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Holy In Jerusalem
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TOPIC: Holy In Jerusalem 17561 Views

Re: Holy In Jerusalem 06 Jan 2025 22:57 #428571

I would like to try a new tactic, I am not sure it's the right way to go but for me it may be:

I would like to split my Ruchniyus into two different entities. SSSL1 and SSSL2. Part 1 of me is anything related to Kedusha. Part 2 is all other things such as how much I learn a day, if I daven with a minyan, if I had a productive day etc.

The point of this is that right now part 2 of my Ruchniyus freaken sucks. I really am not doing good and I don't know what the long term plan is. Part 1 of me -in the moment- isn't either doing good, from porn to masturbation and staring on the streets (in a way I tell myself that it isn't visible to others that I am staring ). In the past I had good times in the battle of kedushah. But lately I practically gave up. I think a big reason for this was because my part 2 was horrible. This gave me a bad feeling about myslef and I therefore was ready to throw in the towel.

Moving forward I hope this tactic works. This way at the end of a Clean day I can look at the part 1 of me and say WOW! you did it! Without the negative self talk telling me "your proud of yourself? you haven't learned a word today".

As an end note, I don't know if this makes sense and if it will help me in the kedusha battle, but I am trying my luck. I am trying to psychologically trick myself and am hoping for the best.

Replies are welcome.

SSSL's Story (Google Doc)​ [You will need to request permission, which I'm happy to give.]
Holy In Jerusalem (My Thread)

Feel free to say hi or send some chizuk over @ stopsurvivingstartliving2024@gmail.com.
My google voice number got shut down, so I won't be able to receive or send messages from there.

Last Edit: 06 Jan 2025 22:57 by stopsurvivingstartliving.

Re: Holy In Jerusalem 06 Jan 2025 23:05 #428572

Okay my Major idea gave me the confidence to delete a Gmail account I would turn to the past few days as a pacifier. I am proud of SSSL1!

SSSL's Story (Google Doc)​ [You will need to request permission, which I'm happy to give.]
Holy In Jerusalem (My Thread)

Feel free to say hi or send some chizuk over @ stopsurvivingstartliving2024@gmail.com.
My google voice number got shut down, so I won't be able to receive or send messages from there.

Re: Holy In Jerusalem 07 Jan 2025 04:33 #428587

  • markz
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stopsurvivingstartliving wrote on 06 Jan 2025 22:57:
I would like to try a new tactic, I am not sure it's the right way to go but for me it may be:

I would like to split my Ruchniyus into two different entities. SSSL1 and SSSL2. Part 1 of me is anything related to Kedusha. Part 2 is all other things such as how much I learn a day, if I daven with a minyan, if I had a productive day etc.

The point of this is that right now part 2 of my Ruchniyus freaken sucks. I really am not doing good and I don't know what the long term plan is. Part 1 of me -in the moment- isn't either doing good, from porn to masturbation and staring on the streets (in a way I tell myself that it isn't visible to others that I am staring ). In the past I had good times in the battle of kedushah. But lately I practically gave up. I think a big reason for this was because my part 2 was horrible. This gave me a bad feeling about myslef and I therefore was ready to throw in the towel.

Moving forward I hope this tactic works. This way at the end of a Clean day I can look at the part 1 of me and say WOW! you did it! Without the negative self talk telling me "your proud of yourself? you haven't learned a word today".

As an end note, I don't know if this makes sense and if it will help me in the kedusha battle, but I am trying my luck. I am trying to psychologically trick myself and am hoping for the best.

Replies are welcome.

Ok then I’ll reply  if you actually wanna get somewhere, then I would suggest you break it out like this.
Part 1 is anything related to Kedusha, learning, Daven with a minyan…

Part 2 will be if you had a productive day etc.

Focus on Part 2
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Last Edit: 07 Jan 2025 04:35 by markz.

Re: Holy In Jerusalem 09 Jan 2025 01:46 #428757

Don't know if it has to do with my new tactic or not but: Today and yesterday SSSL1 Clean!

PS I still use every urge on the street as an opportunity to look (instead of an opportunity to not look). Not really fantasizing to do anything with them but just enjoy seeing it, does that make sense?

SSSL's Story (Google Doc)​ [You will need to request permission, which I'm happy to give.]
Holy In Jerusalem (My Thread)

Feel free to say hi or send some chizuk over @ stopsurvivingstartliving2024@gmail.com.
My google voice number got shut down, so I won't be able to receive or send messages from there.

Re: Holy In Jerusalem 10 Jan 2025 13:22 #428849

Today and Yesterday Clean!

PS I've been to holy places recently and had the family in mind.

SSSL's Story (Google Doc)​ [You will need to request permission, which I'm happy to give.]
Holy In Jerusalem (My Thread)

Feel free to say hi or send some chizuk over @ stopsurvivingstartliving2024@gmail.com.
My google voice number got shut down, so I won't be able to receive or send messages from there.

Re: Holy In Jerusalem 10 Jan 2025 13:40 #428850

  • BenHashemBH
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stopsurvivingstartliving wrote on 10 Jan 2025 13:22:
Today and Yesterday Clean!

PS I've been to holy places recently and had the family in mind.

Thank you!

Have a beautiful and Holy Shabbos in Jerusalem!
Today is yesterday's tomorrow.
The yetzarim a person has the most trouble dealing with are his most powerful God-given tools for developing his potential and achieving shleimus.
It doesn't matter how big the number is, only that today it is going up by one.

Please feel free to reach out. I'd appreciate connecting with you (via GYE, email, or phone - whatever floats your boat)
A little about me: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/412971-I-Want-to-Help-Others

Re: Holy In Jerusalem 12 Jan 2025 00:29 #428892

Shabbos Clean!

Though I am doin pretty good the last few days on P and M I still dread a whole week in front of me. Help!

SSSL's Story (Google Doc)​ [You will need to request permission, which I'm happy to give.]
Holy In Jerusalem (My Thread)

Feel free to say hi or send some chizuk over @ stopsurvivingstartliving2024@gmail.com.
My google voice number got shut down, so I won't be able to receive or send messages from there.

Last Edit: 12 Jan 2025 00:30 by stopsurvivingstartliving.

Re: Holy In Jerusalem 12 Jan 2025 00:37 #428894

  • hopefulposek
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Just keep being in touch with the chevra, your gonna do great!
"Greatness is forged in battle" - Reb Yerucham Levovitz
My Journey - https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/399197-On-the-way-Again
Things that worked for me - https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/422770-Hopeful-Memories
If you are ready to be there for others add your info to this thread - https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/428895-Thread-for-reaching-out-contacts
Feel Free to Reach out to me through email at hopefulposek613@gmail.com
Or my google voice at 3473772871 (NOTE: New Number)

Re: Holy In Jerusalem 12 Jan 2025 04:54 #428922

  • eerie
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stopsurvivingstartliving wrote on 12 Jan 2025 00:29:
Shabbos Clean!

Though I am doin pretty good the last few days on P and M I still dread a whole week in front of me. Help!

My dear friend, you don't have to do the whole week. Just today. Just today. Just today. Just today.
One more thing: you just have to do today
Feel free to say hi. My email is 1gimpelovitz@gmail.com

Re: Holy In Jerusalem 12 Jan 2025 06:10 #428925

  • simchastorah
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I agree with everything in eerie's post I just want to add one thing - you just have to do today (not sure why he didnt mention that, אבל הניח מקום להתגדר בו)
Last Edit: 12 Jan 2025 06:10 by simchastorah.

Re: Holy In Jerusalem 14 Jan 2025 10:21 #429081

Sunday and Monday Clean! Marking one week!

SSSL's Story (Google Doc)​ [You will need to request permission, which I'm happy to give.]
Holy In Jerusalem (My Thread)

Feel free to say hi or send some chizuk over @ stopsurvivingstartliving2024@gmail.com.
My google voice number got shut down, so I won't be able to receive or send messages from there.

Re: Holy In Jerusalem 15 Jan 2025 21:53 #429222

Feeling super vulnerable.

SSSL's Story (Google Doc)​ [You will need to request permission, which I'm happy to give.]
Holy In Jerusalem (My Thread)

Feel free to say hi or send some chizuk over @ stopsurvivingstartliving2024@gmail.com.
My google voice number got shut down, so I won't be able to receive or send messages from there.

Re: Holy In Jerusalem 16 Jan 2025 00:19 #429225

  • time2win
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Care to elaborate? What’s going on? 
hope you are ok
My Story
My journey to 90 days
Feel free to contact me at
613gye613@gmail.com or
text to Google Voice # 410-357-1788   

Re: Holy In Jerusalem 16 Jan 2025 01:35 #429233

Life by SSSL2 is doing really bad. Not much learning going down.

By SSSL1, today was super hard. I tried poking a bit but with all my loopholes closed (I hope) I didn't get anywhere. Going into the shower I had a big taava to masturbate but I was able to fight it, baruch hashem.

I should be in better spirits now that I am doin pretty good lately but life really sucks so I am pretty down.

Signing off,
From a Dark Soul in a Dark Room Waiting for Some Light.

SSSL's Story (Google Doc)​ [You will need to request permission, which I'm happy to give.]
Holy In Jerusalem (My Thread)

Feel free to say hi or send some chizuk over @ stopsurvivingstartliving2024@gmail.com.
My google voice number got shut down, so I won't be able to receive or send messages from there.

Re: Holy In Jerusalem 16 Jan 2025 12:43 #429257

  • upanddown
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stopsurvivingstartliving wrote on 16 Jan 2025 01:35:
Life by SSSL2 is doing really bad. Not much learning going down.

By SSSL1, today was super hard. I tried poking a bit but with all my loopholes closed (I hope) I didn't get anywhere. Going into the shower I had a big taava to masturbate but I was able to fight it, baruch hashem.

I should be in better spirits now that I am doin pretty good lately but life really sucks so I am pretty down.

Signing off,
From a Dark Soul in a Dark Room Waiting for Some Light.

Sorry to hear about the way you are feeling. Life is tough. I'm also going through extremely difficult tekufah atm with my own physical health and my wife's mental health (she even smashed my car into a wall a couple of days ago!).
I tell myself, whatever the issue is, whatever struggles I'm going through, whatever void I'm trying to fill - one thing is clear: P & M is not the answer. What yes? I don't know. What not? I do know.
Stay strong my brother! Keep up your great work and keep fighting!!
I have no doubt that sooner or later you will see some light iyH.
החושך היא סיבת האור

With love and care,
UpAndDown
My favourite resources:
1. "זאת בריתי". hebrewbooks.org/56572 (PM me for a sharper version)
2. "שערי גדולה". hebrewbooks.org/48344
3.  guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation

My journey: Emunah struggles, Celebrating a fall, I'm fed up(main thread), I'm drowning, Tips for Shmiras Einayim.
Last Edit: 16 Jan 2025 12:58 by upanddown.
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