The Library

I just read a Medrash today that asks, "Why does Hashem forgive the sins of the Yidden and not those of the goyim?" Answers the Medrash, that when a goy sins it's because he wants to throw off the yoke of Heaven. But when a Yid sins, it's only out of taavah or laziness, b...

Baal Shem Tov (the original below) advises us about a change of paradigm when we are triggered by an object of our lust. Contemplate about the source of this person's beauty: Isn't it G-d Himself? And if so, why settle for a mere part (chelek), why lust after an external ...

"Join us on Monday, July 10th and all week for our Launch into the Twelve Steps - Chapter 5 - How it Works" “90% of the people who attend the Twelve Steps Meetings don't really understand the Twelve Steps!” Are you part of the 10% or the 90%?! It's not an exaggeratio...

How Does Pornography Negatively Affect Children? These are a few of the effects referenced and cited in the paper: Pornography exposure at these young ages often results in symptoms of anxiety and depression. Children also report feelings of disgust, shock, embarrassment...

The Midrash gives a mashal to a hunter who was pursuing a bird and the bird flew off and landed on a statue of the king. if he shoots an arrow it may damage the statue. if he throws a stone he would be guilty of stoning an image of the king and forfeit his life. So to, B...

ויחל העם לזנות אל בנות מואב “And the people began to commit harlotry with the daughters of Moab..” How did we FALL? We were so HOLY! Parashas Balak tells the story of Balaam, the Greatest Prophet of the Gentile Nations who was hired by King Balak of Moab. Balak w...

Triggers: The Why Matters In order how to understand how triggers work and how to avoid them, the larger question of the why a person is triggered must be addressed. A preoccupation with pornography might begin as just that--a preoccupation/bad habit--but it can easily mo...

A Spouse wrote: I am plagued by the thought that this is my fault because I gained weight. I know my husband wanted a slim person only and cares about my weight. As a bachur, he had this problem, which he thought would go away when he got married. He told me it did help b...

Yesterday, the internet was down at work. That means the techies come in and get to work.Till 48 days ago, I always got nervous when this happened. What if they start digging and find out all the stuff I saw? It may not be inappropriate websites but my boss would probably...

Duvid Chaim asks: It’s always been a frustration of mine and many many men I talk to - that the Gemaras don’t “seem” to address addictions. No frum struggler wants to feel like the Torah doesn’t understand his plight. If you or anyone else has some insights, please sha...

First and foremost the first step in the right direction for me was clarity. Clarity, sincerity, and honesty with myself. The breaking point of rock bottom. The looking in the mirror with shame, disgust, yet daring to search for my soul and beg for it to fight. Even that ...

זאת חקת התורה “This is THE DECREE of the Torah..” Will we ever know the answer? Parasha Chukas has been declared The Quintessential limit of Man’s understanding of G-d’s Ways. Sages have grappled for all of time to find some common sense logical way of explaining how ...

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Somewhere in our past life, we may have picked up the idea that it's not all right to ask for help, that asking for help would be a sign of weakness. Recovery calls for some basic changes in our thinking, and when we feel vulnerable is the best time to reach out and ask ...

I started to count the days a few months ago, but then my sponsor said that for me, the counting is too much of a pressure and I should take it just "one day at a time". So for a long time, it just said "Day 1" under my name on the 90-day chart. And I loved it that way. L...

I don’t think anyone wants to put their marriage in jeopardy. In fact, we’ve heard from several readers that the only reason they “allow” porn in their marriage is to try to save or enhance it. They don’t want to push their husband away by putting “unrealistic expectation...

Here's a milsa debidichusah. Today I was discussing with some friends about how many Chassidim don't say Tachnun on a Yartzeit of a "Tzadik Mefursam", and many times Chassidim will find the Yartzeit of a "Tzadik Mefursam" on every single day of the year. So I thought that...

Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler zt”l (Michtav Me’Eliyahu vol. 4) explains how it happened that a smart man like Korach acted so foolishly. What he says, applies to each of us as well - so listen carefully! He quotes Rav Hai Gaon (in his responsa), who brings the following story: A ...