Here I would like this thread to be mostly for orthodox single men.
I feel the single has a greater challenge then married men do.
The single does not engage in sex and therefore has a good excuse to look at forbidden pictures or videos.
I.e. as an outlet for his desires.
All this is destructive of course.
But misery loves company so single guys I want to hear from you.

guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/72260-singles---were-in-a-different-boat

Hey man, single guy here. What's on your mind?

When I'm all caught up in lusting, I feel single. Completely forget my wife exists : )

Singularity wrote on 24 Jan 2017 07:27:

Doesn't count. 

Shlomo24 wrote on 26 Jan 2017 01:59:

Bah!

Tho my remez is that don't think married life is easier in terms of this problem. It may be more destructive. Why?

1. Not just you anymore. You're taking 'em all down with you.
2. At least I know porn and masturbation are assur. But, um, mind-gaming my wife and demanding sex every few days as a permissible outlet will just feed my lust more and more without my even knowing it.

b'Sha'ah Tovah. All of youse.

Thanks for sharing, but you're still not single. 

I make joke. You understand, right?

Hey,
I'm another single orthodox guy and would love to hear what's going on?

doorknob wrote on 24 Jan 2017 03:19:


Hi Door,
Since I'm not suppose to post here, I'll be quick.
I can understand why you'd think that. Some people have the impression that married folks have a willing partner to fulfill their desires whenever they want (or at least sometimes).  My firm belief based on my experience (and I think that this is the first time here that I've written 'firm belief') is that when we are lusting, no upstanding moral women will ever be enough for us! When we work on  ourselves and get to the point that we are not lusting, then it also doesn't matter if one is married or not (from a lust perspective).
Our details may be different, but we are fighting the same fight.

stillgoing wrote on 26 Jan 2017 19:37:

You are correct, but they probably won't understand it....just like i/we didn't.

But how can you say that having kosher intimacy does not help his struggle? Doesn't it give him a kosher outlet?

mirror wrote on 26 Jan 2017 19:52:


Maybe it is a good outlet for a regular run of the mill guy, but for somebody who is already struggling with lust, pics, videos etc, 'kosher' intimacy can make the struggle harder.
For someone struggling with this (If you're not, then why are you on this site), the battle is not finding a 'kosher' outlet. It will never work. The battle is changing our mindsets and habits to be 'kosher'. If we can do that, the outlets won't a problem anymore.

So much for not writing long...

mirror wrote on 26 Jan 2017 19:52:

It gives him a kosher faucet

In my experience and from what I've heard from the hundreds of married lusters I've spoken to, getting married does not solve this issue. Most of us found that it actually made this issue much much much harder. Not that being married isn't wonderful, but it doesn't help this issue.

Markz wrote on 26 Jan 2017 20:25:

I would suggest remaining single if its an 'outlet' one needs.