LifneiHashem wrote:

After I say grace on you - yeah sure

Markz wrote on 29 Nov 2016 15:44:

'Fishel cannibalism thread (goes on and off through the next 3 pages)
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/204408-the-void?limit=15&start=60#215175

In general, the entertainment industry doesn't  give a damn about the followers, unless there's monetary or PR value. It's a business like any other.

I make sure to remember what I felt like after a fall, every day. And that's part of what keeps me from crossing that first "line"
in my case the point beyond no return is acouple days/weeks after crossing the first one.its a gradual decline.but the bottom is hell and a place I really hope b'ezras hashem not to visit again

How long have you been using this method, Meier? Has it helped you stay clean past the few weeks that you say are the trouble spots?

Hello,
I am pretty new here. I have a going toward 90-day forum thread, but was reading yours now.
L.H. I don't get it. You thought about some guy getting an std from a prostitute, and THAT kept you from watching porn videos and masturbating???
Also, if a person used a condom, which a lot of prostitutes insist on, then there would be very little risk of getting an std!
If it worked for you, great. But I don't get it.
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 M. I don't get it either. You honestly remember in detail what it felt like after you last fell?
I don't. Not in detail. Also, I was disappointed with myself for not having restrained my tyvahs. But it has been a LONG time since I cried over it and felt really, really bad. I would imagine it would not be such a healthy thing to get back into that mindset and relive those depressing feelings. I was told to move on and keep going forward. Do teshuva, yes. But don't focus on those feelings of charata every day...because they can be paralyzing.
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What should I think of before a fall in order to PREVENT a fall? I don't know. And I better figure it out (with help from you guys) quick, BEFORE the test comes. It has to make sense to me, even when I am in a very vulnerable position.
You can comment here or on my thread. Thank you.

Yosef Tikun HaYesod wrote:

Reading the story with the STD was not a long term solution. It was enough to snap me out of fantasy and back into the reality. BH I have never been holding anywhere near the desire to go to prostitutes, but it struck me that if I give in to P&M now it would lead me on the path to be in the hole this fellow is in now. 

It's a daily mindset and BH so far so goodIn my experience once I was already watching it was overWhat you have to do,is backtrack and find out what barriers to put in place so as to prevent you from getting to a point where it's a real tug of war.That's what I've been doing and BH it's worked so far.Take care of small problems and the big ones don't show up.for instanceIn our case that means training ourselves to keep our eyes down and if we find ourselves staring or looking around stop and think.think of where this leads us to Etc etc.That's what I meantSo yes that type of thinking helps me

Is this an answer to my question?

Meier wrote on 29 Nov 2016 16:36:

Actually, those of us who are addicted, we don't remember that feeling. The addiction causes us to forget. It is b'feirush in the white book someplace.

It's also in the Groisah Buch in one of the forwards.

cordnoy wrote on 29 Nov 2016 21:01:

I second that Cordnoy, our addiction lies to us with truth, it makes us remember the pleasure and crave for it again while making  us forget the pain....

YidFromMonsey wrote on 30 Nov 2016 00:13:

This is a scientific fact of addiction. Bill Wilson and Roy K hit the nail on the head about this,

Yosef Tikun HaYesod wrote on 29 Nov 2016 18:02:

When it comes down to it, in that moment, it's really not an intellectual battle. It's VERY rare to think yourself out of desire. If you're already in deep. The key is not to get deep. BH women don't walk around completely unclad (except in game of thrones) and the Yetzer Hora won't just throw at you a Schav I'mi like it did to Yosef (if anyone has an understanding of that, please let me know. It's not normal for a test to be so blatant... my pshat is that it was a progression... they were always in the same house together, always flirting with him, etc).
Intellect can work before you slip; do I choose to continue to look at that girl? Do I choose to browse youtube aimlessly because there's nothing else to do? At least your nefesh sichli has some airtime at that point. I think once you're seconds away from a fall, you need a mamish miracle.

Day 89
last night I needed to be on YouTube. I watched a National Geographic video on spiders for 10 minutes, then I went to bed feeling better.
I'd like to think this was a win but have a feeling it was a lose.