You did great last time if I recall correctly. No reason you won't kick this one out of the ballpark. 

P.S It's been a while but I remember really liking shrek. 

LifneiHashem wrote on 28 Apr 2017 00:48:

I'd try the beis medrash (even in Topeka), the weight room (you can use the 46oz. bells), early sleep, or write a letter to my wife (you can write to her, or to yours).

There's a Belzer Bais Medrash in Topeka?

Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 28 Apr 2017 01:16:

African Slonim

cordnoy wrote on 28 Apr 2017 01:14:

 with current circumstances I honestly feel that choosing to not be in front of the screen is beyond my bechira right now.
However, rather than fall into the YouTube hole I decided to keep off the internet and just buy a DVD. Now my issue is that instead of the planned cartoon, I ended up with a marvel franchise movie in my cart.  this is causing some serious internal strife. On the one hand it's just stupid action (which I love) and certainly not porn. On the other hand, I've been clean almost 8 months now. At the same time I quit porn I also stopped movies & tv. I know movies are full of triggers. It also offers the same "escape" as porn. It will also be stuck in my head for a long time, and can lead me back to porn. I will watch and feel sullied. On the other hand chill out. Isn't it incredible and amazing that THIS is the nisayon?! No conflict over porn, just if I'm going to watch a movie? Who do I think I am, mr. holy? On the other hand it's been almost 8 months of being clean, so clean. No pop culture garbage. finally starting to feel less attached to it. Do i need to get drawn in again? Watching this stupid movie will have me anicipating the next one. It's keeping the connection to that world, that culture. I'm a frum person. I daven & learn and don't let my kids watch tv. That's not me. On the other hand yes it is me. Just because I spend my life pretending to be a frummi doesn't make it so. It's not pornographic, just mindless action.. and cleavage & beautiful men & women. But i don't even want to watch it really. I just had a cumpulsion to buy it based on previous behavior and old habits. I don't need to watch it really and can just throw the DVD in the trash. But I bought it and will probably really want to see it at some point, so may as well now. Just because I gave up porn forever doesn't mean I gave up movies forever. What? I think I'll never watch movies again? Ha!

LifneiHashem wrote on 28 Apr 2017 03:01:

http://www.guardureyes.com/GUE/Images/leshem-pirud.pdf

Wow! Your post is so inspiring, it really sums up life. You can be clean for 8 months and still struggle. Lesson learned never be complacent in recovery until the last day, (and I was starting to feel like I'm under control after 5 days...)
I don't want to offer any suggestions since I don't even know your virtual you. For me I would've reconsidered the need to be on the computer. Probably would've bought a book and read that. Each to their own.
Hatzlacha Rabba! Hope to hear you were sucessful.

LifneiHashem wrote on 28 Apr 2017 03:01:

Lifnei,

The honesty is great.

Markz the l'shem yichud is cute. And only cute. 

It scared the HELL out of me

So for all of those out there waiting with bated breath for the outcome of my drama (...tumbleweeds...) in the end I settled for cold subpar Chinese food and an old issue of bina magazine. Why? Haven't figured that one out yet. Maybe I've finally grown up a little. I feel like I need to delve into and develop the idea that i really have changed on the inside and have outgrown certain needs and compulsions, but part of my consciousness hasn't caught up with that and still reverts to old habits. 
Or maybe nothing's changed & ive developed more sophisticated white knuckling techniques, and am unknowingly suppressing a very powerful spring that will end up bouncing back at me. That's been an ongoing fear from the beginning. 

MayanHamisgaber wrote on 28 Apr 2017 13:41:

Ashrecha.
Had this discussion been about porn, and the lshem yichud was for porn, would it stop you from acting out? More than once?

probably 

MayanHamisgaber wrote on 28 Apr 2017 13:59:

Markz quick please put together a lshem yichud for porn. We've found the Magic bullet!