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Getting out of Isolation and connecting with others is an important part of recovery. This board is for non-addiction related threads, where members exchange jokes, have fun - and drink Lechayim Together!
TOPIC: Dirty Jokes - See 1st Post 37027 Views
Re: Dirty Jokes 18 Nov 2015 04:04 #268918
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Have a corny day ... and if you do have other plans, change 'em!!
peloni_almoni@hotmail.com None of us has it all together, but together, we have it all. we always put our sobriety before our ego - מוטב שאקרא שוטה כל ימי ואל אהיה רשע שעה אחת לפני המקום לפעולות אדם בדבר שפתיך אני שמרתי אורחות פריץ. תמוך אשורי במעגלותיך בל נמוטו פעמי. תהלים יז __________________________________________________________ LINKS: - SOLUTIONS: WHERE DO I FIT IN TO GYE - DOWNLOAD GYE HANDBOOK & READ AT LEAST TWICE - OVERDOSE OF DOV: READING MATERIAL TO KEEP ME SANE - THE BEST THREAD ON THE FORUM; READ, POST, AND HAVE A GREAT TIME |
Re: Dirty Jokes 19 Nov 2015 04:00 #269021
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My Story---------Dov Quotes
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk ➣ Nice Trucking Story |
Re: Dirty Jokes 19 Nov 2015 04:00 #269022
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My Story---------Dov Quotes
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk ➣ Nice Trucking Story |
Re: Dirty Jokes 19 Nov 2015 04:33 #269030
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My Story---------Dov Quotes
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk ➣ Nice Trucking Story |
Re: Dirty Jokes 26 Nov 2015 01:58 #269703
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Some can't wait for Black Friday
yilbash she'chorim  One day Yankel succombed to eating a small piece bacon. He felt so remorseful that he had nightmares and couldn't sleep at all for a whole week. In the end Yankel became quite depressed about it. So he decided to go and see the rabbi. "Hmm..., a small piece of bacon" said the rabbi, "you must start regularly attending shul, and after each prayer during the day you must say three chapters of tehillim." Yankel agreed. As soon as he could he went to shul and joined in the Mincha prayers. Then he sat down on a bench, picked up a sefer and started to read his three chapters of tehillim. Yankel couldn't help noticing a chassid sitting next to him, with the full garb - black hat, black payot, long black beard, dressed in a black frock coat. The chassid was also reading from the sefer tehillim, but not three chapters --- it looked like 20 or even more the way he was whizzing through them... No! It was forty chapters! Yankel was shocked. He thought to himself, "Such a pious Jew, with his black hat, payot and beard - and he would eat so much Treif!" |
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My Story---------Dov Quotes
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk ➣ Nice Trucking Story |
Re: Dirty Jokes 29 Nov 2015 00:22 #269842
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cordnoy wrote:
Strugglingtomakeit wrote: I made a resolve to not go on GYE after 9 PM. I find that i am more vulnerable at night, and that reading the forum will sometimes depending on what it surrounds, will arouse my mind and lead to the "bad" things. So I took a resolve on myself to stay away at night, so far its working. Before i would be on the forum, i don't know if i was on to become aroused while reading or it just happened and then i would fall. I hoping to Keep this current streak going right now I'm at 9 days my longest in a while. markz wrote: Hey bro - im with you all the way Nobody should go onto Guard your Eyes - its too dangerous - you should remove your filters too Im sticking to youtube!! You should have made this a private post  - I'm worried Cordnoy will see this. But hey - who cares, he might join too  !Yeah Cordnoy! Yo! Can you just shutdown GYE altogether  ?[I have sane comments to make too, but later...] Sorry; i belong to too many groups as it is. |
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My Story---------Dov Quotes
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk ➣ Nice Trucking Story |
Re: Dirty Jokes 02 Dec 2015 00:46 #270082
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My Story---------Dov Quotes
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk ➣ Nice Trucking Story |
Re: Dirty Jokes 03 Dec 2015 03:11 #270203
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My Story---------Dov Quotes
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk ➣ Nice Trucking Story |
Re: Dirty Jokes 06 Dec 2015 00:47 #270500
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My Story---------Dov Quotes
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk ➣ Nice Trucking Story |
Re: Dirty Jokes 06 Dec 2015 04:10 #270528
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My Story---------Dov Quotes
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk ➣ Nice Trucking Story |
Re: Dirty Jokes 06 Dec 2015 05:32 #270538
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This was supposed to be the first post, but who said this thread was supposed to be clean
markz wrote: Shlomo24 wrote:
... cordy is drop dead funny. w/o humor this forum would suck. i just came from an SA meeting that was FUN! there was a lot of laughter and also a lot of seriousness when necessary (a guy even cried at the meeting abt his divorce). i have found that nothing can take me out of a bad mood as good as humor I'm gonna say two things that at least one person won't like 1) "In too many cases, there's at least one person that doesn't like something each person writes on the forum" 2) There are many many trucks heading to the final destination "There's no one sobriety tool that works for everyone" Some take gas, some take diesel, some beer... Whatever it takes! "There's no one joke that works for everyone" Guys that take gas eg Cordnoy, Shlomo, need to share jokes that diesel truckers, like myself think are crude (oil). In my first days I reported one of Cord's jokes to the moderator I'm waiting for a reply. I know what it's gonna be and diesel truckers should KOT and not click on this  Warning: Spoiler!Please respect when someone shares a joke, to click 'Thank you' and laugh, or ignore and KOT. This applies to everyone. When someone shares a joke on the having fun forum, and you don't like it, let him have his fun and KOT Hey Cordnoy watch out - did you see what I wrote under "you know you're on gye too long when... Warning: Spoiler! |
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My Story---------Dov Quotes
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk ➣ Nice Trucking Story |
Re: Dirty Jokes 06 Dec 2015 13:26 #270548
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markz wrote:
A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him. The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he'd stay with him for a little bit and show him what to do. The rabbi comes and he and the priest are in the confessional. A few minutes later a woman comes in and says "Father forgive me for I have sinned." The priest asks "What did you do?". The woman says "I committed adultery." Priest: "How many times?" Woman: "Three times." Priest: "Say two Hail ***s, put $5 in the box and go and sin no more." A few minutes later a man enters the confessional. He says "Father forgive me for I have sinned." Priest: "What did you do?" Man: "I committed adultery." Priest:"How many times?" Man: "Three times." Priest: "Say two Hail ***s put $5 in the box and go and sin no more." The rabbi tells the priest that he thinks he's got it so the priest leaves. A few minutes later another woman enters and says "Father forgive me for I have sinned." Rabbi: "What did you do?" Woman: "I committed adultery." Rabbi: "How many times?" Woman: "Once." Rabbi: "Go do it two more times. We have a special this week, three for $5." Mark, I'm shocked.  I could see you as the rabbi and doing this. You are the funniest person on here imho.keep these coming. |
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I am not a therapist offering advice. I am merely a concerned poster and Friend.. You can do it. KOT.
Please chat me anytime. I'm all ears. Thank You Thank you... Shmuly |
Re: Dirty Jokes 06 Dec 2015 13:56 #270549
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shmulyz18 wrote:
Mark, I'm shocked. I could you as the rabbi and doing this. You are the funniest person on here imho.keep these coming. peloni almoni wrote: speaking of trucks and where you can put them ... make sure not to park in the helige rebbe rav mark's spot ...  If you park in the Rabbi's spot, you may be Cementing the Relationship forever, as internet wrote: A man who drives a cement mixer truck for a living notices a strange car parked in his driveway. He blows his horn repeatedly to no avail. As revenge he fills the car with concrete. He walks into his house with shouts of "Mazel Tov" to discover that the car was a present from his wife peloni almoni wrote: i found a picture with REB mark and peloni almoni (the mexican כנ"ל)
 but who is the third rabbi? cords? me sayin'? mom? (he does look judgemental...) gevurah? |
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My Story---------Dov Quotes
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk ➣ Nice Trucking Story |
Re: Dirty Jokes 13 Dec 2015 17:58 #271159
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I am frustrated and need to get this off my chest:pinch:
There was this real bad guy infiltrated the website and was kicked off today - he tried to send me bad stuff... I need to vent:angry: Thank Gd gye has this place for me to do that in a non-violent way, as follows the.guard wrote: (Emo Philips) I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said “Stop! Don’t do it!” “Why shouldn’t I?” he said. “Well, there’s so much to live for!” “Like what?” “Well… are you religious?” He said yes. I said, “Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?” “Christian.” “Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant ? “Protestant.” “Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?” “Baptist” “Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?” “Baptist Church of God!” “Me too! Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you reformed Baptist Church of God?” “Reformed Baptist Church of God!” “Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?” He said, “Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!” I said, “Die, heretic scum”, and pushed him off.  |
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My Story---------Dov Quotes
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk ➣ Nice Trucking Story |
Re: Dirty Jokes 21 Dec 2015 03:56 #271918
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If anyone claims thoughts of depression or suicide, besides for the guy the previous post was for, it's just not worth it
Why die such a painful death, when you can do it peacefully like my grandpa in his sleep Warning: Spoiler! |
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My Story---------Dov Quotes
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk ➣ Nice Trucking Story |