after meeting again with the therapist, he asked me so what are my concerns and questions for him. I posed two questions. 1 if what i am doing for my addiction till now is enough, or i would need much more, such as therapy and/or live SA fellowship? 2 i had other issues that i felt were affecting my performance in other areas in life. i asked can i deal with it separately or i have to tie it to the sex addiction issue?

1 he said he would not push me to live SA meetings. although he felt I can benefit from it, he felt that he would not push me, as long as keep on doing what i did till now, such as going on GYE forum, connecting with others, and phone conference.

He explained that there is in alcohol two kind (or many more) of people. there is DEPENDENT and there is ABUSER. A dependent cannot keep off of the substance even when he is in trouble, such as his wife is on top of him. an abuser can be clean for significant periods when he is need to be off the substance. An abuser is very close to become dependent. a person that can demonstrate a longer streak of being clean, would rather be defined as an abuser, and not dependent.

If I would come to him 10 month ago, he would definitely define me as a dependent. Since I came to him after demonstrating 250 clean days, he felt that I am rather an abuser. if i have a way to stay clean then I should keep doing what helps me stay clean, and not push myself to live SA meetings.

Here is a link more about this issue.

For the second issue that I brought up, and was discussed in length, he felt i would need therapy. But not necessarily an addiction therapist. He (which is an addiction therapist) said that the therapist needs to be aware of the sex issue I have. Then he should tackle the other issues. He actually felt that perhaps tackling the other issues may have a positive effect on the lust issue.

thanks for reading.

WOW! i went to an addiction therapist who said the same thing. so what are you going to do with that knowledge?

Shlomo24 wrote:


Well as he said, I will keep doing what I did untill now. I am now searching for a therapist, and maybe I will go for therapy to this therapist.

will see be"h

lomed wrote:
My friend
Do you mean this is what you used to do? Or is this your current situation that M is still a regular tradition?

markz wrote:


i used to do it, And can do it at any given day. Hoping to stay sober today.

You wrote "I have been..."
Which in simple English means I have recently been

So thanks for clarifying

KOT!!

hi all chevra,

I have not updated my thread for a long time. BH i am clean for 336 days, and counting one day at a time. there is a big turn in terms of my recovery that I would like to share with you. I started going to SA meetings this week Sunday.

What Happened?
Well, as I wrote I am seeing a therapist. I will try to make it short. Till a year ago I was the happiest person in the world. just one little problem of sex issues, and thats it. At least that is what i thought. However that was not the true facts. I have many issues that i buried with porn and masturbation. once the drug was taken away, i cannot go on with life. life is tough the last year, although I am gratefull to be clean for so long.

After going for therapy a few times, my therapist told me, that if I really want to get helped I need to go to SA meetings. To be honest I felt the same before that, but was confirmed by my therapist. This week is tough on me, as starting to face real people is not an easy thing. However I got to meet many real nice and supportive people. The pain of opening up to others is very tough, and even more my wife is taking it very hard, which is making things tough at home.

I thank Hashem for bringing me to GYE and getting me clean, I thank him for giving me the courage to walk in to a meeting in my own town, where i got to meet people that i know. i pray for his help to get me to recovery from this mess.

You're a great truck to follow, and another major badge on your success story in the making, and I added you a Karma (why can't I give 10 in 1 shot ????????????)

Now, Lomed
I don't know you AT ALL, but I have a great imagination and since I think it may help others I take leisure to write as follows

According to what I gathered from reading your posts, you're a chassidishe yid, so

In other words - you're joining a SA Group in Williamsburg / Bnei Brak / Monroe or somewhere in between.

Now here's someone interested in real trucking upgrades!!!

Lomed - Whenever you need an avatar Trucking image I'll be glad to offer one for you

markz wrote:


non of the above. but Yes i am Chasidish and attended 2 painful meetings in my city where i met 7 people that i know from before! OUCH. But the group as a whole was very welcoming including those that i know from before..

Welcome to the dark side

Shlomo24 wrote:
Did you have to ?

Lomed

Sorry to hear
Great to hear

Iyh it should help you deal with all the stuff.

B'hatzlachah

אודה ה' מאד בפי ובתוך רבים אהללנו

I would like to take a moment and share the gratitude that I have today, reaching A full year of sobriety. I thank Hashem that after 17 years of acting out, He took me and gracefully brought to this point. This accomplishment is a thing that I would swear you a year ago that it will never happen. However Hashem has had רחמנות on me and helped get here.

עד הנה עזרוני רחמיך ולא עזבוני חסדיך, you have helped me so much to get here, I ask from you please, if I may, ואל תטשינו לנצח, please dont leave me alone. i cant do this in my own, hashem help me stay sober one day at a time, and help me heal from all my difficulties ad to be able to accept what I cannot change ant to live the life the way you hashem wants for me.

At this time it is understanded to thank a few friends especially Dov and Belmont. Without you I would never have succeeded, you were a Shaliach from Hashem to be at my side. The same goes to all members that I have had contact here. May Hashem grant us all true sobriety and recovery, may we all heal from this and live up to what hashem wants for us.

Last but not least I want to extend my thanks to the Guard your eyes organization. Yes I owe you my life.

Thank you

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! 

KUTGW!!!

Hi Lomed, its been a while. Are you still goin to meetings?