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Re: Hello from Blind Beggar 24 Jan 2016 03:01 #275274

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Dov wrote:
The only rule of looking that I am willing to use is the one I heard from a guy (who I think has a lot more recovery and sobriety than I have been given) in a meeting once. He said "The first look is on G-d (that is, His tab). The second look is on me (I pay for it)."

I can live with this 'rule', because it is obvious that there is nothing wrong, unhealthy, evil, or sick with me noticing that the woman standing opposite me in the elevator has a beautiful body or face. Whether one is an addict or in the normal struggling majority, it's Hashem's Will, apparently, for us to see.

The shayloh is, do I partake? Taking in her image is an act of reducing a real person to a sex object. But they are not. Pretending they are - or could be - for me, is just practicing lying.

So when I take a second look, it is on me. I'm paying! I sometimes say out-loudish (only I can hear it): "I'm paying for that look! Hah!", or, "She's really not mine, at all!" These looks are very costly, as they drag me down and deeper into un-clarity and unhappiness, always. They cost more than money...suddenly I am so spendthrift? That's why I can really laugh about it. On a good day, nothing makes me smile as much as seeing my own nuttiness and being able to laugh about it!

Nu. The analysis of these stages of each of the seconds makes my head spin. And incidentally, the only other person I have heard teach it to 'the masses' was another therapist...both women.

Maybe they deeply understand what I (as a guy) only understand grossly and experientially. Who knows?

Hey. The bottom line is not how it makes you feel or how smart it sounds, but how it works for you - or doesn't work for you.

Intentionally looking is always on me, even for one second, period. But I am pretty messed up.
.

Our first look only on our Elohim, will it be the beauty of His wisdom, or object of a stranger, which beauty has first place, My Maker has spoken, in His word to guard my Eyes, is the very power to guard them well, I am not guarding my eyes in my strength, but in His, strength, and wisdom.
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Re: Hello from Blind Beggar 24 Jan 2016 03:48 #275281

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It does not matter that much if this seems nice, but I feel the need to be honest with you, sir. The way you express yourself makes me wonder what your point actually is, whether you are serious or not, and if you are just trying to play with this website and the people on it. If it is the latter, then that is really not very nice. If you are for real, then can you explain why you express yourself in this way?
"Off the 18-wheeler and fine on this tricycle!", "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons...and you are probably the same."

Re: Hello from Blind Beggar 24 Jan 2016 05:33 #275291

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Dov wrote:
It does not matter that much if this seems nice, but I feel the need to be honest with you, sir. The way you express yourself makes me wonder what your point actually is, whether you are serious or not, and if you are just trying to play with this website and the people on it. If it is the latter, then that is really not very nice. If you are for real, then can you explain why you express yourself in this way?
.

I am still getting knowledge about how to use site, if I enter a stricter area, I did not know. I am not a teaser, my my only desire is to be a blesising, I am not trying to be mean. Dear Mr Dov: I found your comment phrase in your note "The first look is on G-d... I was attempting to show my joy of us looking this way, first, last, and always. Yes we are men, and the second, third look we might have to pay for it. I am only interested in all our victories sir, and our Maker indeed allows a test that comes personally at us, maybe in an elevator, the question is if that second look, did I find enough beauty in my Maker, His wisdom, His truth, His way to choose One over the beauty The One put in the elevator? For me when I enter talk with my Father, and we discuss these things, my mind has already enter His wisdom, , come lets reason together, though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be a wool. His strength of wisdom reasons gain more power to keep my minds eyes on the higher beauty of wisdom. My wife tells me that there are times I see many lines in the story, but I actually leave some lines out, even if I thought them, I am sorry that you felt it was not nice, I attempted to show I agreed, the intential looks is on me, so I reason with my Maker, as a sinner tempted, I can be whiter than snow, but for me, one of many ways of deliverance, is reasoning with my Maker, and in the beauty of Wisdom, the second glance prevented will come, and has come. I hope this helped, have a great day, thanks for being here for so many of us who battle with lust. Shalom.
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Re: Hello from Blind Beggar 30 May 2016 20:20 #289265

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Today is 1,893 days which are 270 weeks and 3 days of being sober by the definition of SA which is just a bottom line that defines what the bottom floor is.

13 days on the wall because I like to look at women on the internet. The wall says my record is 560 days which is a little hard to believe. Let's see if I can get to 90 days for the umpteenth time this time.
The Blind Beggar is a character in Rebbe Nachman's story of the Seven Beggars.
If I view a woman as an object, I am powerless over lust, but I don't have to look.
I can guard my eyes.
I want to guard my eyes.
I do guard my eyes.
Why do I say these four lines?

Re: Hello from Blind Beggar 30 May 2016 20:23 #289266

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Welcome back

Cordnoy has been asking for you

you cracked the BB code
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Re: Hello from Blind Beggar 30 May 2016 21:11 #289268

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Gevaldig!!


Can I ask you a question though, Blind Beggar. Why the name?

Re:The name 31 May 2016 00:39 #289269

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Blind Beggar wrote on 02 Sep 2010 19:18:
The name "Blind Beggar" comes from the stories of Rabbi Nachman of Breslov zt"l. In the story called "The Seven Beggars" the beggar of the first day is really a tremendous tzaddik who has nothing to look at in this world of sheker and gashmius.
  I hope to be able to be guard my eyes so I thought it was a better name than No-Hope נואף or Lost Lusting Loser.
  We should all be zoche to guard our eyes.

Brother I Beg to ask has this approach of  blinders worked to shut out the WWW from your holy eyes
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Re:The name 31 May 2016 09:23 #289311

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I am not the tremendous tzaddik that the rebbe wrote about.

I can guard my eyes.
I want to guard my eyes.
I do guard my eyes. Not all the time but often.
The Blind Beggar is a character in Rebbe Nachman's story of the Seven Beggars.
If I view a woman as an object, I am powerless over lust, but I don't have to look.
I can guard my eyes.
I want to guard my eyes.
I do guard my eyes.
Why do I say these four lines?

Re:The name 31 May 2016 09:42 #289312

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I hear SEE what you're saying

Its not easy - I know all about it

I have a question; the other line in your holy signature intrigues me

"If I view a woman as an object, I am powerless over lust, but I don't have to look."

In your conclusion it seems that you are stuck with objectifying and your only resort is not to look, which didn't help me at all

Did I misinterpret your message?
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Re: Hello from Blind Beggar 01 Jun 2016 13:14 #289414

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It is only if I view a woman as an object, which I don't have to do.

The signature is a bit old and needs to be updated. It will be something for me to think about during the week of repairing the damage I did to the sefira of Yesod.
The Blind Beggar is a character in Rebbe Nachman's story of the Seven Beggars.
If I view a woman as an object, I am powerless over lust, but I don't have to look.
I can guard my eyes.
I want to guard my eyes.
I do guard my eyes.
Why do I say these four lines?

Re: Hello from Blind Beggar 12 Jan 2017 22:10 #302994

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I am back again in preparation for Shovavim.

I am working on the 3 second rule, which you should all know about, together with another member of the Forum. If one of us fails to adhere to the 3 second rule, he owes the other one 2 NIS. We speak on the phone every Friday and compare notes. Whoever fails the most pays the other one. The idea is for us both to owe nothing. The money is there to make the challenge real. Of course, this works because we both live in the same town and I know who he is.

Covenant Eyes recommends using the 3 second rule for impure thoughts also, and I am doing the 2 NIS fine system with a chosid who works in my office. He is doing it for histaclus and I am doing it for hirhurim.

So far so good. It has helped a lot over the last few days. I'm glad to be starting in the winter when the nisyonos are easier.
The Blind Beggar is a character in Rebbe Nachman's story of the Seven Beggars.
If I view a woman as an object, I am powerless over lust, but I don't have to look.
I can guard my eyes.
I want to guard my eyes.
I do guard my eyes.
Why do I say these four lines?

Re: Hello from Blind Beggar 12 Jan 2017 22:12 #302996

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B'hatzlachah.

Mink coats make me ga-ga.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1Page 2Page 3Last Page

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Re: Hello from Blind Beggar 12 Jan 2017 22:16 #302999

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Welcome back Bee-Bee!!!
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."
"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."
- General Grant


My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: Hello from Blind Beggar 13 Jan 2017 10:10 #303044

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Keep it up! 

It's worth the Shoko.
"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his sobriety level?"
"... It's over NINE-ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

One day... At A Time :-D


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Re: Hello from Blind Beggar 15 Jan 2017 21:56 #303170

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So far I have kept the 3-second rule for looking and thinking. My chassidishe office mate was successful also. The other Forum member told me the following.





"SA had an international conference here in Israel which I attended, and it lasted for 3 days. Besides male SA members, there are also female SA members and plenty of female S-Anon members.  There were more than 750 people who attended, with a significant number of them being female. Thanks to this extra push of our agreement, I was able to stay conscious of what my eyes were doing and not stare or take second looks at these women.  Many times I sat right up-front in a session and frankly couldn’t tell you where the women were in the room, which is amazing.  In the past, it would only take me a few seconds to pinpoint the most attractive lady in the room and then I would keep taking glances the whole time.


I am very grateful to say that I don’t owe you any money for my time at the conference"






I recommend this to everyone. It is like an guardyoureyes.com/forum/10-ACCOUNTABILITY-GROUPS" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/10-ACCOUNTABILITY-GROUPS">accountability group of 2 people.
The Blind Beggar is a character in Rebbe Nachman's story of the Seven Beggars.
If I view a woman as an object, I am powerless over lust, but I don't have to look.
I can guard my eyes.
I want to guard my eyes.
I do guard my eyes.
Why do I say these four lines?
Last Edit: 15 Jan 2017 22:58 by Dov.
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