chosemyshem wrote on 18 Jun 2024 14:51:

I dont think Im ready to talk about these issues, typing them is already an achievement for me....
Maybe later bezH. 
Imma try to filter any access I have to the triggering stuff that made this urge start in me (the one I coulldn't hold lasted a really long time like hours). For others' devices, I decided not to use them bn (btw is a good thing to say bli neder, or is it a פתח that I leave for the YH?)
Thank for your help, I won't stay with that fall!!

ShtettlMan wrote on 18 Jun 2024 15:03:

Whenever you're ready. Like I said, it took me a very long time to work up to calling anyone. But HHM is a very safe person to talk to. He's heard it all. And I mean all. I actually didn't bother hiding my number in any way when I called him. I figured if his contact list gets out, waaay more important people than me are going to be "discovered" so why bother. lol.

re: commitment. Please do not make an oath of any sort that you might not keep. Say bli neder by all means. A commitment doesn't have to be a shvua for it to be a commitment. Just commit. If you feel like you would benefit from the enforcement of a shvua, there's a type of shvua to pay a penalty that many have found helpful. You can read about it here.

Thanks for the link! It was very interesting 
I would like to try the TaPHSIC Method, with the Knas before and after p&m (which I hope bezH won't happen again).
Has anyone here already tried it and can give me some advice?
Thank you
ShtettlMan.

I tried the TAPHSIC method, it could be a very good way not to use the unfiltered devices. BezH hope it will work !
I can wright here what I said in the shvuah if anyone wants or maybe can check what I said. I took only 1 week to start and see the effects.

Yeah def share it! A week is a great start.

chosemyshem wrote on 19 Jun 2024 16:21:

Ani Nishba, beshaim Ad ---- (in the name of G-d) until 06/26/2024 4 p.m.
If I have a fall, which is defined by one of the following:
Either
(a) I motzi zera levatala (masturbate) intentionally while fully awake ,
either
(b) I intentionally obtain in any way adult sexual material of any kind, digital or printed (including magazines, DVDs, etc.)
Or
(c) I intentionally visit websites or webpages, images, videos, chat rooms or forums, for the purpose of viewing adult sexual content (including any type of images, drawings, videos , audio or erotic readings intended for adults), I include lingerie sites for women, and I have actually seen or listened to inappropriate content
Or
(d) if I contact - or respond positively to for a sexual purpose (including via email, chat, webcams, etc.)
Or
(e) if I participate in illicit services of a sexual nature of any nature (including calls to adult hotlines, massages)
Then, if I took a 20-minute walk while listening to a Torah shiur (not necessarily during the 20 minutes, but necessarily > 8 minutes.)
Or/ I spoke with people who know me, by phone or in person, for at least 10 minutes
Or/ I stored the sefarim in the beis-medrash/shul for 15 minutes.
OR:  I said Tehillim for half an hour.
OR: I go to Beth Hamidrach for 20 minutes
OR:  I learned Gemara for 20 minutes.
OR: I take a cold shower

in the 90 minutes before my fall, then
within the next 36 hours (or within another period), I will l donate 20 $ to Tzedaka
2. I'm going to take a cold shower with no hot water at all.
6. I will fast from dawn until nightfall (within the next 3 days).
for each day (or 3 hour period) I fall into.
If I didn't do any (or all) of these things in the 90 minutes before my fall, then
in the next 36 hours (or any other time frame), I will 1. I will donate 500 $ to Tzedaka.
3. I will fast from dawn until nightfall for two consecutive days (over the next 7 days).

I chose in the propositions that were on the article

Looks gevaldig. Is the knas all the things or just one of the options?
And just make sure the second knas is within your abilities. Like if you don't have $500 then it's a bad knas. Do you think you're able to fast two consecutive days? But that's just some fine tuning.
Hope you find this helpful.

I thoought to do all the knases but maybe it is too big, I'll see how it works and change the things that are not ok. 
Thank you!
Actually 500$ are a lot for me but I thought it would force myself to do the stuff when an urge comes. 

ShtettlMan wrote on 19 Jun 2024 17:28:

Yeah. There's a sweet spot between motivating bc it's hard, and impossible. If it's impossible to fulfill the knas it's counterproductive. 

You're right, the YH tries to get me even like that. Thanks!

ShtettlMan wrote on 19 Jun 2024 17:03:

1. Mutar Lach
2. ”
3. ”
4. ”
5. ”
6. ”
7. ”
8. ”
9. ”
10. ”
11. ”
12. ”

12 steps and it’s done 

Wow! It's really great that your making such a major effort to overcome your struggle. I hope it works for you

Just wondering aloud though... I know there's an official GYE Taphsic method. But making a real shvua seems like playing with something pretty scary. Like what happens if you by mistake are oiver on it without realising, like if one of the terminologies isn't so clear i.e. who says that what you call a torah shiur is hashems definition of a torah shiur, not putting any speakers down  but what if say the guy is just shmoozing for 10 mins first does that count as torah?

neshomo kedosha wrote on 19 Jun 2024 23:28:

Actually I heard the chiur and the Rabbi said there thaht it was a Tzivouy of the Torah. I thought about what I thought I coul do and couldnt for about 24 hours, and then nishbati. As they explain in the article there is a bunch of things to say after the shvua so that I'll can change the terms by the end of the firtst week.

Btw I hope that לשון בגי אדם is the thing that is קובע what a shiur Torah is...

Also, if anyone has an idea if I have to remake a shvua by the end of this week (as it's supposed to last a month if I don't change any term), or it's enough to change the knassim without swearing.

Day 2 of the new count, bH feel great and motivated for the new count. I gave myself on aim of 30 days.