To my deal brothers on GYE, it's extremely painful for me to write this post but it would be more painful not to write it and be dishonest.

This morning I came into my office and realized that the filter was not working (we have a filter on the router for the whole network). Besides the filter, I also have webchaver installed, so I would not go anywhere bad on my PC, but there was a tablet on my table and I followed the voice of the Y"H 
"hey! here's an opportunity!" 
I fell - and we all know the feelings that follow...
So- I will start counting again! I will NOT stay down even for a minute & I will try to post honestly here to the best of my ability.
Thank you all for your support.

DavidT wrote on 08 Jan 2021 16:27:

Not sure if I should say this, but I will. 

Im talking about myself and you our dear David. 

Falling is a natural turn of events, it’s just a matter of time. Some of us have extra siyata dish maya, but since I joined gye and had super long streaks, I have still fallen. 

The big question is will I / you stay down?
If yes, then you failed. 

You failed failing today bro!
KUTGW!!!!!!!!

NO! I will not stay down with the help of Hashem of course. 
My next step is to make a list of extra precautions & fences going forward so this should not happen again. 
Any suggestions? 

Put the truck in Monsta gear and shlep right out of the mud!

Can you get the tablet filtered?

Hi D.T,


Your recent fall reminds me that I can never be too careful.

I know that we sometimes say that "I'm fine" or "Ill move on" from the fall...for me, it can take a few days to get out of that mode and really put the past behind me.

In any case, your fall is only to make you get up with more resolve and perseverance!

Wishing you much Hatzlocha!

Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 08 Jan 2021 17:00:

We have a filter on the network that fillers the tablets as well, today it failed and I spoke to the company to make sure it will not happen again. 

But as we all know very well, filters are not the solution it's just part of the big picture. It's time for me to step up my inner-filters and see how to improve - with Hashems help & your support. 

DavidT wrote on 08 Jan 2021 16:27:

I’m just going to say that I profoundly admire your honesty and self acceptance.
A true role model for us all

DavidT wrote on 27 Jan 2020 01:37:

Gibor!!!

Thank you all for the warm encouraging words. 
​We can never let our guard down because the yetzer hora does not sleep.
In a way it's very humbling to see 2 clean days on the chart and to feel the pain that so many of us are going thru, but from the other side when we see big numbers under our name we must never forget that it's all possible only with the help of Hashem. 

Here are some reminders for myself for today:
- One day at a time!
- One tiny drop of lust is a drop too much!
- Keep on davening to Hashem to help me stay clean!
- Try to help others as much as possible 
- The greatest tikkun for the past is keeping strong now 

DavidT wrote on 11 Jan 2021 15:32:

If only we'd all be as strong as you! Truly humbling yet encouraging. I hope to be on your level someday...

Grant400 wrote on 11 Jan 2021 15:39:

Thank you for these kind words. I guess Hashem wants me to feel the power of getting words of encouragement, so I'll know how important it is to give it to others. 

Here is a good story that amplifies this point.. 
One day, the Holy Or HaMeir came to visit his friend the Meor Einayim who was in prison. And he wanted to bribe the guards so that he can take the place of the Meor Einayim, so that he could escape.

And the Meor Einayim said: It's okay, I'm leaving prison shortly. The Or HaMeir asked: Rebbe, how do you know?

So he said: I had a vision. I saw Sarah Imeinu and she told me: לֶךְ לְךָ מֵאַרְצְךָ - You know why Hashem had to send Avraham Avinu out into the world?

Because Avraham Avinu was the “Hachnosas Orchim Jew”, and Hashem said: I want you to know how it feels to be a guest, so that when you take in that guest, you and him are both the same.

And the Meor Einayim said: I realized, that you know why I'm in prison? Because I go collecting money for Pidyon Shvuyim, and in order for me to really empathize with another yid I had to go through it myself.

Every time we help a Jew it's really amazing, but you know what's the most amazing of it all? When you can actually feel and experience what the needy person is feeling like... Today. 

When you come on after a fall, it shows so many people how it is possible to really break free. 

This "Day 2" is not the same "Day 2" you have had in the past. You are in a different universe of days, and the place you are now is miles and miles ahead of even prior high numbers. Don't forget that and keep pushing forward.

The best thing I was told when I fell after a long streak was....

*SLAP* ...... *HUG* 

On of the keys to staying strong, is to stay out of tempting situations. If you were on a diet, you wouldn't bring chocolate cake into the house every day. You simply wouldn't want to expose yourself to this challenge.

So too, if you want to keep your eyes and mind where they belong, create a protective fence: Avoid temptation. Avoid compromising situations in the first place.

Another point is that no matter how much you try to master your body, you can't totally negate your Yetzer Hara. Your body's drives are instinctive and they tug at you constantly. You can avoid temptation by keeping your mind fully occupied with things that interest you. When your mind is immersed in creative and intellectual pursuits, you will be much less inclined to indulge a roving eye.

Thank you so very much for this thread. I will admit that when I first saw it I was filled with Yiush. Is there really no end point? Do you really never "graduate"? Then I realized that the answer to my question is yes,there is no end to the Nisyonos until after 120. That is what we are here to deal with. That is not a sad thought,but rather an invigorating thought.It is really not a chiddush to have a fall. It is just like any other area in life.The chidush is the way you got right back up and are here and ready to help just as before.
Thank you very much!