder
  • GYE & SA member
  • Posts: 38
  • Karma: 1
Recovery mistake: not talking to people. guys, it's hard, i know!
but talking to someone who is sober for a while on the phone, or even batter, face-to-face, (then you could see the light in he's eyes!) is great. they don't bite!
so email Dov (i think it's wequithiding@gmail.com) or... anyone else  and get things going!

Good luck!
 
English is not my native language (Hebrew is)
Sorry if there are any mistakes.
keep in touch!
Last Edit: 05 Apr 2016 03:25 by GuideMe.

Re: Recovery mistakes to avoid- your experience 05 Apr 2016 02:54 #283549

  • skeptical
  • OFFLINE
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 1118
  • Karma: 78
This is a great thread. Thanks for it!

A big mistake is complacency.

I went X amount of time without falling. I'm doing great, got this under control. Me, fall? I don't even have a desire for it anymore! Look, I'll even go to this website and you'll see that it has zero effect on me anymore...

hey, this looks interesting....

Re: Recovery mistakes to avoid- your experience 05 Apr 2016 23:37 #283655

  • mggsbms
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 676
  • Karma: 53
markz wrote on 09 Feb 2016 18:18:
Mistake #12 - convoluted tools
example one - clap


This was written 5 yr ago, and the guy apparently is still in the Mikva clapping and i won't say what else..


milehashem wrote:
Geshmock,

This is what I did.

The very second you get an urge to look at something, CLAP!

Clap your hands together. If the urge is still there, clap again. Harder.

Still there? Clap again. Still there? Clap!

Eventually, one of three things will happen:

The urge will pass. You win!

Someone will come into the room and say "What is all that noise? Are you okay?"
You will makeup some silly excuse for all that clapping, and you will be too embarrassed to continue sitting at the computer. You win!

Or, your hands will hurt so much from all that clapping, that you won't be able to use them for the aveirah..... .....and you win!

I'm up to 14 days, and with this technique, I know I'll get to 90.

By the way, after the first few days, you won't feel that overwhelming urge to go look, as often as you do now. It will still be there, but it will be less intense and less often.

Also - go to a mikvah, preferably a COLD one. You can walk in slowly if you want to, but eventually force yourself to toivel completely into the cold mikvah. A cold mikvah has vast spiritual benefits, specifically related to this aveirah, that are too complex to explain in this forum. (Ask any mekubal, he'll tell you the same)

Try to stay under the water for a few seconds , making sure that no part of your body is touching the floor or walls.

Get yourself to a mikvah as often as possible, but at the very least every erev shabbos and yom tov. Natural lakes as well as the ocean are also kosher mikvaos.

You can do it! I believe in you!




This is too funny. I haven't laughed so much in a while. 
Aka -  Mischadeish075 Email mischadeish075@gmail.com

Re: Recovery mistakes to avoid- your experience 06 Apr 2016 00:10 #283659

  • peloni almoni
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • אשר אנכי מצוך היום - there is only today
  • Posts: 636
  • Karma: 47
as much as i enjoy public hangings, if this guy milehashem resurfaces, he might really feel hurt that he is being treated like this, and it might even impede his clapping recovery.
i know how lousy i would feel if someone made an effigy of a serious post that i wrote...
and besides, isnt the motto: whatever works?
i'm just saying.
Have a corny day ... and if you do have other plans, change 'em!!
peloni_almoni@hotmail.com

None of us has it all together, but together, we have it all.

we always put our sobriety before our ego -
מוטב שאקרא שוטה כל ימי ואל אהיה רשע שעה אחת לפני המקום

לפעולות אדם בדבר שפתיך אני שמרתי אורחות פריץ. תמוך אשורי במעגלותיך בל נמוטו פעמי. תהלים יז
__________________________________________________________
LINKS:
- SOLUTIONS: WHERE DO I FIT IN TO GYE
- DOWNLOAD GYE HANDBOOK & READ AT LEAST TWICE
- OVERDOSE OF DOV: READING MATERIAL TO KEEP ME SANE
- THE BEST THREAD ON THE FORUM; READ, POST, AND HAVE A GREAT TIME
 

Re: Recovery mistakes to avoid- your experience 06 Apr 2016 00:15 #283661

  • Markz
  • NOW ONLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 8230
  • Karma: 426
14 days isn't counted as works

My main issue is that this heilige guy was recommending a tool to someone else that he himself could not provide proof of authenticity for

This is another recovery mistake to be avoided; To suggest an out of the box solution without verifying if there's a rabbit in there or not
My Story---------Dov Quotes




FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING
Click HERE to checkout;
100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more...
• Awesome Threads Saved for You
• Cast Your Vote

GYE Plenty Solutions
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk

➣ Nice Trucking Story

Re: Recovery mistakes to avoid- your experience 06 Apr 2016 00:29 #283664

  • skeptical
  • OFFLINE
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 1118
  • Karma: 78
I have heard psychologists recommend similar strategies to help change behavior.

Re: Recovery mistakes to avoid- your experience 06 Apr 2016 00:30 #283665

  • gevura shebyesod
  • Current streak: 1248 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 4176
  • Karma: 505
I think this method is called "wrinkled-knuckling". 
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."
"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."
- General Grant


My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: Recovery mistakes to avoid- your experience 06 Apr 2016 00:40 #283666

  • peloni almoni
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • אשר אנכי מצוך היום - there is only today
  • Posts: 636
  • Karma: 47
Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 06 Apr 2016 00:30:
I think this method is called "wrinkled-knuckling". 

blue-balling, wrinkled-knuckling, aren't you full of knowledge today, mr. professor! 

all i know is that i read it and i thought "wow, it sucks to be him right now"

these last 2 posts i put up were in the blessed memory of our mom friend SERENITY
המבין יבין
Have a corny day ... and if you do have other plans, change 'em!!
peloni_almoni@hotmail.com

None of us has it all together, but together, we have it all.

we always put our sobriety before our ego -
מוטב שאקרא שוטה כל ימי ואל אהיה רשע שעה אחת לפני המקום

לפעולות אדם בדבר שפתיך אני שמרתי אורחות פריץ. תמוך אשורי במעגלותיך בל נמוטו פעמי. תהלים יז
__________________________________________________________
LINKS:
- SOLUTIONS: WHERE DO I FIT IN TO GYE
- DOWNLOAD GYE HANDBOOK & READ AT LEAST TWICE
- OVERDOSE OF DOV: READING MATERIAL TO KEEP ME SANE
- THE BEST THREAD ON THE FORUM; READ, POST, AND HAVE A GREAT TIME
 
Last Edit: 06 Apr 2016 00:40 by peloni almoni.

Re: Recovery mistakes to avoid- your experience 06 Apr 2016 03:47 #283714

  • goodchange613
  • Current streak: 16 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Expert Boarder
  • Posts: 98
  • Karma: 9
A mistake might be not dealing with the real issues in your life and focusing nonstop on just "beating" the urge and getting a long streak (obviously this is for people who have issues in their life that are partially the reason for them acting out and not for true addicts)
It's important to just man up and DEAL with the tough things that need to be done.

Re: Recovery mistakes to avoid- your experience 06 Apr 2016 04:19 #283725

  • peloni almoni
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • אשר אנכי מצוך היום - there is only today
  • Posts: 636
  • Karma: 47
mistake # ____

thou shalt not get thyself emotionally over-invested hither-to-fore in gye forum chitter chatter that bears little or no significance on thy life. if thy brethren be quarreling in the abouts of the cost of tea in china and that not be of particular importance to thou, get not emotionally invested. if thy neighbor or the stranger who dwelt amongeth thou doth quarrel with thou, and even if reach does he his hand and click does he upon, god forbid, negative karma for thou, thou shalt not take it too seriously. 
for whilst one is in skirmish with his self to stayeth clean, need does he all of his wits to be about him. henceforth, wearing down thyself over nonsensical bull is nonsensical in essence.
may the grace of the lord enable thou to moveth forward in a trucking fashion duly fit for a monster. in his blessed name. amen.
Have a corny day ... and if you do have other plans, change 'em!!
peloni_almoni@hotmail.com

None of us has it all together, but together, we have it all.

we always put our sobriety before our ego -
מוטב שאקרא שוטה כל ימי ואל אהיה רשע שעה אחת לפני המקום

לפעולות אדם בדבר שפתיך אני שמרתי אורחות פריץ. תמוך אשורי במעגלותיך בל נמוטו פעמי. תהלים יז
__________________________________________________________
LINKS:
- SOLUTIONS: WHERE DO I FIT IN TO GYE
- DOWNLOAD GYE HANDBOOK & READ AT LEAST TWICE
- OVERDOSE OF DOV: READING MATERIAL TO KEEP ME SANE
- THE BEST THREAD ON THE FORUM; READ, POST, AND HAVE A GREAT TIME
 

Re: Recovery mistakes to avoid- your experience 06 Apr 2016 04:29 #283731

  • Markz
  • NOW ONLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 8230
  • Karma: 426
Bad mistake Joseph

ROTFL









i cant
stop
laughing


Help
My Story---------Dov Quotes




FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING
Click HERE to checkout;
100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more...
• Awesome Threads Saved for You
• Cast Your Vote

GYE Plenty Solutions
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk

➣ Nice Trucking Story
Last Edit: 06 Apr 2016 04:30 by Markz.

Re: Recovery mistakes to avoid- your experience 06 Apr 2016 04:33 #283733

  • peloni almoni
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • אשר אנכי מצוך היום - there is only today
  • Posts: 636
  • Karma: 47
...
Have a corny day ... and if you do have other plans, change 'em!!
peloni_almoni@hotmail.com

None of us has it all together, but together, we have it all.

we always put our sobriety before our ego -
מוטב שאקרא שוטה כל ימי ואל אהיה רשע שעה אחת לפני המקום

לפעולות אדם בדבר שפתיך אני שמרתי אורחות פריץ. תמוך אשורי במעגלותיך בל נמוטו פעמי. תהלים יז
__________________________________________________________
LINKS:
- SOLUTIONS: WHERE DO I FIT IN TO GYE
- DOWNLOAD GYE HANDBOOK & READ AT LEAST TWICE
- OVERDOSE OF DOV: READING MATERIAL TO KEEP ME SANE
- THE BEST THREAD ON THE FORUM; READ, POST, AND HAVE A GREAT TIME
 
Last Edit: 06 Apr 2016 12:15 by peloni almoni.

Re: Recovery mistakes to avoid- your experience 06 Apr 2016 04:34 #283734

  • cordnoy
  • OFFLINE
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 12063
  • Karma: 652
Stayin' under the water for 20 or 30 seconds also has been known to prevent future actin' out.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1Page 2Page 3Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Recovery mistakes to avoid- your experience 06 Apr 2016 06:15 #283767

  • shlomo24
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 2213
  • Karma: 135
cordnoy wrote on 06 Apr 2016 04:34:
Stayin' under the water for 20 or 30 seconds also has been known to prevent future actin' out.

I heard jumping off a cliff also helps...
If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. 

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Re: Recovery mistakes to avoid- your experience 06 Apr 2016 06:15 #283768

  • shlomo24
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 2213
  • Karma: 135
Recovery mistake for me: I'm not unique... Just another drunk.
Also, I don't know the answers.
Also, as an addict, therapy won't keep me sober.
Also, i need to bring the lust to the light.
Also, I can't keep myself sober.
Also, sobriety comes first.
If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. 

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com
Last Edit: 06 Apr 2016 06:18 by shlomo24.
Time to create page: 0.79 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes