hello. my name is joeross. ive been addicted since i was a kid. age 5 or 7 i was addicted. i just entered gye community in janurary .
ive been learning a lot about this addictions. getting help from my advisors.
 now im up to day 11 clean bh. been following a method that really works for me....i will put more info about myself as time goes on bn, right now i got to go
thanks for reading!!

Hey Joe i know we are great friends. but you have to make your own thread go to where it says new topic and start writing your story. Looking forward to seeing your story on the forum.


 Wishing you lots of luck Yankel

joeross275 wrote on 13 Jun 2018 19:27:

Welcome Joe!
Great to hear you have support!!

Its impressive that you are copying Yankel and  just trying to do the right thing!

Hi everyone today by work i stumbled into a website by mistake that will lead me into the wrong direction. anyways, i really have the urge to relook at that website and there is a voice inside of me that's telling me that website is allowed it won't be considered a fall as it's just a way to get information it doesn't fall into the category of a fall. But i know full well that i'm going into that website not only out of curiosity but also out of feelings of lust and it's a slippery slope. Therefore i'm adding that website to my agreement for the future if i go back to that website it will be considered a fall and i will have to go to PA

I regards to the past, the fact that i ended on that website happened, (it's done) i spent less than a few minutes reading an article on it, which wasn't an outright article that is a fall but i know it will lead to a slippery slope and that in that website itself there were more triggering articles (So while the yetzer hara is playing his guilty game and trying to make me feel as though it was a fall) I don't consider what happened a fall but for the future i will consider going to that website a fall, regardless of what article i read.

Sounds Fair? 

 Love Yankel!

iampowerless wrote on 14 Jun 2018 20:05:

Go easy on yourself bro...

I don't bother too much with 'counting' my falls



Keep your eyes focused on the target - hey they don't call it guard your eyes for nothing, and keep the Love coming!

iampowerless wrote on 14 Jun 2018 20:05:

Personally I think you are confusin' yetzer hara with somethin' else.

Bottom line question: are you happy/satisfied/content with the way you are livin' life now?

God speed!

I think you mean that the yetzer is saying "go ahead because you really fell already". Did I get that right?

Markz wrote on 14 Jun 2018 20:22:

Hey Markz, you are right sometimes i really make myself dizzy with equations instead of just focusing on the target another think i have to work on......

 Here is to keeping the love coming! Love Yankel!

cordnoy wrote on 14 Jun 2018 20:25:

You mean confusing the Yetzer hara with Anxiety? 

In regards to your second question i am way happier now with life than i was in the past, but there are still tonz of challenging moments where i'll feel sad and depressed.

 Love Yankel!

mzl wrote on 14 Jun 2018 20:49:

Yup but as cords pointed out it's really my good friend Mr. Anxiety who is is saying "go ahead because you really fell already"

 Love Yankel!

That's the yetzer hara too. You were thinking "my behavior today disqualifies my previous efforts, what I have done has no value." It's like the serpent saying to Chava "see, you touched the tree and nothing happened, therefore G-d must be wrong about eating it too."

The yetzer just tells you something different each time, it has quite a catalog.

Hi everyone another week has gone by, the 1st part of the week was extremely tough i felt extremely low and depressed and it was a real tough fight, but by practicing my program which is keeping in touch with the Chevra, Mindfulness, gym etc, as well as accepting my moods, feelings and urges for what they are i b'h "rode the tsunamis" ​b'h now i'm feeling better...........

Anyways i believe that all my falls could be linked to one of these 3 main triggers 

1. Triggered based fall- I saw something and now i feel triggered
2. Relieving Stress based Fall- I'm feeling in a terrible mood so i fall to relieve myself of the stress
3.Feeling Guilty- I saw something i shouldn't or that was questionable and instead of moving on and concentrating on the future i get myself into these mood of "i blew it" or "start getting myself all caught up "overthinking it" instead of "moving on". 

 Love Yankel

Last night was so rough for me......... i felt such strong anxiety and such a desire to act out. I was literally going insane......but i knew that while acting out will help my anxiety for a few minutes but in the long term it will cause me to be enslaved to act when i'm feeling anxiety and my anxiety is just going to be reinforced and get stronger in the future. b'h right when i was feeling extremely horrible 2 friends of mine from a yeshiva near me, knocked on my door if i could help them put a new CD on their MP3. Since they had an extremely old and yeshivish MP3 it took 45 minutes to put it on, b'h that ordeal calmed me down afterwards i did some mindfullness, took a hot bath (hot water could really calm anxiety) etc..... b'h rode the wave

 ONE DAY AT A TIME

Way to go ...

What did you feel anxious about? Did something happen to you? Did you have a conversation that upset you?

iampowerless wrote on 21 Jun 2018 14:26:

Great going!!