I can relate to the "out of YH clutches" relief.
Your strength despite hardships is inspiring!
ילכו מחיל אל חיל בעזרת השם
KOT!

www.torahanytime.com/lectures/391345

Wow! what a strong message coming across....

i want the oilem to know that you can learn from Alex, that although he's not having it easy (i would rather say he's having it tough) in other areas, he didn't abandon this mission, what i see sometimes people here think that after all I'm fighting the nisoyon from this generation, so i will for sure be showered with all the goodies, unfortunately you can't go in with that mindset because then you get so depressed and broken. you have to jump in knowing that this is what hashem wants and of course daven hard that things should get easier in other areas.

מזמור לתודה כי טוב השם
255 days of Tahara.

255 days ago I was in an entirely different place in life. I was thinking about 70 days and even that was a stretch. What changed?

255 days ago was in denial of the unnecessary hardships I was putting myself through, emotionally and spiritually. As some of the significant structures in my life fell apart, I discovered a new me. Being clean has been the unavoidable proof that I am not the weak loser my yetzer hara wants me to think I am. I have a very long way to go, and I have so much to uncover within me and to learn, but I have allowed myself to go where I would never have before - to taste emotional closeness with Hashem.
When @vehkam spoke about this it seemed so foreign to me, I had been there somewhat in the past and abandoned it due to being made to feel its wrong and dangerous. Hashem had compassion on me and pushed me towards Him in a way I couldn't ignore.

255 days ago I had friends, but none like the new ones I have made here. This is an incredibly high level group of individual from diverse backgrounds who are genuinely serious about life and God. That may be the hardest thing to find in this world.

255 days ago I didn't imagine giants the likes of @HHM and @vehkam existed. To me, their iron resolve and belief they display in themselves and their belief in others is an unavoidable call to action in every important area of life. 

255 days ago I was healthier, happier in marriage, employed and well paid, and an appreciated and significant part of a community.

Today I find myself and family facing some (BH not serious) health challenges, major marriage work, unemployment, and searching for a community.

But somehow, today I am infinitely happier. Today, I have much more bandwidth to enjoy and appreciate all the incredible blessings surrounding me. I have the capacity to connect to the gifts Hashem is constantly giving me, and to the fact that He seeks that I relate to Him.

The challenges have been coming thick and fast, and there have been some very dark moments (just take a look upthread). I feel that being clean has given me a huge boost in strength to face what's sent my way. 
עד הנה עזרונו רחמיך ולא עזבונו חסדיך, ואל תטשנו לנצח

Thank you everyone, KOT, Godspeed, Lechayim, and כתיבה וחתימה טובה!

maybe prepare another strong post to give us chizuk and you will benefit of it as well.

Yosef,

very deep... you sometimes think these Tzadikim don't have their nisyonos, we all have on different levels and when see something that we simple people can take a lesson from, it's something special.
like i remember the Rachmstrivka Rabbi z"l from BP, which although he was such an ish kodosh, but he was such a miser sefar by him doing the simple things he was m'cheiv us all push*ta people.

littleneshamale wrote on 10 Sep 2025 04:02:

Beautiful. Really, really beautiful.

Really.

This is teshuva. Not getting a high score on a test, but building a relationship. Through thick and thin. Good times and bad. Even when it hurts. A real relationship. 

Beautiful.

Good morning, guys, and thank you all!!

YitzchokM – I actually saw this post a while back, printed out some paragraphs, and keep them with me. Always ready.

Yosef – you’re always straight to the point. Somehow what you say just works… like you really get me.

And Kavey – a nap in the conference room? Alright, maybe at the age of 65.. Just kidding around, I really do appreciate your response!

And now… tomorrow is 50. I literally don’t know how to act! Friends, you all passed this milestone — what did you do? Did running through the streets help? I need some way to let this excitement out…

Dear Brothers, 
I'm having a really hard day, tried calling my mentor but he didn't pick up.

I was doing so good, but now the wave of bad feelings came crushing down at me.
I am trying, but I'm in need of a boost, chizuk, inspiration, anything.

[I thank all of you for any chizuk I got from you in the past, because otherwise I would have been long off the cliff]

Hey, keep going you’re on the right path!!

I know this is after the fact... but what about taking a nap in a conference room? Rooting for you!

There was a big Gadol in the middle east a few hundred years ago that used to wear a ring with the following אותיות engraved into it.

ג ז י

Everyone thought that its Kabbalistic שמות that work magic or some spooky Segulah or a mystical מלאך.

On his deathbed, his deciples asked him, "Our dear Rabbi, teach us the secret of your mystical ring, what does it mean?!"

He replied, "My dear talmidim, it is not Shaimos hakdoshim or mystical stuff, It stands for גם זה יעבור - "This too shall pass!," and that's the secret to a long and happy life!

Holy Ari! Stay strong!! THIS TOO SHALL PASS!!!!!

OTRBACKONTRACK wrote on 09 Sep 2025 15:24:

Your mindful approach and progress is inspiring.
The quoted line is something I feel too, but I think I push it out of my mind because I cant deal with it. It would be helpful if you could share what some of those steps are.

חזק ואמץ!

Day #26!!
I had a few urges today, and some old emotions came back up but with the help of Hashem, I was able to withstand them.
The fight is on, and it will continue until I return my soul to its Creator. Until then, I have a mission to accomplish and I want to be able to report back to the Sender that I fulfilled it.

This Friday, I will complete a full month in my current journey of freedom and holiness. Never in my wildest dreams did I think it would last this long, but life is full of surprises and here I am, Day #26, without even a minor setback.

"Discipline now, freedom later. Indulgence now, regret later."
"כי לא אחפץ במות המת נאם אדני"