Day #2 of 2nd round - Day #92

Today is Day #2 of 2nd round, and im doing great, i had yesterday a tough time, i attended the Kosherfest, and believe me, there was a lot what to see, i tried my best, and i didn't look on anyone intentionally, wasn't any הסתכלות, BH for that, wasnt easy at all, but i made it, 

BH, things are much much easier this days, no more those tough days where lust were taking me over, and i hope it will stay this way, but never say never, and i beg hashem, i should fall back where i was a year ago, its not fun at all. i love it, i love myself, i feel that for me, the filter on my devices is the key, i feel that if i will sit at any unfiltered device i will fall, i better shouldn't do that... hashem, please help me... 

Remember: One day at a time, why mess up the day when most of the day is almost over, stay positive, think and talk positive then everything will go your way, only with Simcha.

Thank you all!!! Im still clean all because of you, your support, your posts, your messages and what not.. keep it up.

Let’s Stay Strong! Let’s Stay Clean! And let’s be positive and happy, Yes! We can and we will do it! And Together....

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, this is Hymie reporting live from the MGM Grand in beautiful, starry, magnificent, sultry, Las Vegas, Nevada.

Here we are with the rematch that fans all over the world have anxiously been waiting for. I cannot believe it's finally here!

Introducing first, in the red corner....... He has an uncanny instinct for sensing when to make the move, when to make the cut. He can kill you with a headfake, he can kill you with the swiftness of his legs and the ability to be in a direction at any single second. He also kills you with hisvariation of speed...

His opponent, in the blue corner, fighting outta Hell, Gehinoma.... arrogant, pompous, obnoxious, vain, cruel, verbose, a showoff. I have been called all of these. Of course, I am.

This will be 12 (steps) rounds (or more) of wall to wall fighting, to settle once and for all who the true champion is in the heaviest of heavy divisions, and after it's settled, we will fight some more!

Unlike any other sport, the objective in boxing is chillingly simple: One man purposefully endeavors to inflict bodily harm on another man, and that, in truth, is the purpose of this struggle and life and of all mankind.

The ultimate victory in competition is derived from the inner satisfaction of knowing that you have done your best and that you have gotten the most out of what you had to give. So, let the games begin. When your enemy cunningly feints to the right, hit him with a left, knock him unconscious with a vicious uppercut. If he lands first and you spill some seed, have your trainer wipe it off, and proceed cautiously to the middle of the ring.

Your eye might be closed shut, your cheeks are bloody, your chest is badly bruised, your shorts are stained, but you possess the courage to fight on. Then there is a still higher type of courage - the courage to brave pain, to live with it, to never let others know of it and to still find joy in life; to wake up in the morning with an enthusiasm for the day ahead (although your head is in a fog and you can't even see the pretty little thing hardly dressed, walking three feet in front of you).

Holy cow! Down goes Frazier! Down goes Frazier! Down goes Frazier!

That's all she wrote. You wanna keep fighting your entire life, then take off that damn robe, tie on the gloves, knot your shorts, climb the steps into the ring, and be ready to get the bloody Hell beaten outta you. You wanna live, stay the Hell outta Las Vegas; focus on your haughtiness, immaturity, spontaneous reactions, jealousy, egotistic desires - perfect them, and then you can live comfortably in Boise.

Ladies and Gentleman, the Bronx is burning.

Trouble wrote on 15 Nov 2017 22:44:

Well said.

Shvisi have you heard abie rottenbergs songs?
One of them goes like "I have trouble with my words...". I think trouble has trouble with his words. He was making a point.
But he really shouldn't have posted that on your personal home thread if it would spin your head

Actually my post is gonna be post #322,477 on gye - must be some great Gematria.

However maybe 39,999 posts or more throughout Gye forums have rubbed people the wrong way and should be deleted.
Do those 39,999 bother you?

Markz wrote on 16 Nov 2017 02:47:

Yes, he does have a good point, and i was reading it while i was in middle of a hectic situation, and i thought he is off his mind, but no, he is good, 


I dont mind at all, as long it make sense, and he is not chewing water.....


will get you tomorrow a good Gematria.......


You are great, best of the best....Trouble, we want more.... keep ot coming....

Marks, is there some military codes here between us???? 

Day #3 of 2nd round - Day #93

Today is day #3, im doing great, no lust whats so ever the last few days, i know its just a matter of time, till ill get them back, but im happy and thankful for every second i don't have them, and for every second im clean, Hashem love when we are thankful, and we should be thankful, after all, he does with us so many thing we just dont deserve, he is our father and he loves us, he will never ever trow us away, even we keep on failing, so lets be positive and lets try to give back, so we will deserve what ever he gives us.

i sew today this piece in Mesilas Yeshorim, and he is so right, basically, that the YH is smart, and he wont let us stop and think, what we have done until now, and where we are heading, and thats one of his big tricks...... and he says that ואי אפשר למלט ממנו אלא בחכמה רבה והשקפה גדולה

ואולם הנה זאת באמת אחת מתחבולות היצר הרע וערמתו להכביד עבודתו בתמידות על לבות בני האדם עד שלא ישאר להם ריוח להתבונן ולהסתכל באיזה דרך הם הולכים, כי יודע הוא שאלולי היו שמים לבם כמעט קט על דרכיהם, ודאי שמיד היו מתחילים להנחם ממעשיהם, והיתה החרטה הולכת ומתגברת בהם עד שהיו עוזבים החטא לגמרי. והרי זו מעין עצת פרעה הרשע שאמר (שמות ה, ט): תכבד העבודה על האנשים וגו', שהיה מתכוין שלא להניח להם ריוח כלל לבלתי יתנו לב או ישימו עצה נגדו, אלא היה משתדל להפריע לבם מכל התבוננות בכח התמדת העבודה הבלתי מפסקת כן היא עצת היצר הרע ממש על בני האדם, כי איש מלחמה הוא ומלמד בערמימות, ואי אפשר למלט ממנו אלא בחכמה רבה והשקפה גדולה.

Remember: One day at a time, why mess up the day when most of the day is almost over, stay positive, think and talk positive then everything will go your way, only with Simcha.

Thank you all!!! Im still clean all because of you, your support, your posts, your messages and what not.. keep it up.

Let’s Stay Strong! Let’s Stay Clean! And let’s be positive and happy, Yes! We can and we will do it! And Together....

Trouble wrote on 15 Nov 2017 22:44:

Trouble, care to explain at all? I think I understand some of it, but I don't think I get it all.

Do you do Howard's voice as well?

I was wondering if anyone would catch on that it was Cosell, at his very best.

Can't get anything past that Cordnoy guy.

Trouble wrote on 16 Nov 2017 19:01:

One word: Clueless,
cant google this stuff, its blocked, thanks to my filter... and i dont have an extra minute, thanks any way..
and Cordnoy..... yes, he is the guy...

Trouble wrote on 16 Nov 2017 19:01:

Truth is that I didn't chap until I got to the "down goes Frazier!" My goodness; that brings back memories. I remember where I was at that moment - the winter of '73, watchin' in my grandparents' apartment on the old black n' white. Foreman was one cool character. Who woulda' thought that someone else on this forum dates that far back?

And then, I scrolled back up and saw the other references. O.J. was great!

​Ok, enough reminiscin'; care for some explainin'?

cordnoy wrote on 16 Nov 2017 19:13:

When I read that shivisi was going to fight a rematch, and he survived the second round, I couldn't help but hear the words of Howard Cosell, as the fighters entered the ring for round #3.

It then conjured images of o.j. Simpson escaping would be tacklers, or even fleeing in his black Bronco.

Sorry, Mr. Shivisi, keep up the good work, but reading your posts, I sense that you're running bare-chested around the house in your red trunks, with the devil and his long pitchfork poking at your legs. He draws blood and you smile and tell him, "imbecile what you are, most of the day is gone already, so I'm not falling now!" And similar to the shofar in elul except erev r"h (which fools him every year), satan might be smart, shrewd and conniving, but he's too stupid to show up in the beginning of the day (round), when most of the day has not passed.

Trouble wrote on 16 Nov 2017 19:36:

im sorry but i have to....
​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Ok.

Blue trunks.

i think trouble is being a bit harsh on shivisi.
He is admitting to having a lot less lust.
The issue is that I dont think you have many tools of recovery.
And thats where it can get tricky
Filters are great, until you get to an unfiltered computer.
What that means is that you are going to continue to white knuckle whenever you are near an open device.
Lust is cunning deceiving and baffling and whats critical is having real tools of recovery.
What will happen if several things go wrong all at once...
What will happen if one day looking out of your window you see something you have no control over seeing and it sparks up the lust.
You can't filter life.
I wish you lots of hatzlacha but as I have posted several times, including on this thread I am no longer fighting anything. I ceased fighting.
I surrendered the fight to Hashem.
He does the fighting for me, and all i do is let him in.
I do that through real tools of recovery that i have learnt and gained from a structured program of recovery.
You have done amazing so far but this isnt round 2 of 90. 
This is one day , the only day of your life - and you happen to have 92 days since you last acted out with lust.
Today I am celebrating 11 months of sobriety.
Its a miracle.
GYE kick started it but filters didn't save me.
I dont have filters.
Because if lust is in charge i can go buy an unfiltered device in a matter of minutes.
Anyways I am happy to talk with you anytime... please pm me or email me you should still have my email!

Well said.

So that means that there is no true recovery outside of the 12 steps program? Don't you think that many people  (I really mean myself) can do without it? Like filtering, staying connected, avoiding anything that leads to a fall and dealing with what brings me to run away from reality in a healthier an effective way? Are there no tools for recovery other than SA?