Hashem Help Me wrote on 14 Sep 2017 20:47:

Thats exactly my problem, my biggest struggle is when im in bed, relaxing after a full working day, and i have toouch time, i dont know what to do? Im reading in bed, but still having time to fight with my thoughts... help is appreciated... 

Shivisi_Hashem wrote on 15 Sep 2017 00:26:

I listen then to recordings of dov calls
You may get addicted to them too

You have to find something that will work for you. For some, reading an interesting book until they conk out works. (For some, a sefer makes them fall asleep right away...) Listening to a phone line or tape (yes, i am old enough that i still call it a tape), be it a shiur, a story, or whatever, may work. May Hashem help you find the solution easily until the habit is iyh broken.

Day #34

Today is #34, i had it BH very easy shabbes and today, probably because i dont want to mess it up before Roosh Hashanah, but who cares why? The main thing is that im clean, i remember when i start my holy jurney a week before peasach, it looked to me like an impossible thing, like how in the world will i survive without porn even a day? No masturbating, how? How will i make it? But now im here, a half year later, working on myself big time, im most of the time clean, i fell 3 times, but it will get better, i remember acting out on a daily basis, with no regret at all, porn was my life, of a 40 hour work week, i probably worked maybe 10 hours, i was realy dirty, it wasnt me, it was my double, but now im here, i myself, no doubles, yes i can, and we all can, just a little courage and will power, and lets be happy, with simche we can get everywhere, we can reach anything, just be positive.

lets work on it together, one day at a time.

thank you all, 

I would like to ask (feel free not to answer) how was the transmission from working 10 hours a week to 40 how do you feel up those 30 hours? If u can get away with working only 10 hours?

Michael94 wrote on 20 Sep 2017 05:13:

How i feel?
when i wasted the other 30 hours with porn i felt very empty, crooked and dishonest, wasting others money, and most of all, things haven't been done, my boss kept on asking me whats going on, and i used to have all kinds of excuses.
now when i fill in all 40 hours, i feel that im worth the money, things are being done the right way, and when i get home i feel good about myself, that i accomplish a lot, and not wasting time with garbage, and not stealing money from others..
ant on top of all, i didnt wasted my time with porn, a full day of work, is a great thing, and a good feeling.

Day #40

Today is #40, i had BH a great Yom Tov, and we should've Poeld Ales Gits, great health, Yiddish Nachas from our kids, Yiras Vahavas Hashem, easy Parnasah, and what not, we should have only goods, a clean and easy year with no struggles at all, no falls, and a Gmar Chasimah Tova, i had you all in mind at my tefilas.

this week will be Aseres Yemei Teshivah, you should know one thing, that its not scary days, its days when Hashem is so close to us, he is calling to his children we should come home to him, he is waiting for us, we should open the door just as little as the hole of a sewing pin, its a real timy hole, but thats what he wants from us, but it should be a real one, then he will help us opening that door like the door of a huge hall, but we have to be positive, we have to know that yes our tefilas is בוקע רקיעים yes we can and we will try to be good, lets not miss this opportunity, its just this 10 day in a year, hashem is so close to us, he is just waiting we should ask him, and he will respond, its ימי רחמים ורצון, so lets have in mind all of us, כל המתפלל בעד חבירו הוא נענה תחילה, and please dont estimate your self, by saying, who am i? Im full of garbage, full of wrong doing, porn, acting out, etc. no, its not true, hashem is listening to everyone, nobody will find anywere in Shilchen Urech that if he watched porn he shouldn't come to shil and daven, he shouldn't say sliches, shouldn't blow the shofer, no, hashem is waiting for all of us, please dont under estimate your self, you should know that all tefilas are very chushiv, and none are being lost...

have an easy fast Tsoim Gedalye, 

Thank you all!!! Im still clean all because of you, your support, your posts, your messages and what not.. keep it up.

Let’s Stay Strong! Let’s Stay Clean! And let’s be positive and happy, Yes! We can and we will do it! And Together!

Day #41

Today is my #41, ​i just cant believe it, and yes its 41 days im clean, how im doing it? no clue, im just pushing it day by day, any time im getting in the mood of acting out, i just push it off for the next hour, i promise myself that i will act out, but not now, maybe later, maybe at night, but i keep on pushing, and thats how i got to the lucky number of 41..... , but hay, dont get excited, i still have to go many many years, and hopefully it will be clean ones... so basically, the only way to go clean is by doing it on a day-to-day minute-by-minute basis. we have to tell the YH that we will give in, but not now, now i dont have the time and energy to do it, but i promise you that one day ill do it.... lol

all of you, please dont give in at the second you have that lusty urge, just push it a little, just 5 minutes, then for another 5 minutes, go out for a walk, take a coffey, do something, and you will see results....

Thank you all!!! Im still clean all because of you, your support, your posts, your messages and what not.. keep it up.

Let’s Stay Strong! Let’s Stay Clean! And let’s be positive and happy, Yes! We can and we will do it! And Together!

Shivisi_Hashem wrote on 25 Sep 2017 14:48:

WW for you.....continued hatzlachah.

But for me.....רחמנא מצלי מדעתן דידך

Day #42
yes, im clean for 6 weeks now, i love my self, i did it, and i will continue doing so all my life, with the help from hashem and from all my good friends here at GYE... you are the best, im a person, i live a life, im a jew, im a human being, im not any more a double person, i can think, i can daven, i can learn, i can work, i can enjoy my family, its such a great feeling, and to my all brothers out there, if you didn't join yet, you dont know what you are loosing out, start living your real you, your real life.

sew this today "Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall" so true, 

Thank you all!!! Im still clean all because of you, your support, your posts, your messages and what not.. keep it up.

Let’s Stay Strong! Let’s Stay Clean! And let’s be positive and happy, Yes! We can and we will do it! And Together!

Mazel tov on your accomplishment! Continued hatzlocha. your posts are very inspiring.

Day #43

Today is my first day in the last week of my Shivah Nekiyim, 1st day in my 7th week, its my 2nd time, and hopefully last time ill be at this stage, and im sooooo excited i made it till here.... GYE is my life saver, saved me from everything bad, marriage, yiddishkeit, and what not..... the support and chizuk one is getting here is huge.... Thank You all.....

should we all have a Gmar Chasimah Tova, a Healthy Wealthy and sweet year, should this YH be בטל ומבוטל for ever, it caused already so much pain for so many people.... should this year be a completely clean and sober year, no lust and any struggle in any way or shape......

Thank you all!!! Im still clean all because of you, your support, your posts, your messages and what not.. keep it up.

Let’s Stay Strong! Let’s Stay Clean! And let’s be positive and happy, Yes! We can and we will do it! And Together!

Day #44

Today is #44, im happy that hashem sent me a half a year ago to this wonderful site, he gave me Koach and support and Daas to join this wonderful chaburah, called GYE, they saved me, they saved my family, who knows where it would take me at the end of this game? BH i can say, im on the right tracks now, yes, im still struggling, but at least i know that there is help out there, in case of emergency i have where to turn, im not alone, im part of GYE!!!! and im very proud of that!!!

i think we should change the color of this site and the logo to Gold, what ever its happening here is made out of gold, each and every member has a neshamah from gold, each and every post here, is made out of gold, they saved so many jewish lives, they saved so many family's, so many marriages, ברוחניות ובגשמיות, im not a volunteer, im working all day long, but i will ask each and every one of you, please donate something, even 1 dollar will make a difference, i also donated a little, i just cant afford that much, but when hashem will help me, ill donate a lot more, we all know the great cause of it, we owe to GYE our life, our soul, we have a place to get out our problems in a safe way, we have a place where we can get the right tools and help to fix our problem, we have the right place to get tooooons of chizuck it time of need, so please be kind donate something, every dollar counts. Thank You

May Hashem bless you with a Gmar Chasimah Tova in the Gold book!!!

Thank you all!!! Im still clean all because of you, your support, your posts, your messages and what not.. keep it up.

Let’s Stay Strong! Let’s Stay Clean! And let’s be positive and happy, Yes! We can and we will do it! And Together!

Shivisi_Hashem wrote on 27 Sep 2017 21:00:

Shivisi,

Firstly, כל הכבוד לך! Your dedication to posting continuous updates is truly remarkable. Thank you for inspiring me among others! 

אמן לכל הברכות וכן למר

 you wrote


Perhaps having the struggle is healthy. While I would not ask Hashem to challenge me, especially in this area, the one thing that makes us to grow stronger the most is the struggle. Picture a bodybuilder posing with weights in his hands. Are the weights in this imaginary picture 5 pound weights? No, it's probably 100 pounds. But the first time he stayed lifting weights, he may very well have stayed with 5 pounds. When that was too easy, he went up to 10 lbs. When that became too easy, he went up to 15, etc.  When the weight he was lifting stopped being a challenge, it meant two things: 1) he's stronger more than he was a few weeks before, when he couldn't lift the 5 lbs without a struggle, and now 5 lbs are easy. & 2) in order to continue growing, he must keep struggling.

II hope this makes sense, too tired to continue right now, but I think that's all I wanted to say

bb, your analogy makes sense. However we do daven "v'lo li'yedei nisayon" and in the 12 step system one asks Hashem to "take it away". Just a thought.