B"H im clean for ten days so far which feels great, but i dont know if its good to think abt it too much because i can always fall!!

Im staying clean B"H, but i desperately need help to stop lusting, everywhere i go, i lust!! can anyone give me some tips how to avoid thinking thoughts like these?!

When you have a lust thought, quickly think of an orange.

Now, try as hard as you can to NOT think about the orange.

Eventually, you'll be focusing so hard on getting the orange out of your head, you'll forget you were originally trying to get lust out.

All this was scary. We couldn't see the path ahead, except that others had gone that way before. Each new step of surrender felt it would be off the edge into oblivion, but we took it. And instead of killing us, surrender was killing the obsession! We had stepped into the light, into a whole new way of life.

SA

Wow i have not posted in a long time, (though ive been around). I would like to hear what everyone thinks (or knows) about this: 
I am really nervous because i am going into shiduchim soon and if i dont have my masturbation under control, my mind is just warped!! I feel i wont be able to make an honest desicion! I feel i cant push it off, because i feel that i need marriage to stabilize myself and i cant wait, i am on the way to 90 days and i think ill be clean with Hashems help when i start going out?
I cant give enough thanks for everyone being here for me!
 

Sasha 2 wrote on Unknown:

welcome back , instead of being nervous , start doing something for your recovery.
Marriage wont help you! Recovery will.
Hatzluche

doingtshuva wrote on Unknown:

I def. agree and im trying to work on it, my question though is with recovery is 90 days ok and enough to feel safe to start (bec i feel i cant wait longer! - not because of lust)

Is it enough to run the program; the 90 days, read the book etc. or do i need more?Welcome back!



IMHO 30 days can sometimes be a cool Shidduch number too



Care to share what has worked for you in the past 10 months

I think you need to speak to a mentor, mashgiach or rebbe, for thirty days or ninety days is not the magical answer, and what is it that you can't wait longer for?

I was thinking yesterday about what I wrote here, based on what I heared from Rabbi Twersky about being dry drunk, and have to delete what I wrote above about a timeline, although I meant to say if you have a program in place then 90 days isn't necessarily the magic #, whereas if you have no program in place, then the sexaholic inside just stays dormant until the bear re-awakens it, which may be the day you get married, or any other time it rears its beautiful head

cordnoy wrote on Unknown:

I had first started the 90 days a while back & i was very involved solely because i finally found a way out of this, but when i fell and i wasn't on that first streak i felt that i didnt care and i didnt have the courage to push through! Only recently did i (i hope) fully realize the mess i was in and i feel that i really want to be clean & i find its even easier then last time around (although at times it aint easy) & i feel i have the real drive to finally stop once and for all!

I find the Taphsic method works for me as well as parts of the steps (surrender etc.) - I never fully got involved in the full 12 steps because the times dont work out for me in yeshiva.

I dont feel that i can bring myself to speak to one of my rebbeim even though i know i should have long ago!

The reason i feel i cant wait is because all my friends are mostly married and i feel left out.

I got married later than all my friends so I can understand your feelings.
Btw' then as an older single is when I started to work on my recovery, I was clean for a year, got married and after some time being married I fell back.
I wish you an easy recovery and may hashem help you find your right zivug.

Sasha 2 wrote:

Any married friends that have your struggle may be having a lot harder time recovering than you

On the married forum an oft quoted line is "Without disclosing to my wife, how can I go to a SA meeting?"

If I was in your shoes I wouldn't push off marriage at all, and I would also not delay real recovery till I'm 90 years old. This lust problem doesn't go away, it can only get worse...

What does twelve steps have to do with time?
I don't know if you need it, but it sounds like you need something, especially due to the hiding.
If you have an issue, I wouldn't rush into marriage.

B'hatzlachah

cordnoy wrote on Unknown:

What i meant is to work on it with the groups.