Hi I'm so frustrated I can't stop myself
i think about things I shouldn't all day I feel like such a Baal tavah and its so hard to stop, whenever I walk on the streets and see women I think about them
im going to try 90 days again but I know in the back (or maybe front) of my mind that I probably won't make it
here we go with day 1 wish me luck

You're better than me, I'm a bonafide  baal Tayva, you only feel like one

have you tried anything else on gye besides for the 90 day thingamajigye

First, stop feeling like a baal tayvah. You aare one and so is everyone else. It's completely natural to desire women. 

There's a story about a mashgach in an Israeli yeshiva that was approached by a bachur wanting to go to a chasuna of a secular relative of his. The mashgiach said "what about shmiras einaim?" The bachur said "I don't have problems with it". The mashgiach pulled some money from his pocket and gave it to the bachur and said to use it to go to a doctor because he's clearly sick.

(anyone remember who the rabbi is?)

Second, Luck has nothing to do with it. If all you're going to do is STOP cold turkey with no plan of course you're going to fall. 

How do you plan on staying clean? 
What tools will you use?
What gedarim are you setting for yourself?

Ina it's nice that you're helping mother for Pesach, but you gotta stop wielding the broom in the other hand when you write to a old newcomer, ok?

I have a soft spot in my heart for you
and a tomato in my other hand - hey catch, oops you're not quick enough, sorry, better luck next time

Mom it wasn't me (it was his reflexes)

inastruggle wrote:

I heard the story with reb Elya lopian and he didn't give him money but he told him "I'm 80(lav davka just and old age) and blind in one eye and it affects me you're gonna tell me it doesn't affect you"

Thanks guys it really helps knowing there are other people out there thinking of me
you all say don't just go cold turkey and I need other strategies, but what should I do???
 

helpmeout613 wrote:

I don't think any would tell you not to stop cold turkey I think it's just that it won't work 

welcome.

peloni almoni wrote:

Don't over-exert yourself

Aryeh821 wrote on 18 Apr 2016 16:32:

i am glad you are paying attention.

peloni almoni wrote:

So am I 

Welcome helpmeout613. Look and read around. Find stuff that you can try that might work for you. I was really overwhelmed at the beginning but I found what was in my means. I still struggle a lot and think that I need to change things up, but it's a working progress. 
Best of luck and keep us posted. 

Welcome,

You are amongst fellow strugglers.
Some of us have found a thing or two that works.....at least for today.
We wish you the same, and we think you can.

B'hatzlachah

Hello and welcome (i already wrote more then plonie,)

About the turkey (is it still cold?), i think what everyone is sayin (and i'm sure they will correct me if not) is we should definitly go cold turky (whatever that means), but if thats our only plan of action - most probably it won't last. We need stratgies in addition to the turkey. Even then it still might not last long term, but hay, all we gotta do is today. At least then we have a chance.







P.s. as far as stratagies are concerned, the gye handbook is a great place to start. Its packed with usefull info. Check it out and let us know.

I don't know if you're an addict or not, either way a good way to figure out a strategy and get some tips that you can benefit from would be to post what exactly you struggle with and what you feel you can do to stop. Then you can get some feedback. Obviously if you're an addict you may need more than that but this is a good way to start.

Just some questions to help you get started:

What is your access to porn like? Is it all day, any day or specific times? 
Do you struggle with masturbation only with porn or is it a problem without it?
Have you ever had a long streak? If yes, what helped?
Do you have anyone to reach out to when the temptation hits?
Why exactly do you want to stop? (it isn't so obvious sometimes)
Is the the pleasure you get from porn worth giving up for the pleasures of sobriety?
When is the urge the strongest?
When is it the weakest?