iwillnevergiveup wrote on 01 Jul 2020 04:26:

There is a little secret that really works:
Thank Hashem for a clean "today" and he'll give you a clean "tomorrow"! 

Keep strong!

Day 19 It’s all about growing, so as the Yetzer Hara gets creative, I’ll work harder to fight back.  

Day 22 Weekends always the hardest. 
Pretty close to falling. 

iwillnevergiveup wrote on 06 Jul 2020 01:42:

Don't forget your name. You just need to hit the pillow clean tonight and you are a hero! Weekends Are hard. Turn to Hashem. Tell Him that you can't do it alone. He'll help you. Call a friend if you can, but remember that Hashem Can actually keep you clean. 

stillgoing wrote on 06 Jul 2020 01:51:

Sg, nice to see you back. 
I think it helps when you share your story, or at least what you’re up to these days, as it can give this post of yours a different perspective 

Markz wrote on 06 Jul 2020 02:26:

Not sure which perspective it currently has... :-) nor do I understand what can be gained by sharing, but if Markz asks, one would be wise to listen.
my name is SG, I'm a recovering GYE posterholic... Just kidding, (I'm not really recovered) I've been on gye for about 6 years, a large part of which I was a binge poster. Oh and p*rnography, and masterbation, and an awful lot of fantasy. On Gye I learnt a lot, I heard for the first time that lust was not my problem but was rather the solution to my problems. I didn't really know what that meant since I didn't really have any problems (other then motzei zera lvatala). I spoke with Gye members on the phone regularly and eventually met several people. We read the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and tried to apply them. I learnt a lot. The only downside for me was that I was not staying clean.  I fell so many times that I started making up random things to write in my 90 day log each time I reset. How many times can I write that I just gave in - again. Eventually I got sick and tired of the continuous cycle of counting and falling that I but the bullet and joined Sexaholic Anonymous. In that setting I began to stay clean longer and many aspects of my life and marriage have improved since then as I began to work on my life in order to stop my need to act out. 
getting back to the above post, one of the central ideas of SA is the concept that for people like me who had really really wanted to stop and really tried to stop and still were not able to stop (for years) are actually powerless and cannot stop on their own.  Only a Higher Power (who I call Hashem)s is actually able to stop me from acting out. Some days I really tried all the tricks that I could think of, and still I feel that I'm going to fall, so I turn to Hashem and say "Totty, there is no way that on my own I won't act out. I've always fallen in this situation in the past. I really can't do it. But You can. Please take away my lust for this person or this situation because when I lust it drives me far from you and ruins the good life that You gave me." Somehow, when I do this it works. Sometimes it's truly too much for us, we can turn to Hashem and He'll carry us.

Hope the new perspective was better than the old one. :-)
Sg

Slid down over a couple days -Problem

Solution-
Closed a loop hole in my taphsic. 
Will watch the daily boost in the morning every day. 

Will update my chart and post on this forum every single day- no skipping. 

At night I will go through a tool a day from a GYE ebook. 

I need to train myself when a challenge comes, Stop and think for 10 seconds about what I’m am thinking of doing. 

Small reachable goals. Next stop 10 days.

feel for you...
but i commend your ability to bounce back like that. thats something i find very hard, as im sure most people do. 
so pride yourself on your conviction and keep fighting!!!

Was a good day today. 
Listened to the daily boost in the morning and read a tool from an ebook.. at night.

Hopefully tomorrow will be as good as today. 

One of the greatest obstacles stopping a person from changing is the notion that it can be done without a lot of investment.
We live in a generation of instant results, and we come to expect that whatever needs to happen should happen quickly.
We tend to forget that our whole purpose on this world is to grow and improve.

We are supposed to work hard!

iwillnevergiveup wrote on 16 Jul 2020 05:42:

You couldn't have said it better.

We have created for ourselves this life of instant gratification (I am referring specifically to our struggles in which whenever we feel down we have this instant "feel good" button) we allow ourselves to get used to this quick fix and expect recovery to be the same. We forget that the real things in life actually take time and effort, real challenges have no "get fit in 15 minutes" option, it takes real work.

Learning to have patience has been and still is essential for me.

You seem to have this thing pretty much under control, Keep it up!

All the best,
Wilnevergiveup (without the "I")

yeah, it really muddled me!!!
thanks for clearing it up!!!!!!

This is such a true point. If a person just waits until he is challenged and does not invest time preparing before (reading ebooks, thinking about what challenges might arise and that he might feel differently at that time so he will be ready, listening to shiurim, gye boost, etc.), then he will have a much harder time winning. When starting a 90 day plan we can't just expect and hope that it will be 90 days without challenges. We have to invest time thinking that we will be challenged and how we will overcome it, so we are not surprised by desire.

If you fail to plan, you are (potentially) planning to fail. 

I went through some scenarios that are challenges for me, and thought through what I would do in each one to overcome it. - Try it! 

iwillnevergiveup wrote on 17 Jul 2020 05:43:

Yes! Yes! Yes! Planning is everything. I love how you say "...planning to fail" because that's just it.

You still are a huge chizzuk to me, keep it up. Without you I would be nowhere. You brought me through those rough first few weeks, without you I probably would have given up.

Keep it up!