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Of Mice and Men- the weedle to 90
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TOPIC: Of Mice and Men- the weedle to 90 9834 Views

Re: Of Mice and Men- the weedle to 90 25 Feb 2016 21:07 #279277

  • realsimcha
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Watson wrote on 25 Feb 2016 19:13:
I think the 90 day mindset is based of the fallacy that something changes with 90 days sobriety. I can tell you from experience that sobriety alone changes nothing.

 

I dont think you can possibly have the ability to say what can or cant work for someone else. You, obviously, gain nothing from the 90 day concept. Thats great for you. Others - including those who are behind GYE - feel that it is an important goal. For me? Besides for the fact that apparently there is research that things do change in the wiring of the brain at around 90 days [sorry cords for quoting studies :) ] But its also the boost i need to keep at it. Its a goal to dream for and then its a precious thing to hold on to. Please dont suck the air of out someone else's dream. There is room for all of our different approaches to growth. Btw, I would imagine that very few people act out on day 91. I wonder if there is any way of knowing that? Sorry if am coming on strong ... 

Re: Of Mice and Men- the weedle to 90 25 Feb 2016 21:49 #279286

  • cordnoy
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Wo!
Gevurah.
I hope you didn't type out all those letters, numbers and symbols in that deleted text of yours.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
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Re: Of Mice and Men- the weedle to 90 25 Feb 2016 22:15 #279294

  • Workingguy
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Watson wrote on 25 Feb 2016 19:13:
Why not go for a streak of 120 years? Cos it's too long? So is 90 days. I can only stay sober one temptation at a time, irrespective of how many days I've been clean.

I think the 90 day mindset is based of the fallacy that something changes with 90 days sobriety. I can tell you from experience that sobriety alone changes nothing.

Things don't change - we do. We must change or relapse is inevitable.


You clearly have very strong feelings about this. Just to clarify though- if someone disagrees with you and said that for them seeing that they can do ninety days convinced them that they can do more, would you say it's a fallacy? If they said that success breeds success or their motivated by concrete goals (and 120 years probably didn't feel so concrete), would you still speak in such absolutes?

I've noticed that many people get turned off when any of us here say what does or doesn't absolutely work. When I spoke to Dov on the phone he mentioned that he can't tell anyone what works, just what works for him.

There are so many guys on the threads that have cobbled together sobriety from putting together various pieces of what everyone else does- it's the beauty of the forum that we can learn from the various things that everyone does, and for some people 90 days worked.

I can even understand sharing what didn't work for you, but I think saying it in absolute terms is off putting to many and not constructive.

Re: Of Mice and Men- the weedle to 90 25 Feb 2016 23:24 #279304

  • Markz
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Mr Mouse you can jump in your hole and skip what I will say here, it's not important for you

I'm discussing this, cos it may be productive...

I agree with the Doc but instead of saying it like it is, I use a little humor on page 1

I have not found one instance of sobriety with a 90 day chart ALONE as noted in the Towing page here. And if theoretically someone would come to me and say they succeeded against the facts, I'd highly suspect them of white knuckling, as I used to do that too

Reb WG, forgive me for being a rigid thinker, but... You started a great thread "Recovery Mistakes". If someone tries following the hole of someone else's "mistake", I will protest and send the cat, since I care about my brother

Mr mouse said "I am going to be clean for ninety days. Here we go..."
Sort of like "goodbye guys, I haven't made any other plans, see you then..."


well... ... I wish him well

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Re: Of Mice and Men- the weedle to 90 25 Feb 2016 23:32 #279306

  • cordnoy
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As they "go" for 90 days, they tend to pick up other methods.
Those methods are difficult to obtain at Day 1.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
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Re: Of Mice and Men- the weedle to 90 25 Feb 2016 23:40 #279309

  • Watson
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I honestly didn't realise what I wrote was so controversial. And I don't mean to get anyone upset. Of course everyone should do what works for them. If having in mind to stay clean for 90 days helps a person get clean permanently that's absolutely fantastic. I have no problem with that.

But if a person cannot stay clean permanently this way then there is a problem that needs to be addressed, and not swept under the carpet just because it sounds too negative. People's lives are at stake here.

Re: Of Mice and Men- the weedle to 90 25 Feb 2016 23:43 #279311

  • Watson
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R' Markz, you're right, humour goes a lot further than my style of writing. But there's only so many times I can cycle through my 3 jokes.

Re: Of Mice and Men- the weedle to 90 25 Feb 2016 23:49 #279313

  • Watson
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OK, how's this then:

guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/279312-90000-Ways-to-stay-clean-in-20-words-or-less

Re: Of Mice and Men- the weedle to 90 25 Feb 2016 23:49 #279314

  • Workingguy
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Markz,

I was specifically acknowledging that in my response to Dr. Watson- these are my mistakes and my experiences, but I wouldn't deny or question someone else who claims that the things that I say are mistakes work for them.

I think, as the twelve steps say, that we want to engage through attraction. Addict or whatever you want to call them to seem to have a very hard time with people telling them what to do, what to think, what they are- and it's a learning process.

Me reading your experience reinforced my feeling that I can just stop, reading other people's taught me other things, and even though I'm not a huge fan of the 90 days thing, like Cordnoy said, it's a great way to make the space to learn some tools.

I haven't even seen anyone really claim that it is a goal in and of itself.

Re: Of Mice and Men- the weedle to 90 26 Feb 2016 00:28 #279318

  • cordnoy
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As I told somebody the other day: this WG guy speaks my language.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Of Mice and Men- the weedle to 90 26 Feb 2016 01:42 #279326

  • realsimcha
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cordnoy wrote on 25 Feb 2016 21:49:

I hope you didn't type out all those letters, numbers and symbols in that deleted text of yours.

huh?

Re: Of Mice and Men- the weedle to 90 26 Feb 2016 02:07 #279333

  • cordnoy
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realsimcha wrote on 26 Feb 2016 01:42:

cordnoy wrote on 25 Feb 2016 21:49:

I hope you didn't type out all those letters, numbers and symbols in that deleted text of yours.



huh?

It was addressed to gevurah.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Of Mice and Men- the weedle to 90 26 Feb 2016 02:12 #279335

  • Markz
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Gevura wrote a MONSTAH POST
you know French?



Click here to see the first half
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Re: Of Mice and Men- the weedle to 90 26 Feb 2016 02:14 #279336

  • gevura shebyesod
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I tried pasting in something but it messed up and came out as a screenful of mishkebabble so I deleted it. 
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל


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Re: Of Mice and Men- the weedle to 90 26 Feb 2016 02:21 #279338

  • cordnoy
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Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 26 Feb 2016 02:14:
I tried pasting in something but it messed up and came out as a screenful of mishkebabble so I deleted it. 

It takes up an entire page and a half.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.
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