YeshivaGuy wrote on 30 Nov 2020 05:13:

I don't know if you've ever dieted but that's not how it works!

while after losing weight you can start introducing more food, if you revert back to your old eating habits, you will be back to your old weight in no time at all. 

Unless you are losing weight to fit into that wedding dress that G-d forbid what would happen if you don't wear, anyone who want's to keep their weight off need to make a lifestyle change. Eating only until satisfied, not using food as a fix for emotions, and eating healthy are some of the things that any good diet incorporates.

The end goal is a lifestyle change, changing what we want and what to what we need and understanding that anything that we don't need is optional. You can tell the Y"H that this is the goal, to put him on the back burner (it could be a hot one as long as it's in the back...). The goal is not just to lose the weight but to keep it off.

You are a real inspiration! Keep it up!

YeshivaGuy wrote on 30 Nov 2020 05:13:

At some point - for an average GYE chose 90 days - a person starts to realize that this nisayon is not the monster he thought it was. As opposed to being overwhelmed and full of yi'ush like when you started out, you realize that although there will be challenging times, BH you have learned many techniques how to get past them. You also have destroyed the big fat lie that had you (and many of us) convinced that there is no real life without frequent ejaculation. For the rest of your iyh long and healthy life you will have to be one step ahead of this scourge. You will have to consider and plan when there are changes in schedule, vacation destinations and plans, simcha situations, etc. You are now in the same boat as many dear yidden of various madreigos who are all facing this yetzer hara on a frequent basis. Welcome to the club of normal guys buddy.

I don’t get it.
I just wanna nap for abit before mincha.
Get into bed and now tons and tons of taiva.
And I need to consciously not touch my “ever.”

Will I ever be able to nap in peace?

My heart’s pounding etc. God! I just wanna nap so I can learn second Seder! 
Cmon! Am I some sick maniac?

I went through the same thing.

Here is a riddle: what gets hungrier the more it's fed?

Hopefully you will get your mind off the situation ☺️..

But on a serious note, it's a really tough situation to be in, maybe try "rideing the wave" and try to relax yourself.
It took me along time to stop.
Keep it up

Amazingly, that’s what I did.
I breathed in and out and calmed down.
Bh

YeshivaGuy wrote on 01 Dec 2020 19:16:

Oh man, how many times did i dread going to bed from fear of masturbating, fantasizing.... There were times i simply stayed up for hours to avoid that absolute gehenom. And back then there was noone to talk to! 

You are a ridiculous hero! And posting your struggles here not only is a form of deflating and releasing your taavah, but also serves the lofty purpose of strengthening others who are in a similar predicament.
Keep up your amazing work, brother!

88 days clean.

Im just gonna say that I am having tremendous taiva to watch bad stuff and to masterbate.
I know it’s def linked to last night not being so careful with my thoughts.

Right as I’m sitting in my dorm room typing this, my arms are weak from taiva (whenever I’m attacked by body feels weak for some reason) and I’m consciously keeping myself in my chair and not lying to masterbate.

For a moment last night I got amazon to finally order the SIM card adapter thing (which target doesn’t sell for some reason) and held back from getting YouTube (I deleted amazon no worries).

Im still clean but I’m struggling.
Im sure that it’s directly linked to my shteiging in Yeshiva. 
Yesterday and today was shver which def affected this.

Im now shaking  with taiva.
I will summon the strength to drag my frail guf to the Bais HaMedrash even though it’s still dinner.

I am at a crossroads.
There is no middle ground.
ובחרת בחיים.

May I be zoche, and May HaShem Yisborach have rachmanus on us and bring the Geula Shelaima Bekarov Mamash.

The struggling,

YeshivaGuy

You are my hero

I am rooting for you!

You've shown you can get to 88 days,
I'm confident you will get to 89.

Iyh the day will soon come that you will look back at your posts with amazement. It will be like someone who spent years underground and slowly climbed up and out to the fresh air and sunlight. During his climb he constantly wondered "Is there really a sun? Is there really fresh air to be had?" The only sobering thought as he rejoices upon his exit is "How many guys are still stuck down there?"

beyond belief.

i know i always told myself, and i always assumed everyone did, that the nisayon happened around 10 steps before what you describe. by the time im where you were, i tell myself "theres no bechira anymore".
to be stuck in that nightmare, and instead of just giving in so you can be done with it (we're not even talking about enjoyment at that point! its just like, LEAVE ME ALONE!!!) instead of that, your reaching out here!? and fighting like a tiger?! beyond belief.
you inspire me. thank you.

Do you realise your strength? Like notice how strong a nisayon you can overcome compared to what was 88 days ago. You have built yourself up like an impenetrable fortress. Withstanding tests that were absolutely impossible a couple of months ago.
Now, for that alone, it was surely worth the effort. Look back and congratulate yourself. 
You are a hero. A well earned title! 

Tonight is the night of Day 90.
B’ezras Hashem I’ll be davening Kabolas Shabbos and maariv tonight.
Finnaly got the courage to accept to do it (it’s a big Yeshiva so it’s intimidating).

I hope to take the opportunity to sing Shiros vTishbachos of the Ribono Shel Olam b’Rabim,  to thank him for my Hatzlocha thus far, as well as to daven that I may be Zoche to be a כלי for השראת השכינה in this world.

Thank you all for the chizuk and support.
I love you all.
Have a wonderful Shabbos!

Oh so this guy can also sing??

Nice. 

If anyone wishes you MAZEL TOV tonight - Tell him “TY KOT” - it’s just another brother on the Truck :-)