rocky21 wrote on 18 Sep 2024 19:48:

Hero!! The malachim are dancing right now!

By the way, do you have a filter on your phone?

A filter is a fantastic tool. It gives you some breathing room when you find yourself instinctively opening up something you shouldn't. I highly recommend you put on one your phone asap. If cost is an issue, I believe GYE has a sponsorship program.

And don't worry about the future. When you've been clean a long time you aren't going to blow it in a half a second. ODAAT.

KOBUTYHLHAHP (Keep on blowing up the Yetzer Hara like he's a Hezbollah Pager)

rocky21 wrote on 18 Sep 2024 19:48:

WOW! Just a plain and simple WOW!

KOT!

chosemyshem wrote on 18 Sep 2024 20:09:



Why did you only do half the acronym? I thought I got you to memorize the entire thing...

rocky21 wrote on 18 Sep 2024 15:33:

Wow from strength to strength. Smashing that yetzer hara in the face. 

rocky21 wrote on 18 Sep 2024 19:48:

This is amazing!!

Take the time to reflect on the great power that you have inside of yourself, and of the great awsome thing that you did.

Dear rocky21,

You're the real deal! Hashem must be so proud of you. You have a unique, real life Nisayon and it's not easy... but you're a fighter! I love how you write "I know I'm not going to watch today,in starting a workout now and going to win I will update tomorrow with a win bh!!!" - those are words of a real fighter!!
Just 2 points -
- As choosemyshem mentioned, a good filter is the biggest favour you can do to yourself! It protects you in those moments when you try doing things your real "you" doesn't want to be doing...
- Have you ever read the book "The Battle Of The Generation"? It's life changing. It will make the daily challenges into a thrilling experience of growth, instead of it being a constant battle with the YH. (See link in my signature).

Stay strong and we're looking forward to hearing from you!

UpAndDown

Like I promised we got that W yesterday after a tough battle only thanks to you guys and your kind words
Today I did the same thing  I searched a couple of things without pressing on them like there isn't a anything more "playing with fire then that" I'm telling myself get passed this day and Friday and shabbbos are always easy so just keep strong for today but at the same time I hear th YH saying "buddy you searched so that's some sort of failing so juts press it and restart" but no no YH you can't fool me you @#$$_#

rocky21 wrote on 19 Sep 2024 09:57:

Brother Rocky,
Have you considered what Shem and UpandDown wrote about having a filter?
You have a lot of strength, but fighting with sheer will is hard to keep up at all times. Help yourself by utilizing some of the resources available to assist you in this battle. 
Hatzlacha

Day 17 clean 
It has been a tough couple of days and I still feel the urges for the past 6 months I haven't gotten over the 30 day stage but at the same time for the past 6 months I didn't have amazing people like you guys helping me and encouraging me so let's keep going to 30 and get myself happiness and new shoes lol

Day 18 checked 
Knowing from past times all my fausk recently have come between 15-28 day streak and I have been battling strong urges in the past couple of days as you guys now and I really feel like I want it cause I need to relax I feel like I need that quiet that you get from that cause I'm so nervous but I will not fail cause afterwards I'll feel 100 times worse it's the quick fix that destoryes you In the long run
Tomorrow bh I'm going to finally make the call and reach out for extra help and hopefully put on a filter as well as you guys advised and I'll be very happy for more in puts how to get pasted this 3-4 week berier 
And maybe ideas for securing my insensitives

rocky21 wrote on 21 Sep 2024 17:12:

First off, congrats for taking precautionary measures, and for installing a filter! A real step in the right direction! 

Secondly, I can totally relate to those very same feelings. Sometimes we feel like we're in need for a quick fix, cuz it'll surely make life less stressful. But then we remember the feeling we felt after the last time we tried that quick fix. It wasn't something that took away the stress, to the contrary, it burdened us with another layer of guilt. 

I think the YH makes us only remember the pleasurable feeling we had for a short time, but makes us forget the feelings that come afterwards. 

However, I see that you wrote it clearly. Even while you feel the 'need' for this fix, you KNOW the feelings that will follow. So, just re-read your post, you'll see it right there. You KNOW what will follow, so you don't really want it!

You're in a battle few of us can imagine, and have an opportunity for great growth. I'm envious of the levels you can reach, and I'm sure you will go to great heights!

All the best and shavua tov!

- Yiftach'l 

rocky21 wrote on 21 Sep 2024 17:12:

Along the lines that Yiftach wrote, I often feel the difference between "falling mode" and "recovery mode" often is not about knowledge, but about whether the perceived need to act out or the knowledge of what is does to you seems more at hand. 
It sounds like you on the way, good work! We are in this together

I haven't been following your threads until now. I assume someone already suggested that you do the Flight to Freedom program but I am mentioning it just in case nobody suggested it yet. The program will teach you how to fight wisely and it will also help you rewire your brain.

Awesome thread

I don't mean to hijack @rocky21's thread but:

Shalom R' @addict26! Maybe you want to open a thread of your own and introduce yourself. I found it very helpful starting me off. On top of that you can open a count to 90 thread where you count to 90 out loud and get constant pump from the family.

Wishing you great hatzlacha!