get on a treadmill. something is triggering you. deal with it.

Can we get some details? 

Why is it that you want to fall, is there something that you are trying to escape from or do you just desperately need the pleasure? (Is there a third option?)

If you just "hold out and stay strong" then it really is just a matter of time. You've been here long enough, you know everything, so what is going on? Is there something else?

You asked about the urge lasting only 20 minutes, I think the answer is that an urge by itself only lasts 20 minutes but if it is caused by something else, it can last as long as that other thing lasts (sometimes on and off). 

wilnevergiveup wrote on 29 Jun 2021 05:55:

I like your answer. Yes, I am under a tremendous amount of stress lately. I guess you are saying that is what causes the urge to last.

Anyway, I misbehaved last night. Not terribly though. I feel bad, but I honestly don't see how there was another option. I lost after an excruciating day... Obviously feeling weak today.

Off topic but why is "I lost a 6 month streak. I will get back there. Not if, but when. When? Now." in you signature?

Why is this important to you now? And why do you need to get a 6 month streak back?

wilnevergiveup wrote on 29 Jun 2021 19:50:

Many reasons. To name a few.

1. I am married, and I feel horrible because of the disloyalty.

2. It effects my Yiddishkeit in many ways.

3. I am always unhappier after.

4. I have a hard time respecting myself when I can't practice any discipline.

Yet at the same time the pain of not acting out is incredible too...

Grant400 wrote on 29 Jun 2021 20:34:

The question was 1. Why it's important that you had a streak and you lost it? And 2. Why do you fee that it's important to get that streak back?

#4 might be part of the problem, not the solution.

Fell after 53 days. B"H not a bad fall. Streaks are getting longer again, but feeling a little dejected. Wondering how to keep to the same stringent standards practiced in the tentative first days of a streak, weeks in. Confidence builds, leading to the rise of false bravado and foolishness.

Grant, I’m not here to give eitza right now because I don’t have good eitza.
But I will say that you have been an inspiration for me during my entire time here on the site.
You were the one who reached out to me to lmk how everything works around here and was mechazeik me when I was down.

You have it within to be matzliach bezras Hashem.
Maybe a good idea (unless ur doing it already) to keep being bkesher with guys on the phone regularly from here, and maybe post more often.

Whatever you think, again I’m not here to give eitza, just to remind you who you truly are and what you have been for myself and many others here.

With Love,

 YeshivaGuy

YeshivaGuy wrote on 23 Aug 2021 01:35:

Thank you. Just as you aren't offering an eitza, I'm not seeking one. I'm not discouraged or hopeless. The reality is I'm shteiging and growing quite a bit. I understand that falls happen and I must move on. I cannot expect myself to be an angel. Humans falter and fail. The requirement is to learn from each fall and learn what to avoid and what to do to prevent falling yet again. I can honestly say this fall came from a slowly growing carelessness. I got comfortable and didn't work on continuing to grow more since I was complacent with the status quo. The status quo always ends up burning out. I will try to reinvigorate myself more often even when I feel I am stable.

For now I'm just trying my hardest to rip out of the fall. It's always the hardest to build the initial streak. My evil inclination tells me to enjoy just once more while I'm not losing a streak... So far good BH but desire is increasing. 

I've been very busy but I should update more often.

Should, should, should. How many times do we start a sentence with that word and already feel better and like we did something....and then do nothing. Hopefully now will be different.

                             A weary Grant

General????

2021 style of “changing of the guards”

“Report: Israel Seized Iranian General in Damascus, Freed Him in S. Africa”

So, now, where’s the General?

Dear Grant,
We sincerely miss your presence.How's all going?

Grant, oh, Grant. Where are you?
Are you secretly shteiging without telling us? Or perhaps you've fallen and are ashamed to show your face?
Your presence is very much missed over here.

Direct messages will go straight to Grant's email and he will see them

Direct messages will go straight to Grant's email and he will see themSIR CAPTAIN - For Gds sake, apparently you know where the GENERAL is…



Resuscitate him 



You know there can be long term damage every second delayed??



Is he scared to come back to his senses?



Well then please use all “The Fight” tools at your disposal to get him back to his senses!!!!!!!!