Lizhensk wrote:


#MASKIM!

BenTorah.BaalHabayis wrote:



Please don't worry about being out of line! I now find myself in a society where having a girlfriend (stam) is close to unnacceptable, so I hear where you're coming from completely. For reasons which BN one day but not right now I will explain, I am 100% convinced that it is not negatively affecting me (sorry for being annoyingly mysterious, it's a very fair question). To just add one thing to temper that response for anyone who comes from a similar background to me, there's no question in my mind that being in a shomer negia relationship for its own sake is mutar, it's VADAI ASSUR. And that's not as a psak, because who am I (although I'd put on money on any respectable posek going that way too), but just from first hand experience.

Next, all these "Thank yous"...who are they to and why? Not following, bit lost and bemused, but it is entertaining. Thanks to all of you out there.

Anyhow, for anyone keeping count it comes to 5 days no pornography, and 52 days of no masturbation. Okay I admit this score thing is a bit weird. And it may have been noticed that since Friday I have not been Makpid to post everyday and update the count etc etc.

Why? Because I've attempted to take the advice written on here SUPER seriously. The way I've understood it, surrendering doesn't mean to surrender the individual urges when they come but rather, to surrender the whole fight. To "get out of the ring". And how? By attempting "simply but not easily" to dedicate every moment to Avodat Hashem. Every moment. It's intense and all encompassing but it's also removing myself from the ring. Obviously I'm going to keep posting and updating, bn, but at the same time it's no longer part of my routine. I'm getting out of the ring, and I will keep everyone posted on how it's going.

But so far really great.

The fight has stopped. And it's time to change the picture, more relevant to Shemot, Moshe, the bush on fire, living the life of a pure Eved Hashem.

Moving on...

My friend,

I think surrender DOES refer to individual urges that the YH tries to pull us into the ring, and previously we would jump in the ring and hit him and... you know the rest...

Dedicating every moment to Avodas Hashem, is definitely a great idea, but not connected to "surrender", and also hasn't worked for me to gain 100% sobriety for today - if it works for you, cool

There are many links I could give you to read if you have a couple of min, I think these by skeptical HERE are great, but please don't stop there, each guy has to find what works for him. Checkout more stories in my towing assistance page

Hatzlacha

Dedicating every moment to avodas Hashem is a noble goal, but that is not the definition of surrender.

In SA we say that "we made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of god as we understood him", it doesn't say we turned out lust to god. It says we turned our WILL and our LIVES over. Lust isn't my problem, it's my solution. I don't know how to live like a normal human being so I am in the process of turning over my life to god and letting him run it. If ysftw means that he will turn his life over to god, then I applaud that effort. It doesn't have to be a religious thing of davening or learning all day, it can be a spiritual turning over of one's life, knowing that he is in control and he will take over my will if I let him. I just read in the 12 and 12 on step 7 that if at any moment we think we can do this alone, that moment we are not connected to god. The only way to work the program to it's fullest is by having complete humility. Do I have it? No. Am I trying to achieve that? Yes, one day at a time.

ysftw wrote:

underneath each post (except those posted by you), theres a little button that says thank you. Its a nice gesture to show the poster that you liked his post

Shlomo24 wrote:


Another phenomenal post thanks so much! I too am attempting this derech one day at a time.

Thanks for your continued advice

Hi all, still clean BH.

Had a truly brilliant week last week, not acknowledging my own desires, rather pursuing Ratzon Hashem to the best of my ability.

This week has been a little tougher to maintain that focus, a lot of low level stress which seemed to get in the way. Anyway I've identified the source, which seems to me to be based on eating a lot of junk food, all that sugar etc clearly makes me irritable, so I've stripped it away, and it seems my head has unfogged. Still, throughout that time I persevered, and there wasn't really so many moments of temptation, at the moment, it's really just a question of not even entertaining them for me, "not getting in the ring" and just getting on with the business of being trying to be the best eved Hashem I can be.

On that note...pushing on....

I'm gonna be following you again on the sidelines

Diet can help, more often it's 'why do I binge in the first place' - however this is secondary and may be irrelevant to recovery from lust

Sorry, can't put my finger on it, but in my experience you have yet to set your life for success

markz wrote:
I just saw this now about diet HERE.. So... You never know

newaction wrote:

Haven't posted for a while on here but bh still going strong.
I as of today I haven't masturbated in 70 days, a personal best and something I'm very proud of.
And I'm on 18 days of no porn, it always strikes me as crazy how must time rushes by since a fall. It's a very special phenomenon. Also compared to last time I think it's going faster because I'm not counting days.
Yes I'm still having lustfuk thoughts on a daily basis but so far they have t gripped me. I'm really doing my best to up my avodah outside of all of this and that's seemingly going well to, challenging but well, sending best wishes.to everyone else out there

ysftw wrote:

Really happy to hear that you're doing well. Keep up the good work. Looking forward for your next update!

Still plodding on slowly, it takes time but at times I feel that there is a deep set attitude change. ."it's not me anymore, it's not something I do" ah well early days still, it's just always a good reminder for me to not get into the ring always a good idea

This is getting wild! It's already been  5 weeks since my last fall into watching pornography, but I've been shomer habit for 86 days. Crazy. Bh!

Amazing

KEEP on Trucking!!!