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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

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TOPIC: Just getting started 7562 Views

Just getting started 11 May 2017 16:39 #312902

MovingForward
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Starting 90 days today. I need advice about cell phone filter. I have android LG phone and I need a good filter that won't allow incognito. But I still want access to YouTube and Facebook. Any suggestions? I had tried k9 in the past and it didn't work well on my phone. I have been filter free for a long time and it is a problem. I wanted to quit without one..to prove my teshuva...and it worked for a while..but lately I just give in so easy.

Re: Just getting started 11 May 2017 16:44 #312903

mayanhamisgaber Current streak: 44 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1198 Karma: 71	Welcome Recovery should be with Hatzlacha
	very important thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21">FEEL THE HUGS!!!

Re: Just getting started 11 May 2017 17:05 #312904

eslaasos Current streak: 16 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 954 Karma: 81	I recommend a filter called Netspark. If you have a TAG office near you they should be able to assist you with it.
	Quotes that speak to me What do we replace it with....Life (Cordnoy) My Thread My Other Thread

Re: Just getting started 11 May 2017 17:16 #312905

Markz
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Needafriend wrote on 23 Mar 2017 22:28:

Shalom Holy Brothers! I am new here. I am married with children...happily married. I also have secret SSA..which I think comes from a variety of life experiences. I have been on and off porn for years..on and off masturbation too. I believe I need male friends...normal male friendship. I feel like the SSA thing calms down when I am around other men. I do believe I struggle with gender wholeness..viewing myself as a real man. Sometimes I feel very masculine and normal and the SSA thing almost disappears.

I get triggered by stress, arguments with my wife, and older men who look like my Dad in certain ways. I think I didn't have enough male attention growing up...Dad always worked.

Sounds weird..but after reading here..I know it isn't that uncommon.

I would love to have a friend who is older and Jewish and married...who can help me be a better person. For now..I feel I must remain anonymous.

Wife doesn't know about the SSA. She knows about the porn struggle...and is worried that I am looking at other women. Not the issue..but I have so much shame I can't tell her.

I am somewhat modern orthodox with hippie tendencies...LOL

Looking forward to discussion.

I don't believe it's possible to truly filter YouTube
We definitely wouldn't want K9aHorror

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Re: Just getting started 12 May 2017 01:44 #312930

tiger Current streak: 6 days OFFLINE Expert Boarder Posts: 112 Karma: 5	Any decent filter Will not allow facebook or YouTube,sorry you Will just have to give that up!!

Re: Just getting started 12 May 2017 03:03 #312935

Shivisi_Hashem
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Sorry, but i came from the worst sites, called porn, and i stoped completely browsing any other website except GYE, my company website and amazon, its hard in the beginning but now after 3 weeks i dont have any נסיון, i dont recommend to go to this extreme, and i eventually will visit other kosher sites too, but you need to guard your self from any not necessit website, first as a starting point.
just my opinion..

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My threads: my long נסיעה of almost 30 years ~ My Book of Business ~ My Upcoming Dilemma

להטות לבבנו אליו ללכת בכל דרכיו ולשמר מצותיו וחקיו ומשפטיו אשר צוה את אבתינו
כי עיקר מציאות האדם בעה"ז הוא רק לקיים מצות ולעמד בניסיון, והנאות העולם אין ראוי שיהו לו אלא לעזר ולסיוע בלבד לשיהיה לו נחת רוח ויישוב הדעת למען יוכל לפנות לבו אל העבודה הזאת מסילת ישרים

Re: Just getting started 12 May 2017 03:44 #312937

lionking
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tiger wrote on 12 May 2017 01:44:

Any decent filter Will not allow facebook or YouTube,sorry you Will just have to give that up!!

FYI: There are filters that can effectively filter youtube depending on the criteria you specify. The filtering agent beyond some popular filters, called livigent, has support to allow only youtube from specific channels, users, etc... Or they can enable youtube to only work when embedded on a different site.
Filters are only as effective as the user. At most it is a deterrent.
Hatzlacha

My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: Just getting started 12 May 2017 14:59 #312964

tiger
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I have meshimer white list and they lock you tube, but I was able to open YouTube when it was from different site but of course you need to have it requested and it does take time, buy hey that's the least I can do for my recovery!

I know people that get upset at their filters and swear at it vowing never to use it again,it's takes to long I need it now etc, it doesn't help anyway,I can get it elsewhere, no problem do as you wish but don't cry when you end up in the wrong place!!

Don't you think that having a filter on your device is ABC??

Who is talking about sobriety, just talking about the minimum a person can do for this struggle!!

Re: Just getting started 12 May 2017 15:02 #312965

tiger Current streak: 6 days OFFLINE Expert Boarder Posts: 112 Karma: 5	Hope I was not to sharp, I just feel very strongly about this, but l know that there are people that can not bring themselves to have one

Re: Just getting started 12 May 2017 15:21 #312968

bigmoish
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tiger wrote on 12 May 2017 15:02:

Hope I was not to sharp, I just feel very strongly about this, but l know that there are people that can not bring themselves to have one

Agree or disagree, I like the passion.

Handbook | Skep's Tips
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www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/236327-Bigmoish-tries-to-be-good
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/236329-Bigmoishs-path-to-tahara

"We have met the enemy and he is us" - Pogo
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"Desiring is not a sin at all, but just a sign that you are not dead yet" - Dov
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Re: Just getting started 12 May 2017 19:15 #312985

MovingForward Current streak: 20 days OFFLINE Senior Boarder Posts: 60 Karma: 1	For teshuvah to be real, a person has to have the exact same options available to him and yet choose the right one instead...no? How can it be real teshuvah if the option to look is not there?

Re: Just getting started 12 May 2017 19:29 #312986

lionking OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 966 Karma: 102	Ask your LOR, but IMHO, setting up fences not to get to the point of failure counts as Teshuva. I personally wouldn't focus on Teshuva, first get real and live a sane life. There are countless gentiles trying to stop acting out totally not for Teshuva purposes. They realized their life is unmanageable. I have news for you, SA wasn't started by a Jew.
	My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: Just getting started 12 May 2017 19:40 #312987

Markz
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Needafriend wrote on 12 May 2017 19:15:

For teshuvah to be real, a person has to have the exact same options available to him and yet choose the right one instead...no? How can it be real teshuvah if the option to look is not there?

The option is here
I can choose immediately to cancel my webchaver account, and to uninstall my K9, and then...

That in my mind is considered available and ready, but I choose to do the right thing right now ;-)

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Re: Just getting started 12 May 2017 19:47 #312988

Workingguy
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Needafriend wrote on 12 May 2017 19:15:

For teshuvah to be real, a person has to have the exact same options available to him and yet choose the right one instead...no? How can it be real teshuvah if the option to look is not there?

If you really want to get into the sugya and go into what that means, we can. But I think it is probably self-evident (unless it's not) that one has to stay far from aveira and is not allowed to put themselves in an unsafe situation. So before we even get into what that DOES mean, let's be clear that it absolutely doesn't mean to put yourself in the same situation on purpose.

Re: Just getting started 12 May 2017 21:19 #312991

cordnoy
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Needafriend wrote on 12 May 2017 19:15:

For teshuvah to be real, a person has to have the exact same options available to him and yet choose the right one instead...no? How can it be real teshuvah if the option to look is not there?

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