Hi hi everyone at GYE!
I've been on this website now since early April of this year. 7 months of trying, and B'H in that time I've managed to cut down my falls from a near daily occurrence, to every once in a while. On the one hand this symbolises growth, on the other, I feel to an extent I have thus far failed. Whilst I have gone long periods without falling (although never yet reaching that "90" stage), I still have not yet managed to stop. And, had you asked me 7 months ago what I would have considered this, I would probably have said failure.
Indeed there are moments where I really wonder if it's impossible for me to break the habit completely. Sometimes it is so strong it overrides everything else, and I feel like something other than who I am takes control of my body and does with it what it pleases, and I am a slave to it. Like I said I am close to this narrative. I feel like I am close to hitting rock bottom, without the stupidity to really believe quitting will be a snap of the fingers.
If you want to see my story thus far it is here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/251963-Giving-it-a-go-one-day-at-a-time
What I will say which has worked so far and B'N will continue to is the use of the Taphsic method. Indeed I only seem to fall when I don't have a shavuah (still have no clue about the halachik legitimacy of making this neder but if it stops me from doing more then, well, I suppose it's a good thing).
Anyway, I'm writing this with the optimism of someone who just fell. Indeed on my 90 day chart I have yet to have one whole day clean. This is a sad state of affairs.
Never the less, sometimes you have to be insanely idealistic and hope that the world conforms to your vision of what it can be, and that you can too.
For me, I no longer have the choice whether to keep going or to stop, I must stop due to many many factors, which at this stage at least will remain anonymous.
In this forum which I've optimistically called "Success Story", I will do my utmost write completely openly and honestly, without trying to write my words for an "audience", I will try to hold nothing of my emotional state back.
The aim here is that, starting with not a single day under my belt, and a track-record of failure I will show that it is possible to turn things around, and there will be no tricks either (yes I will be working on my personal growth separately), but the only two items I will be making use of, are the Taphsic shavuot, and my willpower. Today is November 13th 2015 (1st of Kislev 5776), in 90 days it will be February 11th 2016 (2nd of Adar I, 5776), and from this day until that one this Topic will detail my success story of making it to 90, it is possible, and I will commit to being an example of how.
Every single day of those 90 days I will post something on this topic, I can't guarantee it will be more than "still going...easy day", although I do hope to add insight often etc.
The point, again, is to show that it is possible.
Where this blog will go after those 90 days I am uncertain, we'll have to see, perhaps another 90 day challenge.
The point being...it's possible, and what follows will attest to that...
See you on the other side.

Welcome to the boxing ring (your avatar image)

We will be here to cheer you on!!!

I'd like to introduce you to some current regulars that can help you in your fight

Boxing gloves - Yesod
Helmet (Mexican) - Peloni Almoni
Referee - Cordnoy
Backup support - Moshe271
A fictitious object - Siri
Free surrender flags - Shlomo24

If you want to have a boxing match with a horse ask Eslaasos (his avatar image)
Anyone that their name was skipped... Sorry I'm tired

markz wrote:


I wish everyone hatzlachah, but I will not get into the ring with the game plan mentioned above. Ysfk2w can, and so can others, for WW, but it's not for me.

B'hatzlachah.....we are rootin' for you.

I've only trying to break free since 3 months. So far I managed to get to 64 days, had a slip and now I'm onto my second journey.
IMHO I wouldn't rely too much on willpower; for years I wanted to get clean but something stronger than my willpower always got the upper hand.
Interesting enough one of the things I learned from my slip is not to become depressed, this would only lead you further down and back to square one.
As a newbie I'm still learning to cope but I'm pretty sure that willpower shouldn't be THE strategy.
Anyway, i wish you a lot of hatzlacha and hope you prove me wrong for your sake.

markz wrote:



cordnoy wrote:



I NOMINATE MOM AS REFEREE INSTEAD OF CORDNOY

btw, welcome. your avatar reminded me of this:

Day 1 complete. 89 days to go.

Thanks for all the posts...Always nice to know you're not alone...the last picture made me laugh a lot. But well spotted, I like the Jacob vs the angel story, it gives good chizuk.

I should mention that it's not JUST willpower, I have taken on a few chumras, and new commitments to help me along the way. But I've learned over some time that it's better to view the core component as being willpower and not attempt to rely on a shtick. The bottom line is that it all very much comes down to you, and how hard you are prepared to fight even at the darkest hour.

Today, B'H, was fairly easy, a few hirhurim here and there but nothing that was impossible to snap out of. The campaign is up and running with, as always, a deceptively simple flying start.

As a side point I think it will be funny to name my yetzer something ridiculous, both for myself, and for this thread, will be taking suggestions in the next few days, if you have anything good let me know?

Shavuah Tov.

ysftw wrote:

Until what?

ysftw wrote:

How about TITANIC
Zemiros Shabbos wrote:



Zemiros Shabbos also wrote:

This is very teef. Come back to me in a month to explain this one to you

I am not sure if Willpower is not SHTICK!!!

Day 2 complete. 88 days to go.

{^until I complete the 90 day challenge}

Again, thankfully, an easy day, firing on all cylinders.

I've settled on "Sid" for the name of my yetzer. Just cos.

And I will be documenting my fight with Sid for the next 88 days.

Sid kept himself to himself today which was considerate of him.

And lomed, how can willpower be shtick? It just means fighting your yetzer (Sid) head on.

I've also made a new Taphsic shavuah for the next few weeks which is reassuring.

Day 3 complete. 87 days to go.

BH Sid is still quiet but inspiration is ebbing away so it's going to be brute willpower from here on in. Bracing myself.

Let's do it

Keep it up

Looks like Sid has met his match... Keep on punchin till he's down bro. (And pls have me in mind when u do

I just read the thread for the first time so here goes:
Willpower is the issue for you? You didn't REALLY WANT to stop before so now you plan on REALLY WANTING to stop? Can you clarify this for me?

4 days complete. 86 days to go.

To clarify what I mean by willpower, of course the desire to stop was always there. Of course. Although not really of course, one can always say that you didn’t want it ENOUGH etc. That's the general desire.
When I say willpower I mean:

in the moment between you and your Yetzer it's your Yetzer vs Your Willpower. Your yetzer presents the tempting option, uses everything it has, puts forward the most enticing argument you've ever heard. Against this you may try to bring up all sort of thoughts for the other side, against the yetzer. Sometimes you are successful and you manage to convince yourself that it's better not to give in at least for now.

But regardless, with or without the thoughts on the other side, there is still always the choice whether or not to give in. Your yetzer makes it so you want to so badly, but however tempting things are, there is always a choice, there is always the ability to say no. However hard that is, and wherever it is buried, you chose to act, or not to act on your yetzer. Willpower that I'm speaking of is realising that and committing, that, no matter what, there will always be a choice to not give in, and committing in advance (and B'H forever) to always decide against the yetzer. That is something within ones power. It's a choice.

And that, and very little else, is the commitment I'm making. Because tricks, bells, and whistles, at the end of the day, that's what it comes down to.