Hi everyone,

I am 22 years old. I want to share my story. 

I'm not from a religious family. I come from a traditional jewish family where we called it in France "Jews of Kippour".
First of all, I need to announce that I am addicted to computer. Since the age of 10years I was able to spend days and nights before the screen, playing video games, chatting and finally losing precious time.. 
When I was in secondary school (13 years old), my friends (not jewish) showed a p*** video. When I saw that, I feeled deeply shocked by the content on one hand but on the other hand it creates in me pleasure and I would to review that. I asked my friends to send me this video and I watched it in my bed the following night. In the meantime, I discussed s** with a friend (a girl). And this is the starting point of a long addiction.
I've been continued to watch p***. A few years ago, I did Techouva. I have become aware of watching this so I have installed a filter. However, I am brillant in computer engineering (my occupation) so it's easy for me to bypass filters.

Maybe later, I'll add details of my personal history.

I don't know what are my means today. I have now a filter installed on my computer but I can bypass it easily. My smartphone is well filtered too. 

I have two addictions : computer and p***

What can I do ?

I'm sorry that you are in pain.

Why do you want to stop masturbating?

mzl wrote on 17 Jun 2018 12:14:

Pain is often the most compelling reason...

It's not the same if the question is answered by somebody else.

Because it destroys my soul and my being. 
It's dirty, disgusting, repulsive but it gives me pleasure. A false pleasure because just after, it is a pain, remorses, etc.

Welcome!
There’s actually a French section of the site, the link should be at the top corner of the page (I can’t see it on my phone). But your English is excellent, you can keep posting here too

Bekodech, welcome to GYE. As you can see, everyone is eager to welcome you here and you can feel safe and at home with your problems among us.

If you go to the home page, you will see a list of tools that you can try. Perhaps the TAPHSIC method can help you where filters cannot. Personally for me, joining the 90 day challenge and posting in the forums has been the most helpful, but everyone has success with a different combination of the methods provided. Also make sure to educate yourself - there is a very large archive of articles, shiurim etc to go through and you can register to get a daily chizuk email, if you haven't already.

Keep posting!

You sound pretty motivated. Have you thought about what tools to use when you feel an urge to think about sex / look at things?

Welcome!  Check out the handbook.  Keep posting. You are not alone.

Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 17 Jun 2018 13:37:

guardyoureyes.com/french/

Thanksfor your answers.

I do know the french part of Guard Your Eyes of course. It's just there is more activity here and I would like also to teach myself writing in english (it's a good opportunity).

Maybe I should read more articles about the subject and read more often the hizouk mails. It's the first time I talk a community about my problem. I hope, it will help me to figure out this issue. 

Mzl, I don't know what tools are the more efficient. It's just : I am alone, at home. it's late, I am tired or worry about daily life problems. Then, my desire begins. It is almost as if I lose the reason. I know how I'm going to feel myself after. So, I will attempt to bypass the filter (which I have done many times). And you the rest.
I can listen dvar Torah about the sin of zl, its gravity. How to be pure is pleasant, etc. A few minutes later, I can fall. 

So basically you are like everyone else here.

Hopefully the handbook has a buffet of different things you can try.

Don't worry about the language barrier, we understand what you are saying. Your English is pretty good.