Guys leave Shlomo alone he's nice

You can tear me apart
I'm going to sleep soon gnite
I'll pick up the pieces tomorrow

Gevura Shebyesod wrote:

AND you revived Cordnoy from the dead - he gave you a thank you last night!

Thanks Gevura, never underestimate your strength!!

Toucan feels sad.....

markz wrote:


You are one proud trucker, with some proud truck gabbaim.

Mesayin I'm forever grateful to you for going to the dealer and picking out my truck avatar picture, for all you guys it was his idea sent to me via PM.

When you reach 90 days could you shorten your signature?
Like I just said to Yesod anything long looks like spam, and some of our brains can't read more than 2 lines... Sorry I wrote 2 much already

i found a picture with REB mark and peloni almoni (the mexican כנ"ל)


but who is the third rabbi? cords? me sayin'? mom? (he does look judgemental...) gevurah?

Shlomo24 wrote:


mr. froot loops!!!! chass veshalom!!!! there is no sadness on this blog. remember, we only roast the ones we love.

עלץ לבי בה' רמה קרני בה' - אל תקרי קרני אלא
corny

here - we even roast moses:







DISCLAIMER - FOR THE PURPOSES OF THIS POST, MOSES IS NOT MOSHE RABBEINU CHASS VESHALOM, RATHER A FICTIONAL CHARACTER. SO PLEASE HOLD YOUR MACHA'A. (yes, i am talking to you you know who you are) (mom)

This is to celebrate 500 posts BH

peloni almoni wrote:

IF YOU PARK IN THE RABBI'S SPOT
You will be Cementing the Relationship

internet wrote:

markz wrote:


Ahem.....what movie were you watchin'?

cordnoy wrote:


reb markz - i am truly PROUD to host your 500th post. that you for choosing peloni almoni's hard-core unfiltered cornography blog for all your posting needs. have a corny day.

cords - ברוך מחיה המתים

What in Lords name is going on in this place

Yesod wrote:


welcome friend. you have much to learn.

Okay, here is a really disturbing problem I am having repeatedly. And I am wondering if anyone else is having the same problem. Brace yourself, it sounds really weird, but it is true.

So, specifically during Krias Shema, my mind almost immediately brings up silly jokes that I have heard in the past....

Gevura Shebyesod wrote:


follow these easy steps:
1. take a pen and paper to shul
2. when these jokes enter your mind, stop, and write them down
3. after davening, review them for quality purposes
4. immediately after davening, post them to this website
5. be sure to indicate by each joke which part of davening/which brachas of shemoneh esreh the joke entered your mind (we want to know where the shefa came from)


example: EFRON HACHITI had a nickname. his nickname was LOU. as it says:
וידבר אל עפרון לאמר אם אתה לו שמעני
I THOUGHT OF THIS JOKE DURING LAINING

example: a guy goes to his rabbi and says he made his telephone modem hekdesh. his rabbi asked why he would do something like that. the guy responded: i said in shemoneh esreh:
מודים אנחנו לך
i give my modem to you
I THOUGH OF THIS JOKE DURING THE BRACHA OF AVOS WHEN I WAS HOPING IT WOULD BE MODIM ALREADY

example: DOVID HAMELECH forsaw that some of the members of the baltimore ravens would be delinquent in alimony and child support payments. hashem in his great mercy, feeds their ex-wives and kids. as it says:
נותן לבהמה לחמה לבני עורב אשר יקראו
I DID NOT THINK OF THIS JOKE DURING ACTUAL DAVENING. I CAME LATE TO SHACHARIS AND HAD TO SKIP THIS HALLELUKA. BUT DURING CHAZARAS HASHATZ (?!?) I WAS LOOKING UP THE SPORTS SCORES ON MY PHONE, AND I REMEMBERED THIS JOKE WHEN I SAW THE RAVENS SCORE.

i can go on, but i think you get the picture.