Does my husband struggle because I gained weight?
A Spouse wrote:
I am plagued by the thought that this is my fault because I gained weight. I know my husband wanted a slim person only and cares about my weight. As a bachur, he had this problem, which he thought would go away when he got married. He told me it did help being married till I gained weight in pregnancy.
Many people who come to our website for help claim the same thing: that they are not attracted to their wives and feel they need to get it elsewhere. But I will let you in on a little secret: when someone gets addicted to these things, even the most beautiful woman is not enough for them.
For example, here's an excerpt from an e-mail we got from a frustrated spouse:
"... The situation is getting from worse to terrible. These days, my husband doesn't only look at women, but he also tries chatting them up, even when we are together. He starts joking around with them and even made a couple of inappropriate comments. I don't know what I have done to deserve this! I'm tall with an amazing figure, and I always make sure to look stunning for him (and tznius). Am I not good enough for him?? I once asked him, 'If I walked around one holiday with you in a very immodest way, would you only look at me!?' He replied, 'I would be looking at you and all the other women around.' I asked him to explain himself, and he said men always want new things!"
I suggest you watch the Fireproof movie together with your husband.
And try to get your husband to read these articles:
- I love my wife – But I’m not “IN LOVE” with her!
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A few days later she responded:
I wanted to thank you. I watched "Fireproof" with my husband and we really gained so much from it. We came to a place of understanding and he apologized so nicely. Tizku limitzvos. I am hoping he will want to look at the articles you sent before.